ANTONY
Iwake up still groggy, and more than a little hungover. I shuffle across the bed, seeking out Erin’s warm body, but she isn’t there.
That jolts me awake, and I realize with panic what happened the night before.
My mind floods with images -- my lips on hers, my mouth in other places, plunging my cock deep inside her. For a moment my dick twitches, but I push the thoughts aside.
Now is not the time,
I glance around the room, but her clothes are gone, and it doesn’t sound like she’s in the ensuite, so I assume she’s gone back to her room. A good thing too, as I hear the twins heading downstairs for breakfast.
As I’m not due at the restaurant until nine, I will be taking the twins to school, so Erin can go home and have some time to herself, before she has to collect them in the afternoon.
She will then be here for dinner and bedtime, while I’m at the restaurant until around 2 a.m. Thankfully, I get a break between lunch and dinner service.
In the shower, I try to work out how I’m feeling about what happened last night.
My initial reaction is guilt, feeling like I took advantage of Erin and the fact I’m her boss.
But then I remember the look in her eyes when we were in the hallway.
The gaze she gave me wasn’t one of someone reluctantly doing something to please someone else.
She wanted me as badly as I wanted her. Maybe more.
But physical attraction alone isn’t enough of a reason to continue this.
I have no idea if I'm ready to start dating, let alone dating my children’s nanny.
And that doesn’t factor in Erin’s feelings for me.
Sure, it’s clear she’s attracted to me, but that could all be based on looks and my money.
The realities of being with a widowed, single father are much different, and as Erin is five years younger than I am, I’m not sure if that’s what she’s after.
Finally, I decide I will follow her lead. If she shows she’s interested in more, maybe we can see where it goes. But if she doesn't mention it, I will just act like it never happened.
I head downstairs, and into the kitchen, where the twins are eating breakfast. When Erin sees me, she turns away and starts making the children's packed lunches.
“Seeing as you’re taking the twins to school, I’m going to head home and run some errands, if that’s okay? I’ll be back later to pick them up and take care of everything while you’re at work,” she says abruptly. Her message is loud and clear.
We’re not acknowledging what happened last night.
Not wanting to seem pushy, but also wanting to make it clear I’m up for talking about it if she is, I say, “That’s fine. I’ll see if I can pop back later, after the lunch rush.”
“Yeah, I’ll see you later.” Erin dismisses me and turns to Aaron and Elizabeth. After wishing them a good day, and kissing them, she’s out the door without so much as a backwards glance at me.
Yeah, if I had any doubts, the way she leaves confirms it -- Erin isn’t interested in talking about what happened the night before, let alone pursuing a relationship with me.
That’s fine.
I focus my attention on the twins. Due to the long hours I work at the restaurant, I don’t get much time with them, so I relish every opportunity we have to be together, even if it’s just a car ride to school.
“How are you both this morning?” I ask, joining my children at the breakfast bar.
Aaron is dressed in his usual array of bright colors, one sock a bright purple, the other lime green. Elizabeth seems to have abandoned her ‘snake’ braids of the day before, and today her braids are coiled on her head like a crown.
“I’m good,” Aaron says brightly. “Did Erin tell you I read to her and Elizabeth last night?”
Feeling guilty, I say, “No, she didn’t. She’d already gone to bed by the time I got back. But I will talk to her about it later, I promise.”
“Can you ask her about me joining an after-school gym class, too, please?” Elizabeth asks.
Recently, she’s shown more of an interest in gym, and sports, stating it’s her favourite class in kindergarten.
She told me recently she’s training to be an Amazon warrior, like she’s read about in her mythology books.
I secretly think an Amazon is a huge improvement over a Gorgon, but I don’t say anything that might upset my daughter. Least she turns me to stone!
“Yes, I will talk to Erin about you joining an after-school gym class,” I promise, hoping I have a chance to come home between lunch and dinner service.
Even though Erin has made it clear she isn’t interested in a relationship, we still need to do our best for the twins, and I won’t allow any awkward feelings to prevent us from being there for them.
After breakfast, I make sure the twins have everything they need for school, and then load them into the car, which is a feat in itself.
I remember when May fell pregnant with them, and insisted we’d need to sell our Porsche.
I’d been reluctant at the time, but as soon as Aaron and Elizabeth were born, it quickly became clear just how much stuff children need, and that hasn’t gotten easier as they’ve gotten older.
If anything, they now need even more stuff than they did as babies.
Thankfully, Erin is around to keep everything organized. I think I'd go insane without her.
That thought gives me pause. She’s a damn good nanny.
When I hired her, she came with the reputation of the ‘baby whisperer’ and quickly proved that to be true.
Even though the twins were only nine months old when we lost May, they somehow sensed something terrible had happened, and were inconsolable; having trouble sleeping through the night, hardly eating and becoming withdrawn.
Erin worked wonders. Her gentle patience made all the difference, and soon they were in a routine, and I felt comfortable enough returning to work.
As the twins have grown, Erin has again and again proved why she has the reputation of the ‘baby whisperer.’ I credit her for making sure they eat healthy, have varied interests, and live fulfilling lives.
