Chapter 30
Chapter
Thirty
He hadn’t meant to kiss her.
One moment, she was standing in front of him, her silver eyes blazing with fury and power—and the next, his hands were on her face, dragging her to him.
He kissed her like a drowning man breaking the surface.
Desperate. Starving. Every scrap of restraint he’d clung to these past weeks snapped in two as her mouth parted beneath his.
She tasted like lightning, the vibrant tang of her magic bursting across his tongue.
The shadows howled their approval, wrapping around them both and tangling them together.
Her hands slid across his chest, greedily exploring what she’d tried so hard not to stare at.
The sound she made when he pressed her back against the cold stone wall shredded the last of his control.
He lifted her easily, her skirts tangling around them, her warmth pressed flush to his body like she had always belonged there.
“Loren—” her gasped exclamation cut off in a moan as his lips dropped to her throat.
“Araya,” he mimicked, nipping at her soft skin. “Goddess, ael’sura. Did you actually believe I didn’t want you? That I wouldn’t want you without the bond? You’ve been driving me absolutely fucking insane, ael’sura.”
He came back to her lips, swallowing her ragged laugh. Her fingers knotted in his hair, dragging him closer. Power roared around them, through them, her light colliding with his darkness until he couldn’t tell where he ended and she began. He was drowning in it. Drowning in her—
Until wrenched her mouth from his.
Her head snapped back, slamming into the stone wall hard enough that Loren swore, reaching out to cradle her the back of her head. But she shoved at him, cold rushing in between them as she fought her way free of his arms.
“Don’t—” her voice cracked, her knees buckling as he let go. She leaned against the wall, tugging at her tangled skirts with trembling hands. “Stop. Just stop.”
Loren froze, shame crashing over him like icy water.
She was his mate. He was supposed to protect her, not take advantage of her weakness.
Whatever slim chance he’d had with her, he had already ruined by not telling her the truth when he had the chance.
And he’d still grabbed her—kissed her. Had she even wanted him to?
Or had she only given in because of the bond thrumming between them?
“Araya, I—”
She cut him off with a raised hand, her cheeks flushed as red as her hair. “I’m not leaving because I want to,” she said, brushing her fingers over her swollen lips. “I’m leaving because staying here isn’t a choice. No matter how badly I want it to be.”
For a moment, Loren couldn’t breathe. She wanted this—wanted him—but she was going to walk away anyway?
He opened his mouth, ready to fight for this because Goddess help him, didn’t they deserve a single shred of joy after everything they’d both endured?
But she shook her head, her silver eyes glistening with unshed tears.
“Jaxon will never stop, Loren. You know I’m right. He’ll come here and destroy everything you have left.” She shook her head, her breath hitching on the sob she wouldn’t let out. “You can’t let that happen, Loren. Not for me. I’m not worth it.”
“Ael’sura—” Loren’s voice broke. Not worth it? She was worth everything. “That’s not true.”
“It is,” Araya insisted. “And if I have to sever the bond and walk straight back into his hands to keep him from using me against you then that’s what I’ll do. I just want to save your people first. Please, Loren. Help me save them.”
Loren stared at her. The bond twisted, agony ripping through his chest like she’d driven a blade into his heart. Even the shadows faltered, their restless whispers fading to silence. One by one, they retreated, relinquishing their grip on her to curl back around his feet like beaten dogs.
He wanted to beg her to stay, to promise her they would find another way—that he would burn the New Dominion to the ground before he let them take her again.
But she was right—Jaxon would never stop.
And if leaving meant protecting every free fae on Eluneth from the horrors of being captured by the Arcanum… what right did Loren have to stop her?
And the only thing saving his people would cost would be both their souls.
“Loren—” her voice wavered, a tear spilling over and sliding down her cheek. “What are you thinking? Say something.”
Loren swallowed hard. “I’m thinking you would have made a wonderful queen, ael’sura.”
She gave him a watery smile. “In another world, maybe.”
