SEBASTIAN
Idon’t see Lana for a few days after our horse-riding date, as she’s busy preparing for the gallery opening. Though she does message me with frequent updates and shows me photos of the new piece she’s working on -- a beautiful landscape of the view from the ridge we visited on our ride.
Seeing the picture brings back memories of our time together, and of course, I can’t stop thinking about making love to her in the forest glade.
But the other thing I can’t get out of my mind is Lana’s words just before we parted: ‘Then please trust me on this. It’s nothing to do with you, and if I could stay I would. When the time is right, I’ll explain everything, but I need you to be patient with me. Can you do that?’
I trust Lana completely … or at least, I used to before she moved to New York. But since she returned, something feels different.
When we were younger, we used to tell each other everything, but since she moved back to East Hampton, I feel like Lana is holding back.
I’m still open about everything and wasn’t afraid to cry in front of Lana after Shadowfax died.
But Lana hardly speaks about her grandmother, or her time in New York.
I want to be patient, and give her time to open up to me, but something at the back of my mind niggles at my brain. What isn’t she telling me?
I try not to overanalyze everything she says or does, and instead focus on the ranch. Since losing Shadowfax, I need to find a reliable replacement.
Hengroen is a good horse, he certainly proved that on my ride with Lana, but he’s just too temperamental to use every day.
Epona is also a good, steady horse, but she’s a little on the older side, and I don’t want to overwork her.
I’d prefer to keep her for the more experienced riders.
Copper is a possibility, she’s young, well-trained, and does well with the regular, everyday trails.
But I’d prefer to have her available for younger riders.
I know I will never replace Shadowfax, but I need another horse I can depend on like I did with my gelding.
I call some connections, and make appointments to visit other local ranches, as well as the one further out the way, in North Carolina.
Tucker is currently there for a surfing contest, so I arrange to fly to North Carolina, meet my brother, view some horses, and then we can both drive home together.
Yes, it’s an over 1,200-mile round trip, but I know Ryan and Antony are worrying about our youngest brother, and I can afford to take a trip right now, but they can’t.
When Lana calls me one evening, I let her know my plans.
“Will you be back for the gallery opening?” she asks, sounding panicked.
“I will,” I promise her. “Don’t worry.”
She lets out a sigh of relief. “Okay, well then, have a good time and stay safe.”
“I will. I’ll call you every night.”
“I can’t wait,” Lana replies, her voice practically a purr.
Since she’s been busy with work, and we haven’t had a chance to see each other, we’ve made sure to have regular, nightly calls.
Recently, those calls have turned kinky, with Lana and I telling each other all the things we’d be doing if we were together.
She’s even sent me some risqué pictures I have hidden away on my phone in a secret folder.
I can’t wait to hold her in my arms again, and my brain starts coming up with ideas of things we can do together once the gallery is opened.
But first, I need to see some horses, and make sure Tucker isn’t causing mayhem in North Carolina.
I start with the local ranches, and there are a couple of promising geldings and one mare that might be suitable.
I tell Corey, the owner of the ranch Southampton, that I’m visiting a ranch in North Carolina, but promise if I don’t find anything better there, I will buy the five-year-old roan gelding named Chester from him.
The following day, I leave East Hampton early to catch my flight from La Guardia, New York, as it’s a two-and-a-half-hour flight from New York to Charlotte. I arrive in North Carolina just before lunch, and thankfully, Tucker is at the airport waiting for me.
“Hey man, how’s things?” he asks as we make our way out of the airport. To save time, I’ve only brought an overnight bag, so I have nothing to check in or out.
“Good thanks, Tuck. How about you? How did the surfing contest go?”
My younger brother grins, his eyes sparkling with mischief.
Tucker looks like a younger, slightly more rugged version of my younger brother Joshua.
They both have lean, muscular physiques, though Josh is slightly stockier.
The key difference is, Tucker has longer, shaggier hair, tattoos and piercings.
Josh has a few tattoos of his own, but both of Tucker’s arms are sleeved in them, and he also has a septum piercing I know drives our oldest brother Ryan crazy.
He’s wearing his trademark leather jacket, and a lazy grin. I can certainly see why he has the reputation of being a heartbreaker and wonder how many women he’s slept with while he’s been here.
“Really well, yeah, I won first place, and $1000.”
