Chapter 17
Julianna
We survive the party for another hour. I introduce Alessa to my father, who is much more amiable than my mother, and instantly takes a liking to her. Jordan and Ted insist on sitting down with us to go over last-minute wedding details—and to discuss the dual-bachelor party they’ll be having in Tokyo in a few weeks.
Tokyo, because that’s where they met. Also, it has a rather infamous red-light district. That they probably met in while in town for a conference.
I’ve already promised to go, although I can’t stand Tokyo, and I’m not sure how much fun I can have at a gay bachelor party. But I’ll go for my brother’s sake. I’m also his best mate, which means technically it’s my job to make the arrangements. Jordan’s best man has taken care of it, though. I only need to get on the family plane and enjoy my weekend.
By the time Alessa and I leave the party, she’s teasing me about a bachelor party.
“Okay, but what if you meet my male equal there, and suddenly you don’t want me in the picture anymore?” Good Lord, it’s a good thing I know she’s joking because I can’t believe it otherwise. I have never been truly interested in men like that, and I somehow doubt I ever will be. My brother got all of that attraction, and he can have it.
We’re in the back of my car, heading back to Portland. We’re going straight to my penthouse. I’m texting orders to Vern and a few services so my plans for tonight can go off without a hitch. “That’s not going to happen,” I assure her.
“How do I know that?”
I put my phone down and kiss her. Her rigid posture gradually goes lax beneath my kiss. “Because I don’t know how I could kiss anyone else when I have you by my side.”
It works. She grins, flattered.
I tell my driver to go above the speed limit so we can get home faster. One kiss has me slobbering like a teenager on a first date. I don’t know why Alessa has this damned effect on me, but damnit, she does.
Because she’s new, because she’s exciting. That’s what I tell myself as we enter the Portland city limits. I pull my jacket around me so she can’t tell I’m shivering from both the AC and my desire for her. I don’t want her thinking about that quite yet. Perhaps if she were in a better mood. Right now, though, I need to calm down and focus on her feelings.
Of all the F words in the world, that one must be my least favorite.
“How does dinner on my balcony sound?” I ask on our way up in my private elevator. “I’ve already had it arranged for us when we get there, but we can move it inside if we want.”
“Might be cold outside,” Alessa says.
I press her against the elevator wall, my body overpowering hers, making her mouth open and her eyes glaze over. Ah, yes, she certainly still wants me, doesn’t she?
“I’ll keep you warm, Lessa.”
I meant to say Alessa, of course, but my mouth dropped the A-ball, and now I sound like an idiot. Yet her eyes flutter in my direction, her hands clinging to my jacket.
“Lessa?”
“It’s my name for you,” I’ve decided. “Two syllables are more efficient than one.”
“Three.”
“Excuse me?”
“You mean two are more efficient than three.” Every time she grins, I seize up. Something in my chest stops working properly, and I have to focus on my body to feel normal again. That’s time and attention taking me away from my sweet girlfriend.
Who isn’t so sweet, if you know what I mean.
Now that we’re alone, now that we’re in my place, all I can think about is being close to her. But I restrain myself. I mind over matter my body’s desires. I want her in the right way, at the right time.
First, dinner.
She was right. It’s considerably colder now that the sun is setting, but the view over the river is stunning enough to make it worth it. Lights come on in the surrounding residential skyrises. Pleasure boats come to the docks down on the water. Planes litter the sky, taking off and landing at the international airport. The sun sets behind us, but we still have a gallant view of snowy Mt. Hood that has Alessa snapping a thousand pictures on her phone.
“Can we take a selfie?” she asks.
“A… what?”
She scoots her chair closer to mine. Her phone hovers above us, the camera flipped to the mirror setting. Or so I thought it was until now. The only time I set my phone to that is when I need an appearance check before meeting someone. I didn’t know it was for taking selfies.
“I suppose. You’re not posting it online, are you?”
“I don’t have to. I can keep it on my phone.”
“All right.”
My mug doesn’t need to be plastered all over her Instabooks and Facegrams, or whatever they’re called. In my venture capitalist days, I funded a few social media websites and apps, only to watch them blow up or be acquired by some of my competitors. Since then, I don’t bother.
“Smile!” Alessa’s blooms across her visage like a sunny spring day. I twitch the corners of my mouth, and that’s the best she’s getting out of me. “I said smile, Julianna.”
