Chapter 23
ALEX
The drive to Grace’s apartment seemed to take years. Alex drummed his hands impatiently on the steering wheel and tried to take a shortcut but ended up getting caught in San Valentino’s midafternoon traffic.
Maybe that was a good thing. He still needed to plan what to say to Grace.
He ran through about a hundred variations of “I’m so sorry.
Please forgive me” before realizing that nothing he could possibly say would be enough.
He’d hurt Grace badly. And not just once, but many times.
He was an untrusting jerk, and she was the mother of his children and the woman whom he loved—because he did love her. He could see that now.
He should have seen it before.
After what felt like hours, he finally pulled into Grace’s parking lot and hurried inside. He took the stairs two at a time up to her floor and knocked on the door. No one answered.
Alex could have kicked himself. He hadn’t even considered that Grace might not be home. He’d only thought about how desperately he needed to see her, to make things right. He knocked once more, and relief flooded him when the door swung open.
Grace wore a pair of leggings and an oversized T-shirt that showed the curve of her baby bump. She looked tired, and when she saw Alex, she folded her arms across her chest, her expression closed.
“What are you doing here? I thought we agreed that you were out.”
“I need to talk to you,” Alex said. “Please. It’ll just be a few minutes.”
“I can’t.” The anger on Grace’s face broke a little to reveal the vulnerability beneath. “Please go, Alex. I can’t do this again.”
“This is different. I promise.”
But Grace shook her head. “I’m sorry, but I can’t believe that.”
“Please.” Alex took a tiny step closer. “I’m here to apologize. I know that you didn’t take the laptop.”
Grace tilted her head.
“Do you?”
“Yes. I do. I should never have believed it was you.” Alex paused. “And there’s more.”
“Okay.” Grace sighed. “I may regret this… I’m sure I will regret this, but come in. You have two minutes.”
Alex stepped into her familiar apartment. Her ocean scent wafted over him, making his heart ache. Grace went into the living room and sat on the couch, her hands resting on her stomach. He followed her.
“I’d like to stand, but I’m exhausted,” she said. “Sit.”
Alex did.
“You’re down to a minute and a half.”
“I—” Alex nodded. He couldn’t blame Grace for not trusting him after everything he’d done, even though it was almost impossible to explain everything in only two minutes.
“First, I am so, so sorry. Today, at work, I found an email chain between Louisa and Patrick. They planned the laptop theft together—or Patrick planned it, and Louisa went along. Patrick framed you. He must have planned everything, including the lawsuit, beforehand. I understand now that you never did anything wrong, and I am so sorry for ever thinking otherwise.”
Grace stared at him. He’d thought she’d be relieved or happy at this news, but her expression was blank.
It made sense. She’d always known her innocence, and she’d given Alex many chances to believe her.
He never had. So, the fact that he now knew she hadn’t done anything wrong wasn’t a relief, just an expectation.
“Thirty seconds.”
“I should have believed you,” Alex said. “I should have talked to you. I made a huge mistake—the biggest of my life. The kind of mistake I may never be able to fix. And I have no excuse. I was an idiot.”
“That’s true.” Grace paused. “Ten seconds.”
“I could spend all day telling you how sorry I am,” Alex said in a rush.
“I could tell you that Patrick would stoop to anything to sabotage me and that I’m sorry you were caught in the middle.
I could say that I’ll never fall for anything like that again.
But the truth is, none of that matters. My company doesn’t matter—not compared to you. ”
Grace looked at him, her head tilted to the side. “Go on.”
Alex began to hope that he might have a chance. At least she was listening to him, even though he must be out of time.
“There’s something I couldn’t admit, not even to myself. Work, without you, feels hollow. Life feels hollow. I rely so much on my company because I felt like I needed it—but I don’t. I could lose MatchupNow today, and I’d survive. But if I lost you, I wouldn’t.”
Alex hesitated. He wanted to take Grace’s hands, but he knew he shouldn’t. Her expression was still unreadable.
“I love you, Grace,” he said. The words hung in the air between them.
“I want to believe that,” Grace said softly after a long pause. “But how can I? After everything, how can I know that this is real, and that you won’t change your mind? The way you’ve treated me isn’t how you treat someone you love.”
“I know.” Alex’s stomach twisted. “And I will never forgive myself for that. I know that I need to earn back your trust. I know that won’t be easy. But I’ll work on it every day, for as long as it takes.”
Grace bit her lip. “And the babies?”
“I want them, too. I want our family.” Alex moved a little closer to her.
“I want to rock our babies to sleep with you. I want to feed them mashed peas and laugh when they throw them on the floor. I want to come up with family traditions and play games and go on vacations. And I want to be with you, Grace. Not just as coparents. Not just as colleagues. I want to be with you. I want to hold your hand when we walk and kiss you every day and fall asleep with you in my arms every night. I know I messed up. I know I probably don’t deserve a second chance. But can you give me one anyway?”
They were close enough that Alex could reach out and take Grace’s hands. He did, and she didn’t pull away. She just looked at him as he squeezed her hands and rubbed his thumbs over her fingers. She caught her breath. Her lips were slightly parted.
Then, abruptly, she pulled her hands away and stood. Grace paced around the living room, her hands clasped together. Then she turned to Alex.
“I’m worried,” she said softly. “I lost my father when I was young. I never want our kids to lose their father. I never want you to walk out on them. And I couldn’t bear it if you walked out on me again, either.”
Alex stood and crossed to her, stopping just in front of her.
“Grace,” he said, her name an incantation on his lips.
“I love you. How can you trust that I’ll never hurt you again?
I’ll tell you. Because hurting you would be just as painful as hurting myself.
More painful, even. My life without you is empty.
You are my sunshine and my stars. You are my light.
You are the one I can never live without.
And when our kids arrive, they’ll be just as important to me. They already are.”
He stepped forward once more and took her hands again. This time, she didn’t pull away.
“You are my love,” he said. “You are everything to me. And I’m sorry for any day I didn’t see that before.
Whatever it takes to prove myself to you, I’ll do.
Would you like me to go out on the street and announce that we’re together?
I will. Would you like me to sell MatchupNow? I will. Just tell me.”
Grace looked at him with those big green eyes, and a long moment passed.
Too long. Alex worried that he’d missed his chance.
Maybe he was too late. Maybe Grace could never forgive him for pushing her away not once, but twice.
He wouldn’t be able to blame her. In an instant, a terrifying future flashed before Alex’s eyes: him, alone, without family, without love.
And Grace, always out of reach, never to be his.
Their kids, out of reach. The life he’d never dared to dream of, out of reach.
Alex had always thought that his company was what he needed—his company and the financial security it brought.
But now, he saw more clearly than ever that work was only meant to be a stepping stone, a way to provide financial security for a family he loved.
A way to provide for a partner. Kids. A future.
If he spent his whole life doing nothing but working, he’d miss out on what really mattered.
Maybe he already had.
Maybe Grace was slipping away, even now, even as he held her hands.
Then, Grace’s pink lips parted, and she spoke.