15. Lila
Lila
I float on my back in the pool, staring up at the Miami sky. The water laps gently around me, warm and perfect. I’ve been out here for more than an hour, existing in the quiet.
I’ve been married for two weeks, and I don’t hate it. I’m protected, fed, and safe, just like Maksim promised. I have access to horses and a pool and more food than I know what to do with.
There are worse ways to live.
I haven’t seen much of Maksim. He leaves early and comes home late. Sometimes, I hear him late at night. Once, I caught him watching me from the house while I was with the horses. When our eyes met, he turned and walked away.
It’s fine. This is what I wanted. A marriage in name only.
So why does it bother me?
I flip over, swim to the edge, and pull myself out. Water streams off me as I reach for my towel. That’s when I notice her.
A woman sits in one of the lounge chairs, wearing a white bikini that shows off her perfect body. Her dark hair is pulled into a messy bun with the kind of beauty that makes me intimately aware of my every flaw.
She’s one of Maksim’s women. I’ve met a few, but they keep their distance from me. I know they don’t like me. They blame me for Mara, and I understand. I blame myself, too.
I wrap the towel around myself, suddenly self-conscious.
Her breasts are full, and mine are… not.
She’s curvy and gorgeous. She’s watching me, probably wondering why her boss chose me and not one of his many beauties.
Older women with plenty of knowledge about how to please a man as opposed to a nineteen year old virgin.
“Hi,” she says.
“Hi.” I sit on my chair, keeping a distance between us.
“I’m Ava.”
“Lila.”
“I know who you are.” She smiles. “Everyone knows who you are. You’re the wife.”
The way she says it makes it sound like a title. The Wife. Like I’m a character in a story instead of a real person. It’s a stark reminder that I’m a commodity, not an actual woman.
“I guess I am.”
Ava tilts her head and studies me. “You’re not what I expected.”
“What did you expect?”
“Someone more...” She gestures vaguely. “Polished. The kind of woman Maksim usually has around.”
I bristle. “Sorry to disappoint.”
“I didn’t say I was disappointed.” She leans back in her chair. “Just surprised. You’re different. I guess that’s why he likes you.”
I don’t know how to respond, so I say nothing. I pick up the bottle of water I brought with me and take a long drink.
“Can I ask you something?” Ava says. It’s not really a question.
“Sure.”
“Why did you marry him?”
The question catches me off-guard. “That’s kind of personal.”
“Is it? Everyone’s talking about it anyway. Might as well hear it from you.”
I consider telling her to mind her business, but she sounds genuinely curious, not malicious.
“He offered me protection,” I say finally. “I needed it.”
“And?”
“And what?”
“And that’s it? You married him for protection?”
I look away. “That’s all it was supposed to be.”
“Supposed to be,” she repeats. “But it’s not?”
The truth is messy, and I’m not ready to acknowledge it. Just like other things I’ve locked up tight and refuse to think about. I’m in survival mode. I don’t have time for feelings.
Ava laughs softly. “You like him.”
“I barely know him.”
“Sometimes, that’s all it takes.”
I stretch out on my lounger, letting the sun warm my body.
“Can I ask you something?” I borrow her words.
“Fair’s fair.”
“Why do you do it?” It’s probably a rude question, but I’ve been curious since I got here. “The... work.”
I expect her to be offended. Instead, she laughs.
“You mean why am I a prostitute?”
I wince at the word. “I wouldn’t have put it like that.”
“But that’s what you mean.” She doesn’t sound angry. “It’s okay. I know what I am. Although these days, we call ourselves sex workers.”
“I didn’t mean to be rude. I’m just curious. I want to understand. I’ve been down on my luck. Flat broke. But I could never do it.”
“You make it sound dirty.”
“Isn’t it?”
“Is it?” She sits up straighter. “I enjoy my work. I’m good at it. And it pays for medical school.”
I stare at her. “Medical school?”
“Yep. Second year. I’m going to be a doctor.” She grins at my reaction. “Surprised?”
“I just... I didn’t expect...”
“You didn’t expect a woman who sells her body to be smart?” She’s teasing now. “Or ambitious?”
“No, I just...” I shake my head. “I’m sorry. I’m making this worse.”
“You are.” But she’s still smiling. “Look, I get it. People have ideas about what sex workers are supposed to be. Desperate. Drug-addicted. Victims. And sure, some are. But not all of us.”
I process this. “How did you end up working for Maksim?”
