A face to the name
SIXTY-SIX
Shay’s arm tucks me closer into his side as we enter the apartment building. “Are you sure you’re ready for this?”
“As ready as I’ll ever be.”
“Wynter isn’t,” he points out.
“No, well, she wasn’t raised in this life.” I tip up my chin. “She just needs time. That’s all.”
“And you don’t?”
“I’m fine.”
“You keep on saying that. Are you ever going to tell me what happened?”
“You know what happened.”
“I know you’re a Veronian,” he mumbles, the words almost silent.
“That’s about as much as you’ll ever know.” My smile’s weak, but then, so is everything about me right now.
I got an infection in the brand and it’s taken weeks to heal. The only perk has been watching Maxim nurse me—a fascinating sight.
The major downside?
He’s refused to put out.
It’s not that I want him to fuck me. I just… God, that whole mess with the pledging ceremony screwed with my head.
I know exactly how Wynter’s feeling—like I want to be left alone, but also like I can’t.
Like I know people are watching me.
Like I know that this is a test in and of itself.
I can only imagine how many people freak the fuck out shortly after being inducted into the brotherhood and then want to leave.
I have no desire to, but I sure as hell feel like shit.
“You can tell me anything, Vicky.”
I shoot him a smile as I pat his cheek.
His promise is sweet, but I know it’s not the truth. Even if he believes it right now.
The only people I can speak candidly with are Maxim and Wynter.
They know the rules of the game. Rules that Shay can never learn. Not if he’s to remain clean for the decades ahead.
I’ve sullied my soul for this boy who holds so much promise…
I can only pray that he won’t let me down like I’ve let him down.
I know he’d never have asked me to do what I have in his name. But it’s too late for that. I’m here. I’ve killed. Twice. Now, I have to live with my actions.
As we step into the elevator, I breathe in, sharply, when he accidentally nudges my arm.
Fire licks along my nerve endings, as much as if the branding happened yesterday. It’s driving me crazy. I can’t wait for it to be healed already.
Shay shoots me a concerned look. “You’re not ready for this.”
“I am!” I argue mulishly, though he’s right.
Maxim had to work in the city tonight and the last thing I wanted was to be alone. Plus, I miss my friends.
We’re all hanging out at Zach, Denny, and Pecan’s place. There’s a hockey game on and Denny’s watching it from Madrid, where she’s currently on a study exchange program.
The only thing I want to do with hockey is push my wound onto the ice to cool it the fuck down, but I’ll deal with it.
I need company.
I need junk food.
And I need to feel like my life is returning to some semblance of normalcy.
I never figured that I had it in me to do what the Veronians asked.
But I do.
Just for tonight, I’d like to forget that.
I would love to be a regular college student, hanging out with friends, having fun and—
“We’re here.”
“Crap,” I admit. “So we are.”
He shoots me yet another concerned look, one that’s doused in guilt that I hate to see, and goes to knock on our friends’ door until someone calls out, “Wait for me!”
Flinching, and then mad at myself for being such a wimp, I realize it’s Lex.
“Hi, Lex,” I greet with a weak smile.
“Didn’t you hear me? I was yelling at you in the foyer.”
“Sorry, Lex. We’re in a world of our own at the moment.”
“Everything okay?” she asks, voice worried.
“Yeah, all good.” Shay’s smile is strained, but he knocks on the door.
“Your earrings are super cute,” Lex murmurs.
Smiling, I stroke my finger over the diamond-studded ladybugs Maxim gave to me.
Every time he touches one, he teasingly whispers, “‘Little cow, little cow, fly to heaven, bring us bread.’” Then dots kisses over my face in between each word.
I swear I’d have crumbled without his support the past couple weeks.
Upon opening the door, Pecan yanks Shay in—thank God, not me—as he greets us before saying, “I’ll see you guys later. Unless you wanna come to the party at Romero’s?”
“Nah. We’re good. Have fun,” I tell him, swerving my arm away from his bull-in-a-china-shop self.
“He’s not watching the Bulldogs?!” Denny gasps as I grab the tail end of the video call she’s having with Zach and Callan. “Holy fuck, how broken is he?”
Pecan’s breakup has hit him hard.
“Very. He’s approaching the point where it’s going to affect him even being able to play on the team! He’s flunking computer science, and I’m good at tutoring, but I cannot rescue a dead rat,” Callan complains.
“Wow, that’s some imagery,” Lex drawls.
Callan immediately freezes as Lex takes a seat beside him. His crush is so obvious, I have to smile. Especially when his eyes beg Denny to “send help.”’
Smirking at him, I sit back on the sofa and tug one of Denny’s Magic 8-ball cushions onto my lap. “How are things, Lex?”
“Awesome now that I don’t have to serve that bastard breakfast anymore.”
I brace myself, knowing that I need to be convincing as I greet with a whoop, “Did you hear the news?”
