Chapter 8
Chapter Eight
MADDIE
“ I hate Christmas,” I grumble to Zoey as I sink my fourth shot in an hour, my mood worsening.
Tipping her glass in salute, she deadpans, “Really? I had no clue.”
“I hate you. Don’t speak to me,” I reply jokingly.
After I told Parker I couldn’t have dinner with him, I finished up at the rec center and needed to decompress.
Not one for wandering around—I’m usually only ever at home or the bookstore—I saw the lights for Harry’s Bar and made my way in.
I’d been sitting here for about an hour before Zoey walked in.
She took one look at me sitting by myself and hasn’t left since.
“So, you gonna tell me what’s got you all bent out of shape?”
I raise an eyebrow.
“More than usual,” she clarifies with a laugh, her pink hair gleaming in the low light of the bar. “You’re like the town's version of The Grinch .”
I lean back in my chair, sipping my fruity cocktail. “Hey, don’t knock one of the greats. Dr. Seuss was onto something when he wrote The Grinch . Christmas sucks.”
Now it’s Zoey’s turn to raise an eyebrow at me. “You ever gonna tell me why?”
I blow out a breath, swirling the alcohol around in my glass. “Doesn’t matter. Just wish it wasn’t rammed down our throats every year,” I mutter, downing the rest of my drink.
“You need to lighten up, get in the Christmas spirit,” she jokes, sensing my shift in mood.
I laugh, a full-bellied one. “Hell will freeze over the day that happens.”
Zoey smirks around her glass, her brown eyes twinkling with mischief. “Never say never, Maddie. Stranger things have happened.”
“Well, I’m saying never,” I state, rolling the empty glass around in my hand. “Not gonna happen.”
Zoey loves Christmas; it’s all she’s mentioned in the last couple of months leading up to it.
I wish I could get into the Christmas spirit like she and so many others have, but I can’t.
After one too many failed attempts at trying to enjoy the holidays, they just don’t stir up the emotions in me that they used to.
“Will you at least put up a tree this year?” she asks, but she already knows my answer from the disapproving look I give her.
I snort at the ridiculous notion. “Why? So it can be up for twenty-five days only to be put in the dumpster? I’d rather not waste my money.”
“I’ve never met anyone who dislikes Christmas as much as you do.” She giggles, one too many cocktails going to her head.
“And I like it that way,” I reply, signaling the waitress for another round to drown out the godawful Christmas music playing in the background.
Why I thought it would be a good idea to come here, I’ll never know.
Thank god there’s only another twenty days to go, and then it’s all over for another year.
Zoey looks at me, her eyes narrowing. “Stop trying to get out of it.”
“Out of what?” I ask, slowly lowering my glass.
“What’s bothering you? You’re a hermit, Mads. You don’t go out, yet here you are… in a bar, on a school night.” She crosses her arms, an eyebrow quirked.
I sigh, not liking where her line of questioning is going. “I wanted a drink. Nothing wrong with that.”
“Maddie,” she says on a sigh, “I want to be your friend. Let me help you. Something’s wrong and I’m not going to stop until you tell me.”
“There isn’t anything wrong.”
“Yes, there is. Spill it.”
“Are you always this intrusive, or is it just with me?” I retort, rolling my eyes playfully.
She smiles, one of pure delight. “Oh, I’m like this with everyone. It’s just more fun with you.”
“Thanks?”
Why do I have the sudden urge to tell Zoey everything? Is that what friends do? I’ve kept everything so close to my chest for so long, I don’t know what’s normal and what isn’t anymore.
The waitress arrives, bringing new drinks, and I take mine from her, gulping down half of it in one go before blurting, “Parker Grayson is trying to change my mind about Christmas. ”
Zoey claps her hands with a squeal. “I knew something was going on.”
I look at her, confused. “You did? How?”
“Oh, not with Parker” —she waves her hand in dismissal— “I meant you. But he is one fine specimen of a man,” she says dreamily, her mind clearly wandering. “You’re going to upset a lot of people with that one. His daughter is a little sweetie, too.”
“Nothing is going on,” I sigh, rubbing my head from the headache forming. “He’s just…” I stop, not sure what else to say.
“He’s just what?” Zoey asks, leaning her elbows on the table and placing her head in her hands like she’s just about to hear the juiciest bit of gossip. And coming from me? It’ll be the best she’s ever heard.
Why is this so hard to say?
“He’s making me feel… things. Things I’ve tried so hard to keep under lock and key.
The worst part is that I’ve only had a couple of encounters with him…
it's weird. Surely I shouldn’t feel this way?
” I ramble, keeping my gaze firmly on anything other than Zoey.
“It took me months to get even remotely comfortable with ex-boyfriends in the past, and even then, I couldn’t be bothered with them.
Everything was such a chore, but with Parker…
it's not.” I finish my rant and glance at Zoey, who’s looking at me with wide eyes.
“Oh, shit. It’s weird, isn’t it? I knew it was,” I groan.
“No, Maddie. It’s not weird,” she rushes to reassure me. “I mean, I’ve never experienced it personally, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen.” She gives me a warm smile before adding, “I must say, though, I’m loving this new ‘open’ Maddie. I approve.”
“Shut up,” I laugh, shoving her gently. “But seriously, why do I feel like this? Is something wrong with me?”
“Oh, hon. It’s a good thing. It’s about time you let those walls around you down,” she says gently, placing a hand on my arm.
It takes me a few minutes to force the words around the lump formed in my throat. “I don’t know if I can,” I whisper.
“You won’t know unless you try. He’s a good guy, Maddie.”
I glance up at her. “Aren’t they all in the beginning?”
“Some, yes, but not all. You need to stop hiding and start living your life. I don’t know much, but I do know you’ve been hurt. Maybe start as friends? Hang out? See how you feel?”
I nod. “I’ll think about it.”
“If it doesn’t work, that’s okay, but you have got to stop hiding. You’re too pretty for that,” she adds with a wink.
Perhaps I do need to stop hiding and open myself up to the possibility of a friendship with Parker or, dare I say it… maybe even love?