I know we’d be a lot worse off without her.
Which makes me question if pursuing a relationship with her is even the right decision.
She’s already made it clear she doesn’t want to discuss the night before and getting into a relationship would only complicate things.
What if we broke up and I lost the best things to happen to me and the twins?
I’m able to push all thoughts of Erin out of my mind as I get to the restaurant and start preparing for lunch service. When Dale arrives, he’s full of questions about how my date with his cousin Kayla went.
“Why didn’t you tell her about the twins?” I ask, trying not to sound angry with my sous-chef.
“I’m sorry man, I honestly had no idea. We never talked about it,” he replies with a shrug.
“It’s probably something you should mention before setting someone up on a blind date. It was a deal breaker for her.”
“Aww, shit. I’m sorry,” Dale says again.
“It’s cool. Just next time make sure they know about Aaron and Elizabeth first, yeah?” I say, not really meaning I want Dale to set me up on another date. I mostly say it to be polite, but as soon as the words leave my mouth, I realize my mistake.
Dale grins, and says, “It’s cool. I know the perfect girl. My best friend’s sister, Chantelle, works in a day-care place across town, so you know she likes kids.”
“Yeah, maybe,” I say dismissively, busying myself with work. After the disaster with Kayla, I’m not really interested in being set up by Dale again. Then there’s Erin to consider…
Thinking about her again brings all the memories of the night before rushing back, and I once again find myself getting aroused.
Away from Erin and the twins, I can finally admit to myself I’ve always found her attractive.
Tucker even made comments about her hotness when I hired her, though me and Ryan warned him not to try anything.
Not that I think she’d be interested in someone four years younger than her.
Honestly, I never thought she’d be interested in me, either.
The age-gap isn’t huge, only five years, but we just seem at such different stages in life.
I’m widowed, and have twins, and all she’s ever experienced is living in Long Island, and then working for me.
What I really need is someone to talk all this through with, and knowing Ryan found himself in a similar predicament when he started sleeping with my former sous chef, Alicia, I text my brother.
“Hey, I was thinking we could catch up later. Are you free around three? I could bring some food up and we could hang out before dinner service starts.”
A few minutes later, Ryan texts back, “I can always make time for my brothers. See you later.”
I had wanted to pop home and talk to Erin about the twins, but I decide getting some insight on what to do about our relationship first would be a better idea.
When the restaurant calms down after lunch, I let Dale know I’m taking a break, then grab two plates of leftovers and head up to Ryan’s office.
I smirk as I see Alicia leaving, her stomach rounded from pregnancy. That was a surprise. I never imagined Ryan would sleep with someone who works for him, let alone have a baby with them, but well, here we are, and to my amazement my brother actually seems happy. He even smiles now!
“Hey, how are things?” I ask, setting down the plates of food and then settling on the seat opposite Ryan.
“Yeah, things are good. Alicia was just here giving me a report about the new restaurant.”
“Sure, sure,” I tease, and I’m shocked to see my older brother blushing.
“We do work too, I swear,” he insists, then busies himself with the plate of chicken caesar salad.
Before eating mine, I ask, “How’s that working out for you? Given you’re her boss and stuff?”
Ryan smiles around a mouthful of food, and after swallowing says, “We try to keep the two things separate as much as we can. I know it’s unusual, and there was some gossip when we first got together, but she makes me happier than I’ve ever been.”
“It’s worth all the drama then?”
“It is.”
“That’s good to know, because I’ve found myself in a similar situation. I slept with someone I work with.” I keep it vague, so Ryan doesn’t figure out it’s Erin.
“Someone from the hotel?” he asks.
“Yeah,” I say, adding to the lie covering my ass.
“But I thought you were having dinner with Dale’s cousin?”
“I did, it ended badly. She won’t date men with kids. I ended up getting drunk and hooking up with this woman from the hotel.” I relay the story with as much truth as I can without revealing who I slept with.
“And you like her?”
“Yeah. I’ve known her for a while, and realized, I always have. It’s just weird, you know, because of work and stuff.”
“What does she think about it?” Ryan asks.
“We haven’t spoken. She kind of avoided me the morning after and snuck out.” Another lie, but I need to cover my tracks. I haven’t spoken to Erin about my feelings yet, and until I’m sure, I can’t tell anyone else. Not even my brother.
Ryan smirks. “You’re that out of practice?”
“Shut up! I think she was just as weirded out by it as me, but well, I think I want to pursue it. If she does. I just don’t know how.”
“Well, talking to her would be a start,” my brother teases, and I want to smack him. “But take it slow. Me and Alicia kept things secret at first and it actually helped, you know. We got to know each other, and figured out what we both wanted, so it was easier when we went public.”
I consider Ryan’s advice. It isn’t bad, actually.
What’s the point in telling everyone, and facing backlash or gossip, when Erin and I haven’t even spoken about what this is?
Plus, I wouldn’t want to give the twins the wrong impression.
But if we dated in secret, we could get to know each other properly before making it official.