Chapter Seven
Theo
I woke up close to noon, having stayed up half the night, alternating between wanting to confront Jaxon about his ridiculous scheme, listing everything I thought was wrong and terrible about it, and imagining standing by his side at events or the two of us out to dinner at The Cutting Edge and being introduced as his boyfriend.
My head might be scolding me for stupidity, but damn my stupid heart and body. The dreams I had of him were nothing short of filthy. The silly little crush I’d once imagined having on Jet vanished when put up next to the reality of Jaxon.
Having missed breakfast, I heated some canned soup for lunch and made a ham and cheese sandwich.
Chewing without tasting, I stared off into space, my thoughts a jumbled mess.
As strong as I wanted to be—as I knew I should be—part of me ached with emptiness, and I couldn’t help thinking about Jaxon’s proposal.
Night after night spent watching other men freely expressing their love for each other had me longing for the same.
Would it be so wrong to give Jaxon what he wanted?
I set my half-eaten sandwich on the plate and propped my chin in my hands.
He hadn’t lied about his intentions, and maybe, as he’d said, it would help boost me out of my daily, dull existence.
My ridiculous experiment at the hotel bar had failed spectacularly, but now I was being offered another opportunity.
What if we both showed up at the GAINS benefit and he introduced me as his boyfriend?
“How would this even work? How can we fake a relationship without any kind of emotional connection?”
Frustrated, I tossed the rest of my unwanted sandwich into the trash and washed out the soup bowl. Then, I did the laundry and paid some bills just to have something else to focus on. Just another regular day off for me.
My bell rang, and I opened the door to see Harte standing on my porch.
“H-hi.”
“Hey, can I come in? It’s freezing out here.”
I stepped aside, letting Harte into the house. As always, I was made acutely aware of how shabby it looked, especially having visited Harte and Jet’s beautiful home for the occasional dinner or their annual Christmas party.
“You wanna sit? Can I get you a drink or something?”
“Thanks, and no, I’m good. I just thought maybe we could talk?”
He shucked his jacket and settled his bulk on the couch while I took the creaky club chair across from him.
“Okay, sure. About what?”
Harte met my eyes. “Jaxon.”
I grew warm, and my cheeks burned. “Th-there’s nothing to talk about. We had coffee and tea together. That’s all.”
“Jet went to see Jaxon this morning, and he told him about asking you to be his ‘pretend boyfriend.’ ”
I wanted to curl up in a ball.
“The whole thing is ridiculous. I can’t believe he’s telling people.” I averted my eyes.
“I think he hoped to win Jet over to his side. When Jet told me, I first thought Jaxon was out of his mind.”
I forced a laugh. “Y-yeah. It’s ridiculous.”
“But,” Harte continued, “maybe not. Jet doesn’t agree with me on this, but you wanna know what I think?
” At my nod, he leaned forward. “Here’s how I see it.
You know the score, and I think you like Jaxon a little.
” My face flamed, and I ducked my head, hating what I took to be sympathy in Harte’s big blue eyes.
“Hey, Theo. There’s no shame in admitting a crush.
I had one on another player for a long time.
I was on the Kings. He didn’t even know it, but trust me—I understand how you feel. ”
“Y-you did? You do?” This revelation shocked me, and I hoped he’d say more. I always believed someone with Harte’s fame and good looks would have it easy.
“Yeah. I wasn’t out, and neither was he, but that didn’t stop me from wishing something might happen. Even though he’d never given me any indication he was interested.”
I ran my hands through my hair. “I feel so foolish.”
“No. Don’t say that. In matters of the heart, people will say and do things they never dreamed possible. I just want you to know that no matter what you decide, Jet and I are behind you.”
“But pretending to be someone’s boyfriend? Come on, you’ve got to admit that’s silly. Even for me.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Harte’s brow puckered. “ ‘Even for you?’ ”
I huffed out my frustration. “You’re really gonna make me say it?
I’ve tried to date. You and Jet set me up with all those people from your GAINS events, and nothing ever happens.
Now this silly proposition from Jaxon, where he let me know very clearly I’d be his boyfriend in name only.
Why can’t you and Jet see I’m not boyfriend material? Every other guy has.”
Harte’s face softened. “That’s bull. You’re a great guy.”
My lips thinned. “So I’ve heard.”
“We can hear things without listening or believing. You need to believe it and make your own happiness. It’s scary as hell but worth it.” He rose to his feet. “I’ve got to get going to prepare for tonight.” He pulled on his jacket, and I walked him to the door. “You are coming, right?”
