Chapter 23 - Kirsten
The silence stretches between us like a living thing.
Menlow stands across the room, watching me with those blue eyes that have haunted me since the day I met him. He’s waiting for me to say something. To give him direction. To tell him what comes next.
But I’m stuck on something he said earlier. Something that didn’t fully register until just now.
“You said I’m everything.”
He blinks. “What?”
“Before. You said I’m not just an obligation or responsibility. You said I’m everything. What did you mean by that?”
“I meant…” He trails off and drags his knuckles over his jaw. “I meant what I said.”
“That’s not an answer.”
“Kirsten—”
“Say it.” My voice comes out so strong and demanding, it surprises even me. “Whatever you’re dancing around, whatever you’re too scared to admit, just say it. Because I’m tired of guessing. I’m tired of trying to read between the lines and getting it wrong.”
He stares at me for a long moment. I can see him wrestling with himself, that iron control of his warring with something deeper. Something he’s been trying to keep locked away.
“I love you.”
The words land softly. Quietly. Like he’s afraid saying them too loud will break something.
“I love you,” he repeats, stronger this time. “I have for weeks. Maybe since our first night together. And it terrifies me more than anything the Volkovs could ever do.”
I should feel triumphant. I should feel vindicated. Instead, all I feel is a bone-deep ache.
“Then why are you trying so hard to push me away?”
“Because loving you makes you a target.” He closes the distance between us, stopping just short of touching me.
“Because every enemy I’ve ever made will see you as my weakness.
And if something happened to you because of me, I would burn this entire city to the ground, and that scares me almost as much as losing you does. ”
“So your solution is to send me away? To set me up in some apartment across town and pretend I don’t exist?”
“I’ll do whatever I need to do to keep you alive. Even if that means breaking my own heart.”
“I’ve gone some news for you, Menlow. I was alive before I met you. I managed just fine.”
“You weren’t being hunted by Bratva before you met me.”
“No, I was just being sold out by my boss and threatened by men I’d never seen before. Or did you forget that’s how this whole thing started? I was already in danger. You didn’t create that. You saved me from it.”
He opens his mouth to argue, but I cut him off.
“You want to know what I think? I think you’re using Jovan as an excuse.
I think you’re so used to being in control of everything that when something comes along you can’t control—like feelings, like love—you don’t know what to do with it.
So you push it away. You try to manage it like it’s a business problem instead of a human one. ”
“That’s not—”
“Let me finish. You love me. Fine. I love you, too. But love isn’t supposed to feel like a prison sentence. It’s not supposed to be something that drives us apart.”
His breath catches. “You love me?”
“Of course I do, you impossible man.” I want to shake him.
I want to kiss him. I settle for poking him in the chest. “Why do you think I’m so angry?
Why do you think it hurt so much when you told me to leave?
If I didn’t love you, I would have taken your money and your apartment and your nice new job and been grateful for the fresh start.
Instead, I packed a bag and ran to a hotel because I couldn’t stand to take anything that reminded me of you. ”
“Kirsten…”
“I’m not done.” I poke him again. “You think keeping me at arm’s length will keep me safe? It won’t. All it does is make us both miserable. Jovan doesn’t care where I sleep at night. If he wants to find me, he’ll find me. The only difference is whether I’m facing that threat alone or with you.”
“I can’t protect you if you’re not with me.”
“Exactly!” I throw my hands up. “That’s exactly my point!
You can’t protect me if I’m across town in some apartment you picked out.
You can’t protect me if I’m pretending to work at some job you arranged.
The only way you can actually keep me safe is if I’m with you.
By your side. Where you can see me and reach me and fight for me if you need to. ”
He’s quiet for a long moment. I can see him working through it, that brilliant mind of his turning my words over and examining them from every angle.
“You really believe that?” he asks.
“I know it.” I soften my voice as I continue. “Menlow, I watched you fight through an entire warehouse to get to me. I saw what you did to those men. I know what you’re capable of when someone threatens the people you love. Do you really think I’m safer somewhere you can’t reach me?”
“No.” The word comes out rough. Torn. “No, I don’t.”
“Then stop trying to send me away.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“Yes, it is.” I reach up and cup his face in my hands, forcing him to look at me. “You love me. I love you. We’re already married. The hard part is done. Everything else is just details.”
“Details like a Bratva war and a man who wants to use you to destroy me?”
“Details like having a partner who knows what she signed up for and isn’t going to run at the first sign of trouble.
” I stroke my thumb across his cheekbone.
“I’m not a civilian anymore, Menlow. I haven’t been since the day you put that contract in front of me.
I know who you are. I know what your family does.
