Chapter 18
Alessa
Training me.
I know what she means. Everything has been couched in gentler terms for me to digest, but she’s talking about some Dom/sub shit with a side of BDSM.
And I don’t care.
I’m drunk on her. She could push my face into her bed and do whatever she wanted with me right now. She could tie my hands behind my back and have me in any way she wants…
Thoughts that I should care infiltrate my mind. They’re not welcome. Since when did I expect anything else? Since when have I wanted anything else?
I see right through her. Julianna Marcon knows how to carefully choose her words and actions, even during sex. She’s seducing me. Again. I was angry at her, and now she’s going to fuck the anger out of me until I’m slobbering all over her lap.
Don’t I know that this is what everything’s been leading up to?
“Pick two, Alessa.” She helps me stay upright in front of the bed, her clothes slowly peeling off as she presses against me, firm and electric. I’m so ready that I can take on anything.
But I only want her, of course.
My eyes are drawn to two implements above the others. I languidly point to them, hoping she’ll do something.
Instead, she makes me bring the leather handcuffs to her.
So innocuous, right? Of course, I go for something as simple and easy as those. I assume she’s going to cuff my hands behind my back and straightforwardly take me. Yeah, right.
She’s going to make me get on all fours on her bed and keep my hands close together. She doesn’t even handcuff me to the headboard.
My wrists are bound together beneath me. I can barely bend my elbows. I definitely can’t easily reach in front of me.
“Open wide, Alessa.” There were two different-sized ball gags set out. I chose the smaller one. I wasn’t expecting such soft material that my teeth are in no danger of breaking or chipping when I bite down as hard as I can. It also doesn’t choke me, although I certainly can’t speak clearly. Enough to yell my safe word, but the point is to shut me up outside of some intense groaning and muffled crying in pleasure.
My knees press into the bed, legs spreading wider to accommodate the woman behind me. She’s naked. Not the first time I’ve been with her naked—we’ve showered together, after all—but it’s the first time we’ve had sex totally naked.
It’s enough to make me even wetter. I’m ashamed, a little. What kind of woman am I, anyway? Bound and gagged in a wealthy woman’s bed with her taking total control.
Damn it, I want it! I want her to take me in that controlled yet animalistic way she commands so well! I’ve never had anyone this way before. What a fucking way to experience it!
“It’s not going to be as easy as before.” Her hands curl around my shoulders, and her voice makes love to me before she enters me again. “I’m not going to take you until we explode, Alessa.” She licks her thumb and tucks my loose hair behind my ear. My head tilts in her direction. I don’t mean to do it, but I moan onto the ball gag, begging her with sex-laden eyes to do it, do me, do everything. “I’m going to train you to react exactly how I want you to when we have sex. Because sometimes all I want at the end of the day is to take you like this.”
She enters me, sending me forward with a loud, muffled cry that I can’t control.
“That’s right.” Julianna’s voice is strained from the sensations we give each other, but she hasn’t completely lost control like I have. She holds my hips, keeping me exactly where she wants, her body slowly moving against me. It’s torture because all I want to do is give in! “Be still. Control yourself.”
My whole body needs it. It needs the movements, the sounds, the intoxicating smells of sex. I need Julianna to take me like she would take the woman she loves or the woman she’s only using for one night. Either one. I just need it.
“If you can show me that you can respond to my commands, then I’ll let you have your pleasure. It’s a reward system with me, my lovely.” She grabs a chunk of my hair and yanks my head up. The ball gag slips deeper into my mouth. Good thing, because I’m yelping in surprise. Do you know what it’s like to get your hair pulled while your hot, dominating girlfriend has you pinned? Have I mentioned the word torture yet? “If we can establish a flow with our lovemaking, then we’ll have all sorts of fun in the future.”
I see right through you, Julianna! Using nice words you know this woman wants to hear!
“I meant what I said earlier about you making me feel like I have no choice but to take you. So, let’s start with something simple. I want you to moan.”
What?
“Go on, Alessa. Do it. Don’t think too hard about it. Just react.”
I’m sure this is something I’ve done a dozen times since we first had sex, but it’s not something I’m wholly aware of now. Moan? Damnit. Knew I should have spent half my life practicing for this blessed moment.
Here goes nothing. The most pathetically desperate moan I can conjure at a whim.
“Lovely. You were doing that in the chair earlier. But it’s different in this position.” One hand grabs my ass while the other stays on my hip. “If you need inspiration, let me know.”
I mumble on the ball gag, “What inspiration?”
“Shh, shh. Unless you want me to stop, don’t say anything but sweet things, Lessa.” Julianna pulls my hair away from my neck. “And spanking you will make you moan.”
Spanking! Shit!
“Now, do it again. You’re convincing me to keep fucking you, Alessa. If I’m not impressed, we’ll have to start all over again.”
Sad thing? I believe she can last that long.
“Moan, Lessa.”
I imagine that disappointing her means never getting to feel like this again. Even the weirder aspects, like the handcuffs and ball gag, are adding to the moment right now, and I don’t want to lose the crazy sensations eating me alive. So, I’ll do it, Julianna. I’ll kneel on your bed and moan for your amusement and arousal.
Damnit, it’s not easy.
I lack strength. I lack experience. I lack the ability to give her exactly what she wants when she asks for it. I don’t know how to make her come simply by moaning. I don’t even know what it feels like, yet. I suppose that’s my reward. Huh.
Reward system, right?
Yeah. I wanna know what it feels like. I want to know. I want that level of intimacy with a woman who doesn’t likely give it out that often. If she’s going to be my girlfriend, even if only on paper, then I want that between us.
