Chapter 30
Riley
“You’ll be wrinkled like a prune if you stay in that tub much longer.”
I cracked open an eye and grinned at Deacon. “Worth it.”
He laughed and leaned over to kiss my forehead. “What do you want for lunch?”
“You don’t have to make me lunch,” I said as I sat up in the tub. “Are you finished working?”
He nodded and took my hands, helping me stand and then step out of the tub. He wrapped a gloriously fluffy towel around my body and brushed his mouth against mine. “I finished reviewing the numbers and chatted with Richard. He and the team will work on them and should have draft statements to me by the end of the week.”
“That’s great,” I said.
“It is. We’re on track for finishing on time,” he said. “Once year end is done, I’ll help Aiden find a new CFO and move on to my next contract.”
“What if you can’t find a new CFO before your next job?” I asked.
“I will,” he said confidently. “I haven’t told Aiden this, but I’m recommending Richard for the job. Richard thinks he doesn’t have enough experience, which he doesn’t, but he knows this company inside out, and he’s damn smart. He can handle the job.”
I hid my relief. I liked Richard a lot and worked well with him, and having Richard as the CFO would make my job much easier.
Deacon kissed me again. “I’ll make us something light for lunch. I left one of my shirts on the bed for you to wear. Get dressed and come downstairs, okay?”
“Okay,” I said. “Thank you, Deacon.”
He patted my ass through the towel and left the bedroom. I dried off and slipped Deacon’s t-shirt on before staring out the French doors into the backyard. It was snowing hard, and the wind still blew fiercely. As much as I enjoyed my Saturday with Deacon, I needed to leave before dark. Driving here last night in the dark in the middle of a blizzard had been terrifying, and I had no desire ever to do it again.
I headed toward the bedroom door and out into the hallway. I trailed my fingers along the wall as I walked slowly toward the stairs. God, I loved it here. It was peaceful, calm, and a million times better than my apartment. I’d stay here forever if I could.
Get your head out of the clouds, girl. Deacon doesn’t want a relationship with you. He was willing to pay for you to stay the night and have sex with him, remember?
Dull hurt flashed through me. I hated being upset by Deacon’s lack of real feelings for me. He’d been clear he wasn’t looking for a relationship, and just because he did nice things for me, like buy me glasses, didn’t mean he wanted more.
I’d spent the last two years alone because I couldn’t find a man who wouldn’t take advantage of me, and now I’d finally found him, and he just… wasn’t interested in more than sex. That dull hurt was now sharp and painful and digging at my chest, but I couldn’t blame Deacon. It wasn’t his fault I let myself fall in love with him. It wasn’t his fault that I’d almost blurted out last night that, for the first time, I finally had someone who actually loved me.
That would have been horribly embarrassing. Not just because Deacon didn’t love me but also because I made it sound like not even my parents loved me. They did love me. They just had a different way of showing it.
“Riley?” Deacon stood at the bottom of the stairs. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” I walked down the stairs. “Have you changed your mind about lunch?”
“No,” he said. “You were taking a while, so I wanted to check on you.”
“I got lost,” I said solemnly. “But your bedroom alone is bigger than my entire apartment, so you can’t blame me for my poor house navigational skills.”
He laughed and tapped me lightly on the butt. “C’mon, smart ass. The soup is getting cold.”
* * *
“So,what do you think so far?” Deacon’s grin was eager and adorable.
“I like it,” I said.
Deacon paused the show, his grin still eager… still adorable. “Have you figured out who the killer is yet?”
“Not yet, but we just finished episode three,” I said.
He grinned at me. “I’m very confident I know who the killer is.”
“Well, la-dee-dah for you,” I said, and he laughed so hard that he nearly spilled his mug of hot chocolate.
I couldn’t help but giggle. I’d been surprised when Deacon had brought me to the family room after lunch to binge watch the latest season of his favourite television show instead of fucking me on the couch like I’d assumed. He’d made hot chocolate, wrapped a cozy blanket around us and urged me to cuddle with him while we watched the show.
It had been very… domestic, and my rapidly falling heart had soaked up the attention even as my brain rattled out increasingly alarmed warnings that Deacon was only being nice.
“Are you sure you’re enjoying it?” Deacon asked. “I don’t watch much TV, but this is my favourite show, and I’ve been waiting for weeks to carve out some time to start the new season.”
“I’m sure,” I said. “It’s a good show, Deacon.”
“It’s the best show,” he corrected me before reaching for the remote. “Let’s start episode four.” Before he could hit the play button, I pushed the blanket back and untangled myself from his warm, lean body.