And I’m still here. Doesn’t that tell you something? ”
He closes his eyes and leans into my touch. When he speaks, his voice is barely above a whisper.
“The idea of you living somewhere else has been killing me. I thought it was the right thing. The noble thing. I was trying to be selfless for once in my life, and I managed to hurt us both in the process.”
“You’re not very good at being selfless.”
“No. I’m not.” He opens his eyes. “I’m possessive and controlling, and I make decisions without consulting anyone. I treat people like chess pieces, and I forget they have feelings of their own. I’m not a good man, Kirsten. I never have been.”
“I didn’t ask for a good man. I asked for you.”
Something cracks inside him. I can see it on his face. That wall he keeps so carefully maintained crumbles, and for the first time, I see him completely unguarded.
“Stay,” he says. “Please. Come home with me.”
“Only if things change.”
“They will. I swear to you, they will.”
“No more decisions without me. No more trying to manage my life behind my back. If there’s a threat, you tell me. If there’s a plan, you include me. I’m your wife, not your ward.”
“I know.”
“Do you?” I search his face. “Because this is the last time I’m having this conversation. If you try to send me away again, I won’t accept your sister’s help and hang around waiting for you to find me. I’ll be gone for good.”
“I understand.” He wraps his hands around my wrists, holding me in place. “I won’t make that mistake again. I promise you.”
“Promises are easy.”
“Then let me prove it.” He turns his head and presses a kiss to my palm. “Every day. For as long as you’ll let me. Let me show you that I can be better. That I can be the partner you deserve.”
My heart stutters in my chest. “That’s a pretty big commitment.”
“I’m already committed. I have been since the day you signed that contract.” His lips curve into something almost like a smile. “I just didn’t know how to tell you.”
“You could have tried using words.”
“I’m not good with words.”
“You’re a businessman. Words are literally your job.”
“Business words, yes. These words…” He shakes his head. “These are harder.”
I understand what he means. Talking about spreadsheets, mergers and quarterly projections is easy. Talking about feelings? That’s a foreign language for men like Menlow. The fact that he’s trying at all means more than he knows.
“So what happens now?” I ask.
“Now you come home with me. We figure out how to handle Jovan together. And we stop pretending this marriage is just a business arrangement.”
“Was it ever really just a business arrangement?”
He considers the question. “Maybe at first. For about five minutes. Then you opened your mouth and argued with me, and I was done for.”
I laugh despite myself. “You fell for me because I argued with you?”
“I fell for you because you weren’t afraid of me. Everyone else either wants something from me or is terrified of what I might do. You just…” He trails off, searching for the right words. “You just saw me. The real me. And you stayed anyway.”
“The real you is kind of an ass.”
“I know.”
“And controlling.”
“Also true.”
“And you have terrible communication skills.”
“I’m aware.”
I drop my hands from his face and wrap my arms around his neck instead. “Lucky for you, I’ve always had a weakness for difficult men.”
He pulls me closer, and his arms encircle my waist. For a moment, we just stand there, breathing each other in. The anger and hurt from the past few days slowly drain away, replaced by something warmer. Something that feels like coming home.
“I love you,” he murmurs against my hair.
“I love you, too.” I pull back just enough to look at him. “But if you ever pull something like this again—”
“I won’t.”
“I’m serious, Menlow.”
“So am I.” He cups my face in his hands, mirroring what I did to him earlier. “You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I’m not going to be stupid enough to throw that away twice.”
“Good.” I rise up on my toes and brush my lips against his. “Now take me home.”
The kiss starts soft. Gentle. A promise rather than a demand. But it quickly grows as weeks of fear and longing and unspoken words pour out between us. By the time we break apart, we’re both breathing hard.
“Home,” he agrees roughly. “Now.”
“We could stay here a little longer.”
“I want you in our bed. Not some hotel room.” He grabs my bag from the bed and slings it over his shoulder. “I’ve spent too many nights without you already.”
I laugh and let him lead me toward the door. But before we leave, I stop him with a hand on his arm.
“Menlow?”
“Yes?”
“Thank you. For coming after me. For not giving up.”
He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear, his touch unbearably tender. “I will always come after you, Kirsten. No matter where you go. No matter how angry you are. You’re mine, and I don’t let go of what’s mine.”
“That’s very possessive of you.”
“I warned you I was.”
“You did.” I smile up at him. “I’m starting to think I don’t mind it as much as I should.”
We leave the hotel together with his hand wrapped around mine, and for the first time in days, I feel like I can breathe again.
This isn’t the end of our problems. Jovan is still out there. The Bratva world is still dangerous. Our marriage started as a contract, and trust doesn’t rebuild overnight.
But we have each other. And right now, that’s enough.