“I am smiling.”
“Oh, well…” Click! A still of us swipes across the phone screen. “Good enough.” She pulls her phone down and punches buttons until that unflattering picture of us is her background photo. “There! Now we’re a real couple.”
I take my chances with those words in my ears. “Does that mean you’ve forgiven me for this week’s mishap?”
Her smile disappears. Chills claim her shoulders, and I’m there, wrapping my arm around her and nuzzling my nose against her temple. Ah, her hair smells of jasmine and other such flowers. Beneath the shampoo and perfume, I get a whiff of her natural scent. The one that consumes me, makes me want to be closer. We've only been like this twice. I need the third time like I need air.
“I’ve learned to accept that there are some things about you I’ll have to get used to.”
We move inside, where the cold breeze won’t bother us. I don’t turn on any more lights, even though we remain standing by the sliding glass door. “What does that mean?”
“You were being practical. In a most offensive way, but practical. Meeting your family showed me that you were raised to think about these things differently. You’ve apologized.”
“But you still haven’t quite forgiven me.”
“Oh, I’ve forgiven you, Jules. I simply haven’t forgotten yet.”
I pull her into my arms, kissing her hard. “What do I have to do to make you forget?”
Although she responds to my kisses, it’s not with gumption.
This is a good start, though, isn’t it?
“I’ve realized some things, too.” I pull away, the taste of her lips still on mine. “Namely, that there is no point to this relationship if we’re not into it. If you don’t want me as much as I want you, I can let you go, Lessa.”
“What?”
Is that panic in her voice? While that wasn’t what I pursued, I don’t mind accepting it. “You heard me. If you’re too angry at me or treating this like a contract so you take advantage of the situation, then I’m not interested. I want you to want me as much as I yearn for you.”
“You make it sound like those things are different.”
Aren’t they? A woman desires with her heart and soul, yes? But it’s more than that.
“I’ll be as accommodating as you want me to be, Lessa.” My hand curls around her wrist. She looks away from me, chomping on that lip like she does every time she’s wrestling with her thoughts. “Because I want you in my life. Don’t you get that? I’m jumping through these hoops. I’m taking you to meet my parents. I’m doing everything as legally as possible because I don’t want any obstructions between us. I want you to want me as unabashedly as I yearn for you.”
“You’ve only known me like that for a week!”
I’m overwhelming her, so I back off. “Maybe a week is all I need.” I lower my voice. “I have something I want to show you in my bedroom.”
She doesn’t crack a joke as she follows me into the other room. As soon as I open the door to my private suite, I’m pleased to find everything I ordered already out.
“Ju… lianna?”
Alessa stands beside me, gobsmacked.
I step forward. On the far end of my bed is a white, lacy negligee in Alessa’s size. The moment my personal shopper sent me the picture, I knew I had to have it for my girlfriend.
“Let’s start with you putting this on.” I ignore the tools and implements neatly lined up on my bed. “We’ll go from there.”
“Holy shit, Jules. This is…”
“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. We won’t do anything too intense tonight. I merely want to introduce you to some flavors beyond sweet vanilla.” Don’t get me wrong. Vanilla ice cream is my favorite of all flavors, and there’s something to be said for going with the old standard and knowing exactly what you’ll get.
I don’t always want vanilla, though. Sometimes I want dark chocolate. Sometimes I want tarty strawberry. Sometimes I want nuts and candy, and sometimes I want sticky syrup that gives me a rush I never asked for.
“I want you to see everything we have at our disposal. You’re in charge of tonight’s choreography.” I clear my throat. “Except for the lingerie. Change into it. Now.”
She drops her purse with a start. “In front of you, or in the bathroom?”
I face her. “Strip for me.” My desk chair beckons, so I go to it, sitting with a satisfied sigh. “Seduce me, Alessa, and I’ll seduce you right back.”
“Um…” Her eyes continue to linger on some of the smaller materials. When she glances at the ebony nipple clamps, she makes a sour face. Guess we’re not using those tonight. “I knew you wanted to do some kinky stuff, madam, but…”
“That’s a good start,” I say with a chuckle.
“What?”
“Calling me madam. Every time you do that, I get more excited.”
“Do you?” A battle rages within her. One side of her wants to comply, to give in to the moment and enjoy herself, enjoy me. The other side is telling her to slap me and run. I must be careful if I don’t want to scare her away. “Do I do that to you?”