“Nice. You can pay for lunch,” I tease.
“Nah, I’ve gotta save it. There’s a big contest coming up in California in a few months that I need to finance.”
I’m impressed, usually Tucker blows any money he makes from surfing contests within a few days. I make a mental note to tell Ryan and Antony when we get back home, I know they’ll approve.
“Fair enough. Let me check into the hotel and freshen up, and then we can go out and grab some food.”
Tucker is staying at a mid-priced hotel near the airport, so I’ve booked a room there too, on the floor above. After checking in, showering, and changing, we’re ready to explore.
I’ve never been to North Carolina before, but it seems like a nice state. Charlotte is certainly pleasant enough, with lots of greenery. We find a large strip mall opposite the hotel, and there’s a number of restaurants, including a Japanese one that serves an all-you-can-eat buffet lunch.
After being shown in by a server, we load our plates up with different dishes, cramping on as much as possible, to make the most of our money.
“So, what’s going on back home? Any more of our brothers got some chick knocked up or gotten engaged?” Tucker asks when we’re sitting down and eating.
We both laugh. Though Ryan and Antony give Tucker a hard time for his womanizing ways, in the last few months, they’ve both gotten women they’re seeing pregnant.
Though, like true gentlemen, they’re taking responsibility for their forthcoming kids.
It helps that they’ve both been lucky to score beautiful, understanding, devoted partners in the process.
“No, but Lana is back in town.”
Tucker raises a dark eyebrow. “For how long?”
“Permanently. Her grandmother passed, so she’s taken over the shop and is turning it into a gallery,” I say, placing my chopsticks down for a moment to take a sip of water.
“So, you’re screwing her again?” my youngest brother asks bluntly.
I almost choke on my drink. “Tuck! Don’t be crass. Actually, we’re in love.”
Tucker rolls his eyes. “That’s what you said last time, but she still moved to New York. What makes you think it will be different this time?”
“We’re older. Our priorities have changed. We both want to make this second chance work.”
“Sure, sure,” Tucker says dismissively. “Whatever makes you happy, man.”
I huff out a breath. “Why do you have to be like this?”
“Well, for starters, I remember how cut up you were when she left. I saw you moping around for months afterwards. I don’t want you going through that again,” Tucker says, and I'm touched he cares so much. He acts like he doesn’t give a damn about the world, but deep down, I know Tucker is a good guy. “Secondly, relationships sucks.”
I snort out a laugh. “Have you ever been in a relationship that lasted more than one night?”
“Yes, and I hated it.”
“So what, one bad experience has put you off for life?”
My brother shrugs. “I just don’t see the point of committing to one woman, when there are so many to choose from.”
“Don’t you want to settle down and have kids someday?”
“Christ, Seb, I’m twenty-one, not forty. Kids can wait,” Tucker says with an eye roll. “Why is that what you and Lana are planning? Marriage, kids, the whole shebang?”
“It’s all I’ve ever wanted, and Lana has always been the one,” I insist.
“Then why do I sense some hesitation in your voice?” My brother challenges me.
I sigh and rake my hands through my hair.
Tucker is too perceptive for his own damn good.
“Okay, you’re right, I am hesitant. Lana is different since she came back from New York.
She’s less open. I know something happened while she was out there, but she keeps asking me to be patient.
She promised to tell me when the time is right. ”
Tucker grimaces. “See, this is why I don’t do relationships. When a chick is keeping a secret, it’s never a good thing. For all you know, she could have an estranged husband or something.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. Lana wouldn’t hide something like that from me,” I insist, but a voice in the back of my mind asks, ‘how can you be so sure?’
“So, what are you gonna do?”
“Who says I have to do anything? Lana asked me to be patient, so I will be. She’s focused on opening the gallery right now, and I don’t wanna add more stress to her life. We’ll see how things are after the opening.”
“You do what you think is best, Seb. Just, if something doesn’t feel right, don’t stick around hoping things will change.”
I consider Tucker’s words carefully, but I’m not sure if there’s any credibility to them or if it’s just Tucker being well, Tucker. He said himself, he doesn’t see a point in relationships, so he’s hardly going to be in favor of me settling down with Lana.
Trying to move the conversation to safer grounds, I ask, “So the surfing contest went well then?”