“I’m not sure. Not that it isn’t a great cause, but I’m not in the mood for a party, and I’ll only know you and Jet…”
“Dominic and Emerson are coming, and you already know Jaxon will be there. Please come. Even if you’re not interested in what Jaxon proposed, you can still have a good night out with everyone.” He squeezed my arm. “Take the first step.”
With that, he ran down the steps to his car, and drove off.
Cold as it was with the icy wind streaming across my face, I stayed on the porch, hugging my arms around my waist. I had no idea how long I’d been standing there when the blare of a horn startled me and I blinked.
At the light was a deputy sheriff’s vehicle.
“Theo,” Emerson called out from the passenger seat. “What the hell are you doing outside without a coat? It’s freezing.” Giving him a faint smile, I raised a hand and turned to enter my house. “See you tonight.”
His voice floated on the wind before he drove off. I slammed the door behind me and rubbed my hands to warm my numb fingers. Going to the benefit meant hanging out watching the lovebirds, Dominic and Emerson, and avoiding Jaxon Polaris.
“Sounds like a great time. Not.”
I folded my laundry and put it away, then sat in front of the television to watch the news. My mind was anywhere but on the rising prices of groceries until I heard the news anchor talking to the sports reporter.
“You’re looking spiffy tonight, John.”
“Thanks, Monica. I’ve spoken previously about the GAINS organization, which stands for Gay Athletes in Sports.
Harte McKinney, Devlin Summers, and Brody Martin, along with Rip Tremaine and other sports figures, are having a benefit in Appleton Falls.
They provide mental health services to LGBTQ+ youth in sports at high school and college levels, as well as to professional sports figures who’ve come out and need a safe place to speak.
I’ve been invited, so I’ll have some camera action for tomorrow night’s show. ”
There was no escaping it. I paced my living room, listening to the cars pass by on Main Street.
I turned off the television and wandered into my bedroom, where I sat and stared at myself in the mirror hanging over the dresser.
A crack ran down the center from when my father, in one of his angry at the world moods, managed to throw a plate.
“It was nice of Jet and Harte to invite me. I can just go and say hello, stay for a little while, and leave. There’ll be so many people there, I probably won’t even have to see Jaxon.”
An hour later, after showering, I buttoned up one of the new shirts I’d bought, pairing it with my new navy slacks and a pair of loafers I rarely wore, as sneakers were better to stand behind the bar for hours.
I picked up the bottle of cologne Tony’s girlfriend, Ashley, had given me for Christmas last year and sprayed some on. I coughed a little, but with a final brush to my hair, I grabbed my keys and zipped up my jacket.
“Here goes nothing.”
White-knuckling the wheel, I tried to quell my anxiety as I arrived at the benefit, by talking to myself.
“Harte’s a regular guy. He played with some of them, and he’s the nicest person.”
The windows were ablaze with lights, and they’d hired a valet.
“Freddy?”
“Hey, Theo.” His smile flashed bright. “I didn’t know you were coming tonight.”
“W-well, Jet and Harte invited me, but I probably won’t stay long.”
“Why? It’s so cool! Tonight I’ve already met Devlin Summers and Brody Martin, Keller Williams, Ripley Tremaine, and Denis Bouvier.”
He was practically bouncing on his feet. Since I barely knew those names aside from when people talked about them at the bar, it didn’t mean as much excitement for me as it did for Freddy, so I handed him my keys.
“Thanks. Don’t park it too far in the back, so it’ll be easier to take out.”
I walked to the door and rang the bell, and a person answered with a tablet in hand.
“May I have your name, sir?”
“Oh, it-it’s Theo Sweeny.”
After consulting her screen, she nodded. “Welcome. The coat check is to your right.”
“Thank you.”
I made my way there and handed my parka to the man waiting, who gave me a ticket. Turning around, I realized at least fifty people filled the huge open room, and I didn’t recognize a soul.
“Would you care for a glass of champagne, sir?” A server with a tray filled with flutes appeared at my shoulder.
“N-no, thank you.”
She walked away to offer drinks to arriving guests.
“Theo, you came.”
At the sound of Jet’s voice, relief rushed through me, and I turned to receive a big hug. I hesitantly returned it.
“Yeah. For a while.” I licked my dry lips. “Lots of people.”
“Yeah, this is about the max we can fit. Have you met anyone yet?”
“What? No, I just got here. And I can see I don’t know anyone.”
“C’mon, I’ll introduce you. How about a drink?”
“I’m okay, thanks. And you don’t have to waste your time with me. I can’t stay long.”