“Oh, Lessa…” I know I’m doing too much in too short of time. But what else can I do? I’m learning, here! Give me the chance, Julianna, and I’ll figure out how your mind and body tick. What do I do to make you need me? Fuck me? Lose yourself with me?
I’ll find out. Trial and error are admirable, right?
“Lessa …”
I’m the one doing all the work here, and that’s all she can say?
I feel so… vulnerable. So submissive. So needy for sex that she can bind and gag me on my knees and I’m still backing my pussy up on the contents of her bottom-bed drawer and attempting to make her come from that alone. Is this what she wants me to feel? Like I’m the desperate one? Shit, shit, shit.
I am desperate. I’m her dirty little slut who can’t get enough of her sexual machinations. All it took was one touch from her and I handed over my virginity on a dirty platter covered in my lack of shame. This is what I get. This is what happens when you reach the age of twenty-one and are still a virgin. You’re horny as shit and quivering for a fantastic lay, but you’re too stupid to know what to do!
This debasement, this submissive sensation driving me to serve this dominant woman with my aching pussy…
I like it.
I’m getting off on it.
I love it.
I’m gonna come from it. The more I slowly fuck myself on her strapless toy, knowing that it pleasures her too, the more I naturally moan… and the more I want to orgasm. But she told me not to. She told me to wait until she told me to. If I fail, we start all over again, or… I don’t get it at all.
So much pressure for what I want!
“Shit, baby…” She’s not the first person to call me baby, but Julianna is the first to make me like it. “You are the hottest woman to ever grace my bed.” Julianna gently thrusts. I want to believe she doesn’t know that she’s doing it, that I’m making her fuck me without realizing it, but I’m not that conceited. “You want it, don’t you? You want me to fuck you like you’re my greatest girlfriend.”
I whimper on my gag. Only now do I realize my tongue has been caressing the underside like I would lick her pussy.
“Do you like this, Lessa? Do you like what we’re doing?”
I nod. Julianna pulls harder on my hair, my fingers pointing into her bed to help me keep my balance. She’s so deep, so full inside of me that I don’t even unleash a cry of unbridled pleasure. It’s a moan so deep and melodic that it echoes in my chest. I feel it in my stomach, the kind of ache that keeps begging her to fuck me.
“My naughty virgin wants it, doesn’t she?” Her other hand caresses my cheek before lightly smacking my ass. I jerk forward again, the surprise, the blip of pain shooting through me.
Oh, God! It’s exactly what I wanted! What’s wrong with me?
“I haven’t even touched your clit yet. Maybe I don’t have to. Maybe you’re so naughty you don’t need me to touch it.”
Her words fuel my strength. I’m fucking her like I don’t know how to do anything else. My hips, free to do as they please with one of her hands in my hair and the other smacking my ass, thrust back against hers and grind into her skin.
Fuck me, madam.
I don’t question the thoughts in my head. I want to call her Madam. I want to know how far she can push me when we’re in her bedroom. I want to explore every corner of this aspect of my sexuality as I can – with her. She’s my girlfriend. She’s my fucking woman. And I’m her inexperienced blossom she’s deflowering one nasty night at a time.
Julianna snaps.
I’ve got her.
“You like it when I talk dirty,” she growls into my ear. My hands are still clutched to my chest, but I’m up on my knees, spread across her lap and wrapped in her arms as she hammers the strap-on into me. Julianna covers my mouth and grabs my breast. My moans bypass the ball gag and hit the palm of her hand; my nipple hardens between her fingers. Down below, I’m trapped across her lap, a willing thrall to the way she splits me in two and reminds me that no one else on this earth could have given me this experience. I’m open so wide. I’m so easy. I’m so loose. I don’t know which fluids are mine and which are hers. All I know is that her snarls of pleasure are blowing in my ear and I’m so close to coming that I don’t know if I can wait for her command.
I don’t want to fail.
“Lessa!” My name has never sounded so beautiful as when she shoves me back down onto her bed and takes me. I brace myself. I don’t even escape into pleasure, because I want to focus on what’s happening right here, between us. Her drive is relentless. I keep opening up more and more, yet she continues to explore me, growing closer to the brink of orgasm.
Everything is hard and hot inside of me. I need to come. Shit, do I need to come!
“Do it.” Her knuckles are white from holding me down so hard. I don’t want this to end. I don’t want to be anyone but the obedient lover of one of the city’s most powerful women. I want to see this side of her every day – and I want to show her this submissive side of myself.
How had she known we were perfect for each other?
“Do it, Lessa!”
I moan until I see nothing but stars in my eyes.
I’ve never heard a woman thunder like this before. I barely register it, honestly. I know Julianna is losing her mind, but so am I. My climax is here. My whole body is alive and shutting down at the same crazy time. All I want is her.
And she is what I get.
I wasn’t a virgin before, obviously, but I’m definitely not now. This woman has spent every last drop of energy she has on me, as I’ve begged for.
Who knew that two weeks ago I’d be in this situation? That I’d be coming on my boss’s bed and so damn happy to have her use me?
We slow, exhaustion taking us over. I’m completely flat on my stomach. Julianna is on top of me, still slowly thrusting into me as she slowly sighs herself into post-orgasmic oblivion.
“Fuck, baby.” Her arm wraps around me and brings me closer to her chest. I’m too tired, too overwhelmed from that round to react. “That was incredible.”
I don’t know what’s happening. All I know is that I’m crying.