Chapter 44
Alessa
“What are you doing?” Instinctively, I hide behind a large tree growing in someone’s yard. “Are you wearing jeans?”
Julianna lowers her sunglasses, the sun instantly hitting her (majestic, squared, kill me now) face. She blinks away the glare before finally dropping her arms again. “For the love of God, Lessa, can we talk?”
My sneer is felt all the way over in the Pearl. “No! I mean, my lawyer does not advise that.” Neither does my conscience. It says that if I talk to Julianna for too long, she might seduce me again because my pathetic ass can’t help itself.
“Fuck your lawyer. Lessa, you know this whole thing has been blown completely out of proportion. Let’s go somewhere to talk.”
She’s still standing on the sidewalk like she owns the block. For all I know, she does.
And I’m still standing behind this tree like a pathetic basket case.
“I’m not going anywhere with you. It’s over. You get it? It was over when you seduced me under such disgusting pretenses.”
“Would you at least let me explain?”
“Explain what? That you get off on turning an ordinary girl’s life upside down like it’s Christmas for you? I know that’s how you rich people get your jollies!” They can afford any experience in the world, including seducing women like me and taking us on the whirlwind romances of our lives. Then they dump us when they’ve had their fill and move on. I know it was only a matter of time before that last bit happened to me.
She guffaws. “You don’t seriously believe that, do you? Come on, Lessa!”
We still haven’t resolved the fact that she’s not wearing fancy clothes. This is the woman who would wear a three-piece pantsuit or a Gucci dress to the gym if she could get away with it. Now it’s all I can think about. In the months I dated her, I rarely saw Julianna Marcon wearing anything less than business formal. For her, going without a blazer or a diamond-studded belt on her dress was the epitome of casual. She must be dressed like this because she’s trying to blend in with the Portland crowd.
“Go. Away.”
I almost falter. If anyone saw Julianna the way I do now? They would have that moment of weakness smack them upside the head as well. After all, she’s Julianna fucking Marcon! One of the most beautiful women in this wretched, cursed city, and she’s wearing tight jeans!
If those same people saw her and knew as well as I did that she could screw a girl’s brains out? Nobody would blame them for driving off into the sunset with her.
Except me. I would blame them. I would certainly blame myself for getting back into that loveless mess.
To think… I had told her that I was falling in love with her. That I believed her when she said she might have feelings for me.
It’s a good thing one of the residents of the house chooses that moment to step out onto his porch, arms crossed and glaring in Julianna’s direction. The man is middle-aged and nowhere near as fit as Julianna, but bless him, he puffs himself up as he takes command of his property. “Can I help y’all?” he asks with a gruff voice. He briefly glances at me and notices the look of panic on my face. “You being bothered, Miss?”
Ah, good. I could possibly get Julianna arrested for trespassing and harassment. Okay, so she’s on the sidewalk and I’m the one on the property, but those are minor details.
“I’m… fine.” I step out from behind the tree and give the man a small wave. “I think we’re having a misunderstanding here. Sorry!”
Like that, I take off down the sidewalk.
“H… hey!” Julianna comes after me. That’s what I get for taking one second to look over my shoulder instead of booking it like I wanted. “Lessa!”
Run… run… I’ll keep running until I finally put this woman behind me and never think about her again. Guess that means I’m running forever.
Nope. I make it to a park a whole two minutes away before my winded ass needs to plop down a bench and hope someone doesn’t accost me for money. Luckily, on a day like today, most of the park is occupied by dog walkers and kids. And Julianna Marcon, who caught up to me in about ten seconds. Damn her. She’s not even out of breath.
“Lessa,” she barks. “I swear to God, you try me.”
I flash her the most heated look I can muster when I already feel like a winded sack of sorry shit. It’s a good thing, too. It sort of puffs me up to brave the woman I thought I loved. The fetching, sharp, sometimes ironically funny woman who had convinced me that we may have had a chance. For a while, anyway. “Not as much as you try me.”
“Would you let me explain myself for two seconds? This whole mess could have been avoided had you ever listened to me.”
“Let me guess,” I say with a sniff, “if we were still together, you’d give me a good spanking for my current insubordination. Right, madam?” I make sure to spit her favorite word.
“Alessa Penrose,” she snaps back at me. “You are one of the most incorrigible women I have ever…”
I don’t let her finish. “I know. You thought I’d be some docile target, yes? Oh, wait. Sorry. You didn’t even choose me. According to Cher, it was Presley who chose me for you.”
“Why in the world are you listening to her? She’s a liar! A scheming, money-hungry…”
Deep down, I know it’s the truth. I know that Cher’s endgame, as soon as she saw the opportunity, was to milk these women for as much as she could get. What better way to do that than to win a nice lawsuit? Once she realized she could bring me down with her, that only solidified her case.
I know this. But what am I going to do? Walk away? Go back to Julianna, so she can continue to string me along and humiliate me? I don’t think so. I’d rather keep some shred of dignity and get what I can out of this.