“In another world,” Loren echoed. He inclined his head, his heart breaking in his chest. “I’ll meet you in the library tomorrow morning.”
You would help her bind us? The shadows quivered at his feet, their whispers rising in a plaintive chorus.
“You’re actually going to help?” Araya stared at him, her eyes wide like she couldn’t believe it either—but Loren had no fight left. Not when it came to her.
“That was the deal, wasn’t it?” He forced a smile, the shadows curling around his legs like that would prevent them from being ripped away. Their grief surrounded him, a cold storm building in his chest. “You did manage to hit me.”
For a heartbeat she just blinked at him, then a weak laugh slipped past her lips. “I guess I did.”
“I just have one request.” Loren swallowed hard, holding her gaze. “Work with Thorne. Learn everything you can about your magic, even if you never use it again.”
Her brow furrowed. “You don’t want to teach me?”
“Oh, I do.” His mouth twisted, the smile bitter on his lips.
“But I seem to turn every lesson into a disaster. Thorne has more patience than I do. And he’s my best friend.
He’s been my anchor more times than I can count…
and I want you to have someone like that too.
Someone you can lean on when you need to. ”
Araya’s smile wobbled, but she nodded. “Alright. I’ll work with Thorne.”
“Thank you.” Lorne let out the breath he’d been holding even as the shadows hissed their displeasure. Thorne would keep her safe. Even when he couldn’t.
“Well,” a familiar voice drawled from the doorway. “I suppose I should be flattered. But what are the two of you doing out here in the damp?”
Loren started, his attention snapping to Thorne as his best friend crossed the courtyard.
His easy tone didn’t fool Loren—however long Thorne had been standing there, he’d seen enough to concern him.
The shadows grumbled at his feet, an incoherent murmur of overlapping voices.
What business was it of Thorne’s what happened between him and his mate—
“The more people who protect her the better,” Loren hissed under his breath, too quietly for Thorne or Araya to hear. Especially people who were willing to protect her from him.
Thorne stopped next to Araya, his gaze flicking over her pale face and the way her hands trembled at her sides. “Are you alright?” he asked gently, reaching out as if to steady her.
The shadows screeched, surging past Loren in a black tide as they lashed out at Thorne. One lashed around his wrist, the ghost of Thorne’s blood blooming over Loren’s tongue as the shadows yanked his best friend off his feet and dragged him across the broken stones.
“Stop!” Loren roared, grappling for control. “He’s not hurting her—”
You cannot give her to him, the shadows howled, their voices splintering and coming back together in a frantic chorus as they fought him. She is yours. Ours. Ours to protect—we will not fail. Not again—not this time—
“Loren!” Araya threw herself between them, wrenching at the shadows as they spread from Thorne’s arm to his chest, crushing him. “Stop!”
He was trying. Godess help him, he was trying. But the harder Loren pulled, the more the shadows tore at him, cold tendrils lashing his skin like whips. They snarled, biting into his arms, his chest, his throat—punishing him for holding them back.
But they wouldn’t fight her.
They recoiled at her touch, shrinking away as she dug her fingers beneath their coils and yanking them off Thorne one by one. His friend sucked in a ragged, gasping breath, but before Loren could move the shadows lunged again, their fury boiling over.
The would not let him take her from them.
A shield blazed to life between them, the shadows slamming into the wall of power in a crash of darkness and light that shook him to his bones.
“He is your friend!” Araya shouted, throwing herself over Thorne to shield him with her body as well as her magic. “He would never hurt me, Loren! Call them off!”
The shadows shrieked, unleashing the full force of their anguish on him. Their voices spilt his head, accusations landing like blows as he staggered under the force of their despair. You betray us. Both of you—you would divide us. Leave us. Broken prince. Traitor—
He couldn’t. He couldn’t control them—every breath he took, every beat of his heart was soaked in their pain, drowning him in their grief and rage. So Loren did the only thing he could to protect them both.
He fled, dragging the shadows with him.