Chapter Two #3
Anxious, I chewed my lip. I suddenly wanted this chance for a judgeship more than anything.
While I loved serving the people as district attorney, I could imagine sitting on the bench, writing decisions that could possibly set precedents for years to come.
It would be the culmination of an almost impossible dream.
Something I was told I’d never accomplish as a gay man.
“Sandy. What do you think I should do?”
He wiped his lips with the napkin. “I’d decide if this is what you truly want, and if so, determine the best way you can make it happen. Let me ask you something.”
“Anything, of course.”
“You’re over forty. Have you ever thought of settling down? I’ve been married for as many years, and it’s not as bad as everyone makes it out to be. Having someone who instinctively knows how to make you feel good. A partner to help you make decisions. Keep you from being lonely.”
“I’m not lonely.” I couldn’t let the judge know that I could always find someone to make me feel good for the night, and that was all I needed.
“I think if you ever found yourself in a real relationship with someone who cared about you, you might dispute that. You’d see the difference.”
The server whisked away our plates, and we both declined dessert, opting for coffee.
“So you’re telling me,” I said after taking a sip. “The only way to win this is if I paint myself as a homebody gay man, giving in to the stereotype that all people have to be married to be happy and above reproach?” I arched a brow. “I think we know how often that fails in politics.”
Sandy steepled his fingers. “True. Look, Jaxon, I’m not trying to talk you into anything you don’t want to do.
But the fact remains that you are a minority.
As such, the spotlight shines brighter on you, and everything you do is scrutinized more carefully.
Whether that’s fair or not isn’t the point.
To win, you have to appeal to the majority.
You’re a smart, up-and-coming attorney whose voice we could use on the bench.
It’s important to represent everyone in the community.
” His eyes twinkled. “We just have to get you there.”
Growing up in my little rural area of New York, I could never have dreamed I’d be sitting with one of the most powerful legal minds in the state, listening to him push me into accepting the party nod as the favorite to sit on the bench.
As a gay man, pride swelled, but alongside it came the ugly nibble of fear and self-doubt that I’d have to change who I was to please people.
“I understand what you’re saying.” I finished my coffee. “Who would be my opponent? Have you heard?”
He grimaced. “George Winston.”
I’d thought I had better control of my facial expressions, but Sandy chuckled and reached for the check.
“Exactly. Now you see what I’m talking about. Five kids, soccer coach, and tough on crime in his district. He’s a good attorney and popular with his people, I’ll give him that.”
“He’ll be a formidable adversary…too damn perfect.” I met Sandy’s eyes. “I’m not.”
“No one’s asking for perfection. We’re all human, and we all make mistakes. The point is to rise above them, use them as teachable moments, and make them work for you.”
Outside the restaurant, we shook hands.
“You’ve given me a lot to think about. I can’t tell you how honored I am to even be on your radar.”
“You’re part of the future of this party. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. We’ll be in touch.”
His driver opened the door to the black car that pulled up, and they drove off.
I stood for a second in the sun. At one point in my life, I’d thought I had no future.
Now, I had a chance, but it would mean changing who I was.
I didn’t want a steady partner or a husband. I’d already learned that was a farce.
Back at the office, I stopped by Martin’s desk. “Any messages?”
His sharp eyes missed nothing. “No, but you look like you’ve been wrestling with the devil.”
“Come in with me, please.”
I recited what had happened at lunch, and Martin’s face, as usual, gave nothing away. He’d been the secretary for the DA’s office for over twenty years and had seen almost everything. Nothing shocked the man.
“So, what do you think?” I asked him when I finished.
“I think you’d better take me with you,” he answered with a slight smile.
“And unfortunately, Judge McCourt is correct. Look…he’s not telling you to get married and start a family.
You couldn’t catch up to George, anyway.
But it wouldn’t hurt to find a nice guy, show up to events together, act like you’re in love… ”
I frowned. “Fake a relationship to get elected? Sounds dishonorable.”
“Well, it’s politics.” He snickered. “Anything goes.” The phone rang, and Martin rose to his feet. “It’s not hurting anyone if both of you know the rules. Besides,” he added with glee. “Who knows? You might fall in love.”
I rolled my eyes hard enough to hurt my brain. “You’re hysterical. Now get out of here and do some work,” I ordered with a laugh.
He closed the door behind him, and while I had plenty of cases to keep me busy, I couldn’t stop thinking of possibilities. My phone buzzed, startling me out of my daydreams.
“Counsel on the Ellenbird case on line two. Wants to discuss settlement.”
“Thanks.”
Better get my ass in gear. Plenty of time later to think about my future potential fake boyfriend.