Then again, just because I hate what she’s done, doesn’t mean I want her business to be ruined. “What does it matter?” I finally ask. “I’m humiliated.”
She slowly sits down on the other end of the bench, her arm slinking along the back as if we’re real lovers enjoying a nice day at the park. I bristle. What I would give for it to be true. “For what’s it worth, I do genuinely like you, Lessa.”
I almost believe her. In fact, I do believe her. All those weeks together, letting me see some of the most intimate sides of her… for fuck’s sake, this woman once walked in on me using the damn bathroom and politely pretended to not have seen a thing while she grabbed a towel and her toothbrush before bed. We were about to reach that part of our relationship where the good kinds of familiarity settle in. Knowing we can count on each other, what we like and dislike, seeing the perfect present and awaiting the smile on her face… we were almost there.
Then it was ruined.
“Tell me the truth, Julianna,” I say, still unable to bring myself to look at her. “Was what Cher said about that night true? Was I a bet you had with your business partner?”
Her silence is telling enough at first. At least enough for me to get up and walk out of her life forever. No, I don’t need her to verbally confirm. I know.
She at least has the decency to do it anyway.
“I was staying in the office late on a Friday night. You know how Presley is. Always concerned that I’m not having enough fun in my life. I don’t know how the conversation turned to it, but she bet me that I couldn’t ‘seduce’ an intern. Because I have such an awful personality, apparently.” She stops for a moment. Then, “So, I took her up on that bet. To top it off, I had sex with the woman she picked. Why not? I know I can seduce anyone I want, let alone make them tolerate my company. I believed it, too. Hell, I still do. It’s not something I’m ashamed of.”
I scoff, my whole body turned away from her. A golden retriever runs by with a Frisbee in its mouth. A young boy chases after it with shrieks of laughter.
This is supposed to be a happy park for families and lovers enjoying the sunshine. Here we are, polluting it with our drama.
“But yes. Presley ‘chose’ you at random. Yet when you entered my office, I felt… well, I knew it was an opportunity. One I would not let pass me by.”
My body is so tense that I need a Thai massage to ever feel normal again. “I bet she chose me because I was the ugliest of all the interns.”
“No. She chose you because she thought you were the one to drive me crazy first. It was no secret that you had been falling behind in performance around the office.”
“So, you ordered me up with a false story and then proceeded to lie about always being attracted to me. God! I knew it was bullshit, Jules. All that stuff you told me didn’t make sense, but how could I resist you? You’re right! You can seduce anyone you want!”
“I now highly doubt that.”
“What makes you say that?”
She looks away. “I doubt I could seduce you right now with you feeling like this.”
She’s right. As much as I wish we could go back to her penthouse and roll around in her California King Bed, it wouldn’t be right. I would be full of these bitter feelings, and she would be making a huge legal mistake.
“Thank you for telling me the truth.”
“Lessa, I…” Julianna moves to touch me but retracts her hand at the last moment. “It’s also the truth that I enjoy being with you. I do think… thought… of you as my girlfriend. To tell you the truth, I’ve been fucked up since you left.”
Dare I believe her? What part of this is a performance? Did Ms. Bradford bet her that she couldn’t seduce me again? Where do the lies end, and the truths begin? What do I do?
“The fact of the matter is,” I finally say. “You seduced me under those pretenses. You lied to me through omission.” I hate saying this. “If we got back together, I would forever wonder if you truly did care for me or were only putting on appearances to make a point. We already had a precarious relationship. I’m sorry it’s come to this, but I have no choice.”
“So…” she begins, clearing her throat. “That’s it, huh? Gone like that? It’s over?”
“Guess so.” Some other voice in the back of my mind screams that it isn’t so. But dare I listen? Ha! I don’t listen to anything but reason and logic right now. Both are telling me to calm down before Julianna has the chance to woo me with her kind words again. Saying that she truly likes me… wants to be with me… thinks she’s taking me to her brother’s wedding… “Sorry. Bed made.”
“All right, Lessa.” She stands, and I’m already panicking that she’s walking away, out of my life forever. How pathetic of me! “I’ll leave you alone today. But I’m going to ask you again the next time we meet. And the time after that. If you deny me three times, I’ll stay out of your life forever.”
I stifle a laugh.
“What?”
“Deny you three times… who are you, Jesus?” I let my laugh fly loose now. “Guess that makes me Judas!”
“I didn’t mean it that way. Also, I'm pretty sure you're thinking of Peter."
Is she flustered? Did accidentally making a religious joke throw her off? Too good to be true.
“All right, Julianna. You get two more shots. But you better make them good, because I plan on denying you both times.” I must, for my sake. I can’t live the rest of my life falling for whatever someone tells me. The next person I get involved with might not be as good as Julianna. I might end up with a Presley Bradford, who orders girls for her friends.
“I will, Lessa. You have my word.” Julianna gives me one last look before turning away, her body swallowed up by the summertime sunshine. “Next time, you’ll falter more.”
I wipe a tear from my eye as I go back to Cher’s. I blame it on allergies.