42. Nikolai
Nikolai
I’m moving toward the building when the explosion rips through the night behind me. The concussion wave hits my back, making me stumble forward two steps.
Everything inside me locks.
“Gabby,” I choke out, spinning around. I see the fireball lighting up the sky just past where we left the SUVs. Orange flames. Black smoke.
No. No no no.
“Pasha!” I shout into my comms. “What the fuck was that? Is Gabby…”
“Checking now,” his voice crackles back. “Hold position.”
Hold position? I’m already running back the way I came. Sergei grabs my arm.
“Nikolai, wait.”
I can’t breathe. My vision is tunneling. If she’s gone, if I lost both of them…
“Nikolai!” Pasha’s voice cuts through my panic. “The blast missed their vehicle. The guards are with them.”
The relief is intense, but I want to go to her. Every instinct is screaming at me to turn around and get to Gabby. But Luke is still somewhere in this building.
“Find my son,” I order into the comms. “Now.”
I turn back toward the building and force myself to move. One foot in front of the other. Sergei is beside me again, Kirill flanking my other side. We breach the entrance together.
The interior is dark. My eyes adjust slowly. I make out hallways branching in multiple directions. The smell hits me. Mildew and something rotting. My stomach turns.
Gunfire erupts from somewhere deeper in the building, and I move toward it on instinct with my gun raised. A man rounds the corner with a weapon drawn. I fire twice. Center mass. He drops.
“Clear left.” Andrei’s voice crackles over comms.
“Clear right,” Roman responds.
I move through the hallway, checking doors. Empty room. Storage closet. Another empty room.
“I’ve got something,” Maksim says. “Second floor, east corner. Door’s locked from the outside.”
I charge up the stairs and race down the second-floor hallway. I feel him. Is that possible? Yes. Because I know he’s here.
Maksim is standing in front of a door at the end of the hall. He steps aside when he sees me coming.
I can see light bleeding out from under the door.
I reach for the handle, taking a breath. Luke doesn’t need to see me falling apart.
The door is locked. I kick it hard enough to dislodge it from the hinges.
The room is small. Bare walls. A single overhead light that’s too bright. And in the corner, pressed against the wall, is a small figure wrapped in a blue blanket.
My chest constricts so tightly that I can’t breathe. I feel like I’m choking. Maksim is there, and his hand is on my shoulder.
“Breathe, brother. Breathe.”
It’s a struggle, but I manage it. I swear to every God, I will slice the throat of every man if my boy is hurt. Or…
I can’t finish the thought.
“Luke.”
He doesn’t acknowledge me. The blanket is pulled up over his head and shoulders.
I quickly holster my gun, making sure it’s hidden. I take one step into the room, then stop.
“Luke, it’s Nikolai.”
He’s so still that I can’t even tell if he’s breathing.
I creep closer and lower myself slowly to the ground, making myself smaller. Less threatening. I’m still several feet away.
“I’m here to take you home,” I say softly. “Your mom is outside. She’s safe. She’s waiting for you.”
The blanket shifts slightly. I see it move near where his head must be. My head drops forward. He’s alive.
“I know you’re scared.” My voice is shaking, but I can’t stop it. “I would be scared, too. But you’re safe now. No one is going to hurt you. I’m here.”
I wait. Count to ten in my head.
“Can I come closer?”
Still nothing. I think of my mom, and what she did when I had a bad day. She talked. She told me about the paintings she’d worked on. Told me about the flowers she wanted to show me.
So, I start talking about dinosaurs.
“Is he…” Sergei’s voice comes behind me.
“Scared,” Maksim finishes.
My brothers have my back. I can do this. I can save my boy.
I keep talking, reciting the facts about dinosaurs that I’ve been learning with him. I talk about swimming. The therapy swing.
I’m running out of things to say. I don’t know how to do this. I’m not good at this. But I have to try.
“Luke, I need you to know something.” I swallow hard. “I love you. Your mom loves you. We’re going to keep you safe. I promise.”
The blanket moves again. This time I see a small gap. One blue eye peeks out at me.
My heart stutters.
“Hi,” I whisper.
He blinks and then disappears under the blanket.
But that’s something. That’s acknowledgment.
“Can I come closer?” I ask. “I won’t touch you. I just want to sit near you.”
No response. But he doesn’t pull the blanket tighter or try to make himself smaller.
I take that as permission.
I move slowly across the floor, stopping when I’m about two feet away. Close enough that he knows I’m here, but far enough that I’m not crowding him.
I sit down and lean my back against the wall.
“This is a scary room,” I say. “It’s too bright. Too loud. I don’t like it, either.”
I see the blanket shift again.
“Do you want to leave?” I ask. “We can go home. Get back to your room with the swing and the sand table. Irina made cookies. Chocolate chip.”
His favorite.
The blanket moves. Slowly, it starts to lower. First, I see the top of his dark hair. Then his forehead. His eyes.
He’s looking at me now. His face is pale and streaked with tears. His eyes are red and swollen.
My chest tears wide open.
“Hey, buddy,” I manage to get out.
“Nik,” he whispers.
I have to bite hard on the inside of my cheek to keep from losing it. “Yeah. It’s me.”
“I want my mom.”
“I know. She’s right outside. Ready to see you.”
“Now?”
“Right now.”
He stares at me for another long moment. “Can you carry me?”
I nod because I don’t trust my voice.
“I wet my pants.” His whisper is broken.
I’ll kill every motherfucker.
“Buddy, I don’t blame you. I’ve done it before, too. It’s okay. We’ll go home and get a bath. Use those new bubbles.”
He stands slowly, with the blanket still wrapped around his shoulders.
I scoop him up carefully. He’s so light. Too light. I settle him against my chest, and he buries his face in my neck.
“I’ve got you,” I tell him. “You’re safe now.”
His arms come up around my neck, holding on tight.
I stand, keeping one hand on his back, the other supporting his weight. He’s trembling.
“Close your eyes,” I tell him quietly. “We’re going to walk out of here, and you don’t have to look at anything. Just hold on to me.”
I feel him nod against my shoulder.
Pasha leads the way, with Maksim and Sergei following us.
My men have cleared the building. Bodies are scattered across the floor. I put the blanket over his head to shield his eyes.
Pasha puts up his hand and makes a fist. I stop and wait.
“Clear,” he says.
I keep moving.
The night air hits us as we step outside. Luke makes a small sound.
“Almost there,” I murmur.