Chapter 13
The next morning, I went to the gym per my usual schedule. Crystal was there ready for our workout. I feared my open and honest approach may have scared her off, but it didn’t. She was all smiles even though I was about to wear her out with our workout.
“Good morning.”
“Happy Wednesday, Umar. Where do you want me?”
Internally I grinned at my response. I would normally have a smart-ass response to that comment, but considering my circumstances, I dare not reply with anything sexual. “How about we start out on the Stair Master.”
“You would want to punish me for eating that chocolate torte last night.” She giggled.
“Let’s get to it, no more jokes.” I laughed at her remarks.
We worked out for the next two hours. Cardio, stretching and then weight training. That was our routine. When we were done, Crystal approached me.
“Umar, thank you again for last night. I enjoyed myself.”
“I’m happy to hear that. I was afraid I might have scared you off.”
“Oh no, I don’t scare easily, but I have to tell you your lifestyle is different.”
“What do you mean?”
“The whole sharing situation. I don’t know if I could ever do something like that. Ivy must be one bad bitch to have two fine ass brothers willing to love her.”
I smiled. Ivy was bad as fuck. But there was more to it than that. “Don’t say never. I didn’t know I was open to that lifestyle until it happened. I can at least say I tried it and if it works great and if it doesn’t, I can take away some things I learned about myself.”
“Like what?”
My mind raced thinking about all that I learned about myself from being in this relationship, some things I wanted to share and some I wanted to keep to myself. “You have to care about the other parties just as much as you care about your own needs. There is an unselfishness about me that didn’t exist before. Taking care of my needs is easy but identifying what your other partners need means being aware at all times. Knowing how and when to insert yourself. Being accepting freely of them so you can add value to your situation. It isn’t always sexual. Only forty percent of the relationship is physical. The other sixty percent is mental and emotional maturity.”
“Wow, I never thought of it that way.”
“I was like that before I stepped into it.”
“Umar, you are one special guy.” Crystal said, as she grabbed her bag, and we walked toward the exit. I escorted her to her car; we hugged and went our separate ways.
By the time I arrived back home, to my surprise Dos had used his key and let himself in.
“Nigga, I was ready to blast your ass,” I said as I entered the condo.
“Shidd, I was hoping to see shorty from last night here. I just knew her fine ass was laying up here ass naked.” Dos laughed.
“It’s not even like that.”
“Then what is it like? And are you cooking breakfast?”
I gave him a look and shook my head. “Nigga, you want food and a story. You always asking for the most.” We both laughed. But it was good that he asked. I had some things to get off my chest and hopefully this would encourage him to do the same. I filled Dos in on Crystal. I assured him that it started out so innocent. Now, after last night, I don’t know. I could honestly see myself with her.
“What about Ivy?”
“You know I care for Ivy. But I care about you even more.”
“What the fuck does that mean? Don’t blame this shit on me, Uno”
“Come on Dos. I know you’re struggling with this arrangement. If I step aside you can have a life with Ivy. Just you and her.”
“It’s not that simple and you know it.”
“It can be.”
“No, the fuck it can’t. I see the way she looks at you. You have a connection with her that I will never have.”
“Nigga, I can say the same about you. I’ve seen your interactions. They had me feeling like a third wheel. That girl loves you, Dos. I couldn’t see it before. But every time I watch you two, it’s so clear. And the sad part is it’s always been there.”
“How so?”
“You remember that night we all played hide and go get it?” Dos shook his head as if to say yes.
“Yeah, that was a wild night.” I could see him reminiscing about that day.
“Well, I saw you two. I saw how she responded to you. At first, I wanted to punch you. But after that day, I watched how you both responded towards each other. I.. I inserted myself into the situation when I should have pulled away. Did she like me yes, but I should have been the bigger person. She cheated on me with you. If she truly loved me that would have never happened. She was drawn to you, but loyalty kept me and her together. I see that now. She didn’t ask you first to approve this relationship, she protected you from getting hurt. She dated you and fucked me. There is a difference.”
“Damn Uno, you was blocking all this time”
“Listen asshole, joke all you want. What I’m telling you is I’m ending this arrangement.”
“Nigga, you can’t do that. Ivy won’t forgive us”
“She will. She will also learn to love only you. I should have done it a long time ago.”
“But what about…”
“Dude, we will always be brothers. Fucking the same girl was never our bond. We’re blood and can’t nothing break that. And had you told me how you were feeling, maybe I would have figured this shit out sooner.”
“Man, I just didn’t know what to say or how to feel. I never wanted to hurt you or Ivy.”
“Nana told me you were ready to put a ring on her finger, nigga you should have told me instead of turning this into a competition. I would have respected you and her had she said yes.”
“You would have never forgiven me.”
“I already did. Hell, we’re business partners and brothers. We forgive each other every day. But allowing Ivy to come between us should have never happened. Which is why, I’mma allow you to run the club.”
“What! The club has always been your baby. You don’t have to do that, Uno.”
“I know. But I can be a silent partner. It’s time I found something to do with my life. I poured myself into the club, to escape Ivy. I’m not running anymore. You and her need to be able to love out loud. That can’t happen if I’m everywhere, especially there. I need you and her to be comfortable.”
“Damn nigga, you really thought this shit out.”
“Crystal must have some good pussy.”
“Naw, I wouldn’t even know. I’m not even sure if I’ll find out. It’s not about her. It isn’t even about you or Ivy. It’s about me. I care enough about myself to allow the two people I love the most to have peace and happiness. That’s it that’s all.”
“Damn Bro, that’s some deep shit.”
That’s maturity I thought to myself. Hurt will have you doing some fucked up shit in the name of love.
We ate our breakfast and talked through some stuff that we should have handled years ago. Dos was the only living relative I had left besides Nana. The brotherly bond was complicated enough without us allowing childish shit to hinder our growth. It felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I really did love my brother. We were so much alike and yet so different. All he wanted was my respect and all I wanted was to be a good role model for him. After this conversation, I felt like we finally cleared the air and could make room for us to be the men we both needed each other to be.
“All this is good and all, but who’s going to tell Ivy?”
“Yeah. How about we wait until after her birthday.”
“Bet.”