“Edinburgh, baby! I brought Champagne,” Shay declares on our agreed “lie.”
Gossip has spread over campus about Dyers's absence. Callan and Conor decided to start the rumor that he’d moved to Edinburgh to live with his father at the local consulate, but Callan has been pushing it far and wide via a social media account he created to blacken Dyers’s name.
“No fair! I’m not there to drink any!”
“We can have another party when you’re back,” I tell Denny with a smile. “How’s Madrid?”
“Beautiful. And alive. And just…” She exhales a happy sigh. “…awesome.”
“I loved Madrid,” Shay concurs. “Mom and I traveled a lot before she got back together with my dad. She’s kind of a…a nomad, so we went all over and I saw a lot of stuff.”
Having heard about his travels a bunch of times, I zone out and gladly hover at the periphery of the conversation.
When I receive a text, I glance at my watch and smile.
Maxim: Are you having fun, kotik?
Me: Yes. I should have told you I arrived, huh?
Maxim: That you think I didn’t know that before I messaged tells me you’re the queen of wishful thinking
Me: Ha ha ha
Maxim: How’s your arm?
Me: Sore
Maxim: I’d kill that bastard if I could
Me: It’ll turn out all right. Eventually
Maxim: It’s the “eventually” I’m not looking forward to
Maxim: How I wish you recognized him
Me: It’s fine. It’s not like you can kill him lol. He’s important.
Maxim: Yes, I remember. Only an “Alaric” can rule the society.
Me: It’s more like an ascension. But yeah, pretty much.
I spent the rest of winter break memorizing the Book of Souls. If that sounds like some funky paranormal romance, then it’s not far off.
While I’m sure I have freakin’ PTSD from my initiation ceremony, and despite having learned a whole helluva lot from the book that makes me puke at the thought of crossing the Veronians, I still think they’re failed glee-club wannabes whose daddies made them join Model United Nations instead.
Maxim: Are you watching the game?
Me: Mostly just chilling out
Me: It’s been a stressful couple weeks
Maxim: I’m here if you need me.
Me: I know
Maxim: I should be home before the game ends
Me: Really?! I thought you had to stay in the city tonight!!!
Maxim: I managed to conclude my business faster than anticipated
Me: Fantastic! Tell me when you’re ten minutes away and I’ll cut out early
Maxim: I’m honored, pchelka
Me: As you should be. See you later
Maxim: Later, dorogoya
“Where did Lex go?” I ask.
“Her sister called.”
Ah. Tegan.
The reminder makes it easier to sit back in the couch and relax among my friends.
“Did you hear?” Callan chimes in, practically bouncing on his seat in happiness. “Tegan’s agreed to attend Oakwood again now that Dyers has fucked off to darken Scotland’s door instead of ours.”
I shutter my eyes while the chatter goes on, Denny sharing tidbits of her stay in Madrid, Callan talking about his dog and how he’s given the wee beastie his own bedroom as an apology for moving into this apartment building, Zach and Shay bitching about the Stars’ performance...
We’re an unlikely group of friends, congregating only because of a shared enemy, but I hope, I truly hope that now that Dyers’s been dealt with, this isn’t the end for us.
My life is crazier than ever. Tonight, it’s hockey with friends I hope to get to know better and bedtime with my husband…
Tomorrow, there’s the first meeting of the new year called by the Veronians, and the day after that, I’m being initiated into Pi Beta Epsilon—the sorority has deeper ties to the Veronians than Wynter and I realized.
But for all that I’m dreading the next week, I’ll take it, just because of this moment.
A smile graces my lips as I doze off.
Of course, just as soon as I relax for the first time in weeks, the Stars score for the second time.
My eyes pop open at the celebratory racket.
And I come face-to-face with Alaric in the stands.
Mouth trembling, I grab my phone and take a picture.
Me: Do you know this man?
It pisses me off that my hands are shaking, but I can’t stop them.
I only realize I was holding my breath when the ticks turn blue and Maxim starts typing.
Maxim: Yes, I know him. Who is he to you?
Me: Alaric
Me: Who is he?!
Maxim: Commissioner of the NYPD.
Maxim: His name’s Kingston.
Me: Not him! I know who the commissioner of the NYPD is, Maxim. The guy next to him!
*A minute later*
Maxim: His name’s Alexander Delaney. He's a four-star general
Maxim: Are you sure that's Alaric, korovka?
Me: I’ll remember that face in my nightmares, Maxim.
Of everything that happened, it was him smiling as he dipped his thumb in Dyers's blood and pressed it to my forehead that has stayed with me since that night.
Maxim: I’ll be there in a half hour.
Maxim: Go home
Me: There’s nowhere else I’d rather be
And I mean it.
A part of me feels like I’ll never be safe again.
Then I’m reminded that I’m Maxim’s.
And I can breathe easier.