AMBER
Watching Tucker walk away breaks my heart, but I have to do it. I already decided before I even knew about the baby that I can’t keep going around and around in circles with him. And now I have a child to protect, it’s even more important to keep my distance.
It’s my own fault really. I never should have gone over to Cait and Josh's place. But, well … this is my first pregnancy. I have no clue what I’m doing, and in a moment of weakness I needed my best friend.
Then Tucker showed up.
It’s going to make things super awkward when I do tell her I’m having Tucker’s baby … maybe it’s best if I do just keep it to myself for a while. Perhaps I can invent a fake hook-up with a random person or something to make sure no one gets suspicious when I finally do reveal I’m pregnant.
I heave out a sigh and am about to go into the back room to check on the French Bulldog we have in for the week while its owners are on vacation, when the main door opens again.
I half expect it to be Tucker, come back to … I dunno … try to win me over? So I’m surprised and relieved when it’s Caitlyn.
My relief quickly turns to panic as I realize she has followed me here because she suspects something is going on.
“Hey. I would have thought you’d be back home, tucked up in bed with a packet of Tylenol, a bar of chocolate and a cheesy movie.”
“I should be. But I couldn’t settle. I thought I’d be more useful here.”
“Right, Okay. So, why did you come over earlier? We never got a proper chance to talk before Tucker showed up.”
“Oh, I was just coming by to tell you I was feeling well enough to come back to work already.”
“You could have just sent me a message.” Caitlyn scrutinizes me closely, her brows knitting together in a frown.
“What’s going on, Amber? I’ve never known you to recover from period-flu so quickly, and honestly, even before today, you haven’t been yourself.
You don’t come by mine and Josh’s place anymore, and you’ve been acting strangely for weeks.
What gives? I know things are changing, what with Josh and I living together, and me having his baby, but you’re still my best friend.
Hell, you’re practically my sister. You don’t have to give me and Josh space or anything like that.
Unless it’s because you’re not happy for me and Josh? ”
I hate that my odd behavior has Caitlyn thinking I’m not happy for her, that’s the furthest thing from the truth, and before I can stop myself, I blurt out, “I slept with Tucker. Twice. Well, three times actually, if you count when you and Josh were in Southampton, but you already know about that time.”
Caitlyn’s mouth opens and closes like she’s a goldfish, and I can almost see the cogs in her head turning as she processes what I’ve just told her. Finally, her confusion morphs into a grin.
“Oh my god, this is so great. We can go on double dates and everything.”
I hate to burst her bubble, but I can’t let Caitlyn get ahead of herself. “I’m sorry, but that’s not going to happen. I just told Tucker I don’t want to see him again.”
“What? Why? I know he has a reputation, but he really isn’t that bad underneath it all. Actually, he’s kinda nice, and well, neither of us can argue that he isn’t hot.”
“Been perving on your boyfriend’s brother, have you?” I tease, trying to deflect the attention away from me for a moment.
“What? No! But come on, all the Braddock Brothers are hot.”
No lies there!
“Be that as it may, Tucker is no Joshua. I’m not saying he’s a bad guy, but we both know he’s not the settling down type. And you know everything I went through with Cody.”
Caitlyn nods in understanding. “So what? This was just a fling?”
“Yeah, it was fun until it wasn’t.” I let out a long breath.
I can’t tell her about the baby, but I can be more honest with my best friend.
“But I can already see myself catching feelings for him, and I get the sense I want this much more than he does. I can’t keep running around in circles. You know how that messed me up before.”
“I’d be inclined to agree with you, apart from a few key factors that haven't been mentioned. You say you’ve slept with Tucker three times, right?
That has to be some record. I’ve never seen him go back to the same woman even once, let alone twice.
And well, you should have seen how he raced over to our place when Josh mentioned you were there, and then, the minute you leave, he leaves too and comes here?
That doesn’t sound like the actions of a guy who isn’t interested in something more serious.
In fact, if anything, it sounds to me like Tucker actually likes you. ”
This is not what I want to hear right now. If it were just me, then yeah, maybe I’d consider seeing where things go with Tucker. But I can’t get a baby mixed up in all this. I will not put a child through the heartbreak of their father rejecting them.
I shake my head. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe you’re not. But I can’t go through that again.”
Caitlyn frowns. “Why? Because of Cody. I know he hurt you, and I know it took a lot for you to get over him … but you can’t close yourself off from every potential relationship just because you’re scared of history repeating itself.
Come on, what would you say to me if the roles were reversed?
You helped me realize that David wasn’t right for me, but I could have a future with Josh--”
“This isn’t like you and Josh. I know you love the idea of us going on double dates and all that, and honestly, I did too. Maybe that’s why I kept believing things with Tucker would work out. But things are different now.”
Caitlyn frowns. “Different how? What did he do? Because I swear to God, Amber, it doesn’t matter if he’s Josh’s brother, if he’s hurt you in some way, I will kill him.”
Caitlyn’s fists scrunch into tight balls and she turns towards the door. Afraid she’s going to go off, half-crazed, and try to kill her future brother-in-law or something, I blurt out, “I’m pregnant.”
The tension leaves Caitlyn’s body in an instant, and she turns to me, wide-eyed. “You’re pregnant? With Tucker’s baby?”