“That sounds nice, but I have to go,” I said as I stood.
He scowled, standing up and following me into the kitchen. I rinsed my mug and put it in the dishwasher before smiling at him. “Thank you, Deacon. I had a great time.”
“Then you should stay,” he said, pulling me into his embrace and kissing my throat. “It’s not even four o’clock. Stay with me, good girl.”
I was tempted, especially when I felt the thick ridge of his erect cock pressing into my stomach. But it hadn’t stopped snowing all day and was snowing even harder now. My anxiety deepened just thinking about how bad the roads would be.
Deacon cupped my breast, his fingers brushing my hardening nipple. “You should stay. We haven’t even had sex yet today.”
“We had sex this morning,” I said, my voice breathless as he rubbed that beautiful dick against my hip.
“Doesn’t count.” He kissed down my throat.
“How does that not count?” I arched into his touch when he squeezed my breast.
“It was four in the morning when you woke me up with your horniness. I was half-asleep while we fucked, so it doesn’t count,” he said.
I laughed. “One, you woke me up with your cock poking at my butt, and two, you were awake enough to refuse to let me climax until after I sucked your dick.”
“How will you learn to deep throat me if you don’t practice?” he said before pinching my nipple. “Stay with me, baby. Please. I need to be buried in your sweet pussy again.”
I glanced out the window at the falling snow, but how could I resist that? I couldn’t… not when I wanted his cock just as desperately.
“I’ll stay, but it needs to be a quickie,” I said. “I have to leave in half an hour at the latest.”
“Why? Do you have a date or something?” His voice was casual, but his body had tensed.
“No, of course not,” I said. “I just…”
God, I did not want to look weak yet again in front of him.
“What?” he asked.
“Driving in the dark last night was scary, and now it’s still snowing, and the roads will be even worse. Marvin has winter tires, but they’re a few years old and not… super grippy.” I smiled at him and kissed his chest. “I don’t want to drive home in the dark. I know I’m being a giant chicken about it, but -”
“You’re not,” he said. “And when I said stay with me, I meant for the night.”
“Seriously?” I leaned back to stare at his face. “You want me to stay the night again?”
“I do.”
“Then I will,” I said.
Oh, what that smile of his did to me. He hugged me hard, and I buried my face in his throat, shoving away my traitorous thoughts about Deacon wanting more. But they kept intruding, kept pointing out how we’d spent the afternoon cuddling, not fucking, and he’d just asked me to spend the entire weekend with him and -
“I’ll text the sisters and book you for this afternoon,” Deacon said. I froze against him as he kissed my neck. “Do you want me to book an overnight session?”
“No,” I said, my voice hoarse. “I don’t want you booking for today.”
He tried to step away, and I clung to him, hugging him hard so he wouldn’t see the stupid tears catching in my lashes.
“I’ll book one for tomorrow, then,” he said. “So you won’t miss out on your usual Sunday payment.”
I swiped a hand across my cheeks, catching the tears that had escaped.
“No need,” I said, making my voice light and cheerful. “I’d like us to hang out this weekend as friends.”
“I’d like that too,” he said after a pause.
“Great.” I released him and stepped back, keeping my face turned away. “I need to use the washroom and then what do you say we watch episode four?”
“Okay,” he said. “Riley, are you good?”
“I’m great. Will you make me another hot chocolate?” I asked as I left the kitchen.
“Sure,” he said.
I made a weird little wave of thanks and practically stampeded down the hallway to the bathroom. I shut the door and locked it, leaning against it as the hot tears washed down my cheeks. Christ, what was wrong with me? I was in love with the guy who paid me to have sex with him. I was pathetic.
I took a few deep breaths before studying myself in the mirror. My face was pale, and my eyes too bright, but I splashed water on my face and practiced smiling until it looked normal.
Forget how foolish you are for falling in love with him. You shouldn’t have turned down his offer of a play session for tomorrow. You’re giving it to him for free when your mother needs your help.
I sighed and closed my eyes. It had been a mistake, but I would send Friday night’s payment plus my grocery money to my parents. I’d have to be creative with my meals and eat smaller portions until my next paycheque, but I wouldn’t starve to death or anything.
So, now you’ll go hungry just to pretend that Deacon wants you for something more than sex?
No, that wasn’t it. Deacon had made it more than clear that our relationship was transactional, but my bruised and broken heart demanded something in return for accepting I would never have his love. Continuing to pretend this weekend meant as much to Deacon as it did to me was the best I could give it.