“He saved me.” She says it simply, and I should have expected that response given what I know about him. “I was sixteen and living on the streets. Doing what I had to do to survive. He found me one night, brought me to one of his houses, and put me with Cinder.”
“Cinder?”
“She runs things. Makes sure we’re safe. Healthy. Not being exploited.” Ava’s expression softens. “Maksim gave me a choice. I could leave, go to a shelter, and try to reunite with my family. They didn’t want me, by the way. Or I could stay and work for him, under his protection.”
“And you stayed.”
“I stayed. I finished high school and started college. And yeah, I still work. But it’s my choice. That’s the difference. We make good money. We’re not giving twenty-dollar blowjobs.”
My cheeks burn. “You get paid more.”
She laughs. “A lot more. Some of the girls have specialties. Depending on the client and their needs, we can make ten grand a night.”
I almost fall out of my chair. “You’re lying!”
She laughs again. “I’m not. That kind of money isn’t a nightly thing, but once a month or so, we’ll get one of the good ones. But it’s always our choice.”
I think about what she’s saying about the difference between being forced and choosing for yourself. If I could have made ten grand back in Texas, I honestly might have done it. Turning down that kind of money would have been hard.
“What would have happened if he hadn’t intervened?” I ask quietly.
Ava’s smile fades. “I’d probably be dead. Or so strung out on drugs that I might as well be. The streets are brutal, Lila. Especially for young girls with nowhere to go. I would have wound up with someone who didn’t care if I lived or died. They would have used me up and thrown me away.”
I think about my situation. What would have happened if Maksim hadn’t pulled me out of that club?
“What about Cinder?” Yes, I’m jealous. It pisses me off that I am, but she’s always around him, and I’m pretty sure she doesn’t like me.
Ava grins and shakes her head. “That relationship is none of my business.”
My stomach twists. So there is a relationship.
“Do you have a relationship with him?” I ask bluntly.
“No. He never asked, and I never offered. I know it might be hard for you to believe, but I keep my business and personal lives separate.”
I nod. I think I get it. She doesn’t want to sleep with her boss. “I think you’re one of the few,” I mumble.
“He’s not a good guy by society’s standards,” Ava says. “But he’s not a bad one. He gives us choices. He keeps us safe. He makes sure we get paid and that we’re healthy. More importantly, he makes sure no one hurts us.”
“But he’s still running prostitutes. He’s a glorified pimp.”
“Prostitution is the oldest job in the book.” She shrugs.
“It’s going to happen whether people like it or not.
At least with Maksim, we aren’t getting beaten or killed.
We aren’t slaves. We choose who and when.
Some girls only take a couple of jobs a month.
He’s not forcing us to get out there and stand on a corner. ”
I absorb this. It’s so different from what I assumed.
“What about drugs?” I ask.
“Drugs are everywhere.” Ava picks at her nail polish. “People will do them whether we like it or not. Maksim’s philosophy is that it’s better to get them from a reliable source. No risk of dirty shit that’ll kill you. No fentanyl mixed in. He has it tested.”
“He sells drugs?”
“He facilitates access to safer drugs,” she corrects. “There’s a difference.”
I’m not sure there is, but I’m starting to understand the logic. He’s got railings on a treacherous highway.
“It’s like the horses,” I say, almost to myself.
“What?”
“He rescues horses.” I look at Ava. “He does the same thing with women, doesn’t he? Rescues them.”
Ava smiles. “He’s a collector of broken things. He fixes them. Or gives them a safe place to heal.”
“Am I one of his broken things?”
“Aren’t we all?” She stands and adjusts her bikini.
“Look, I’m not saying Maksim is a saint.
He runs an empire built on things most people think are immoral.
But I've seen him sit with a girl who was too scared to speak and just wait.
Not push. Not fix. Just wait until she was ready.
You don't learn that. You either have it or you don't.
She starts to walk away, then pauses.
“He cares about you,” she says. “More than he probably should. I’ve never seen him like this with anyone. So maybe don’t write him off just because he’s not perfect.”
I watch her leave and let her words sink in.
I sit by the pool for a long time after she’s gone. I can’t help but think about what could have happened to me if Maksim hadn't pulled me out of that club…
I shudder to think about what might have been.
He didn’t have to get mixed up in my drama. He could have walked away, let the Albanians take me, and saved himself the trouble. He didn’t know my story, but he saved me anyway.
I’m not ready to admit what that means to me.
I have feelings for my husband.
And I have no idea what to do about them.