I bow my head. “Yup.”
“How?”
I can’t help but laugh. “You’re pregnant, and really asking me how this works?”
Caitlyn laughs too. “No, I get how, I just … Well, neither you nor Tucker strike me as the type not to use protection. I know taking the pill makes you unwell, but condoms are still a thing. Given Tucker’s reputation, I thought you’d be worried about catching an STD or something.”
My chest tightens. Shit. I hadn’t even considered that. I’d been too focused on being pregnant.
“The most recent times we slept together, we used protection. But the first time? Honestly, I don’t remember. I was at the party with Tina and Mike, and you know how she likes to invent those insane cocktails. She convinced me to drink them with her, and after that, things are a bit of a blur.”
“You’re not saying Tucker forced you, are you?”
“Oh God, no. I was out of it, but I still consented. Don’t worry. He’s a jerk, and a womanizer, but he’s not a rapist. No, I meant, I wasn’t sober enough to consider protection, and I can’t remember if he did, either. And well, I can hardly ask him without making him suspicious.”
“You mean you’re not going to tell him?” Caitlyn asks, sounding surprised. Did she really think I was going to tell Tucker, after everything we’ve already discussed?
“You can’t be serious. I can’t tell Tucker I’m pregnant. That’s a terrible idea. He doesn’t want a kid. And even if he did, you can’t tell me he’d be a good father.”
Caitlyn opens her mouth, then closes it again and shakes her head. Finally, she says, “Okay, you’re right there. But this is his baby too. Doesn’t he have a right to know?”
“Caitlyn, you’re pregnant too, surely you understand this innate instinct to protect your child at all costs?”
My best friend nods earnestly. “Of course. I’d die before I let anyone hurt this little one.”
She strokes her stomach affectionately, and I can’t help but smile.
“Right, and I’d do the same for my baby. And Tucker knowing he’s the father could end up hurting them. He’s not like Josh and his other brothers. I don’t know if you’ve noticed it, Cait, but there’s a darkness in him.”
Caitlyn sighs. “Yeah, you’re right, and Josh has mentioned it before, too. I know he got arrested a few weeks back, when he had that party.”
“Exactly. I can’t put my child through that. What if his behavior gets worse? What if he becomes violent or goes to prison?”
Caitlyn bites her bottom lip, and I know she’s slowly coming to the same conclusions I did.
“I want to believe that won’t happen. I’d like to think if you told him about the baby, he’d step up and do the right thing.
But I don’t know that with certainty. I understand why you’ve decided not to tell him. ”
I let out a relieved sigh. “Thank you. I know he’s Josh’s brother, and this makes things awkward, but you have to know it’s for the best.”
Caitlyn is silent for a moment, and I worry she’s going to argue, but then she asks, “What will you do when you start showing and stuff? You can’t avoid Tucker forever, and he might be many things, but he isn’t an idiot. When he sees you’re pregnant, he’s eventually going to figure it out.”
“I know, and I’ve thought about that. I’m going to have to invent a random guy I hooked up with. I dunno, maybe if I hit up a club with Tina and Mike at some point soon, I can make it look like I went home with some guy I met there.”
“Maybe. Just be careful Tina doesn’t convince you into getting wasted. You don’t want to do anything that might harm the baby.”
“Good point,” I agree, then it dawns on me.
If I got pregnant the first time me and Tucker slept together, that means I’ve gotten very drunk at least once since then.
Could that have affected the baby? “Can I get the number of your obstetrician? I want to make sure I get prenatal care booked as soon as possible.”
“Yeah, of course. Doctor Lennox is amazing. But won’t it be weird, you know, because she’s the doctor for all the other women the Braddock brothers have gotten pregnant.”
“First of all, there should be some sort of documentary made about the Braddocks. Are they trying to single handedly repopulate Suffolk County or something?” We both laugh, and then I add, “But the hippocratic oath still exists. Even if the doctor knows who the father is, she’s duty bound to keep quiet. ”
“True that,” Caitlyn agrees. She closes the distance between us and pulls me into a tight embrace. “You know, this is kind of exciting. We’re going to be moms at the same time. Even if you never tell Tucker, our babies are still going to grow up together. They’ll be best friends.”
Shit. I didn’t think about that. This makes everything so much more complicated.
If I have a baby that’s of a similar age to Caitlyn and Joshua's, there’s no way that baby won’t be included in playdates and birthday parties, and if that happens the other Braddocks are bound to see the baby.
What if they look like Tucker, and everyone works out who the father is?
As the revelation hits me, all the feelings I’ve been keeping bottled up spill out of me, and I break down, tears rolling down my cheeks.
“Hey, hey. What’s up?” Caitlyn asks in a soft, soothing voice, as she strokes my back.
“This is such a mess. Even if I do invent a story about hooking up with a stranger, there’s every chance the baby will look like Tucker, and then as soon as one of the Braddocks sees them, they’ll work it out.
What should I do? I can’t have a baby with Tucker …
it would never work … but I can’t avoid you and your family forever, either. ”
“It’s okay, we’ll work something out,” Caitlyn says, as she continues to stroke my back comfortingly. “Maybe the baby will look more like you.”
“Hmmm … here’s hoping. Because if not, the truth is going to come out sooner rather than later.”