Chapter 27 - Lilia
Naked, hardly able to breathe, hard ground and prickly grass against my back, my hand intertwined with Gavril’s.
The night was moving in fast, the sunset glow almost completely gone.
A cool breeze made goosebumps rise on my skin, but I wasn’t chilled.
Far from it, I was still overheated from that wild passion.
I drew Gavril’s attention to one lone star shining above us, and we just stared at it in silence as we caught our breath. It seemed like ages ago that I was running for my life; sure, I’d be punished severely this time.
Instead, I got this. Not just another self-defense lesson, but so much bliss I could still feel the tremors coursing through my body.
How was it possible? I shouldn’t have been feeling anything remotely like what I felt at that moment.
How could I be so giddy, so close to perfectly content?
How could I be holding hands and staring at the night sky with the man who wanted to destroy my family?
I couldn’t exactly come to terms with that fact.
I hadn’t been able to find out anything new, but I highly doubted his plans had changed in the course of a few days, especially after his little slip during the shooting lesson.
I was absolutely certain he ran out of the house this morning because something was going on with my cousins.
Or more likely, against them. He was the leader of the Collective after all, our biggest rival.
As soon as they popped into my mind, guilt punctured a hole in my serenity. No, there was no way I could be sighing at the beauty of lying in an orange grove after being so uncharacteristically voracious when my family had to be going out of their minds with worry.
Especially Masha, who hated that we were so far apart and had been trying to get me to move up to the Bay Area with her.
She probably blamed herself somehow and was definitely not letting Anatoli get any sleep.
I imagined they were in LA now, scouring the streets, interrogating anyone who might have any information, and just plain pulling out their hair.
Poor Matvey, who was like a big brother to us, and the eldest of our Russian clan. He had to be taking this hard, too. Between him and Aleks, I didn’t know who Gavril should fear the most.
I turned to look at Gavril, still gazing up at the star, his bare chest awfully enticing even when I was wracked with guilt. But I had tried to get away so I could get word to them. Maybe I should have picked up that rock after all, to smash a window and find a phone.
A phone rang then, and when I realized it wasn’t my wishful imagination but that it was coming from Gavril’s discarded pants, I quietly begged him not to answer. Perhaps too quiet. With a grumble, he told me he had to at least check it.
So that meant something was going on. Should I worry? How could I not? He stalked away in all his naked glory to take the call, and I couldn’t hear anything except his tense, low rumble.
After what we just did, was he still plotting against me?
He may have believed I was his now, but my loyalty wouldn’t be shaken.
I wanted so badly to confront him about his plans, but I had been shrinking away from it.
I liked to make myself believe it was fear of how he’d react, but hadn’t he proven he wasn’t going to hurt me, no matter what I did?
Deep down, I didn’t bring it up because I didn’t want to know the truth. My feelings about him were becoming much less mixed. The good was outweighing the bad. If he admitted his goal was always going to be to take down my family, what could I do about it? Try to change his mind?
He seemed so open to my opinions, but that was about inconsequential things like movies. Could I make him see there might be another way? And then what? Live happily ever after?
I almost laughed out loud, but remained silent, straining to overhear anything from Gavril’s side of the conversation. He had moved further away, and he was only a dark form against the trees.
No, there was no arguing with him about something so important. If I failed to change his mind, then I’d have to admit that my secret hopes were nothing more than foolish fantasies. He didn’t really care about me, and this was all a game. Even the passion.
It just sometimes felt so real, like during the shooting lessons.
Movie nights. Dinners and breakfasts, and yes, even when he was hauling me over his shoulder after an escape attempt.
Once again, his kisses and touches had made me lose sight of reality and what was most important.
I should have fought him when he inadvertently mentioned dismantling my family, but I didn’t.
And it wasn’t solely because I’d had way too much confrontation already that day.
I was getting dressed when he ended his call, and I tossed him his clothes.
When I asked him if everything was okay in what I hoped was nothing more than a mildly curious voice, he answered that everything was fine.
His tone was as forced as mine, and when he put his arm around me a little too tightly, something definitely seemed wrong.
He tried to act like the trip back to the house was just a moonlit stroll, but his steps were too brisk, and he almost hunched over me as if he feared gunfire was about to rain down from above.
Once we were in the house, he relaxed a little, but not much. And now that there was enough light to see his face, there was no hiding the tension there.
Before I could ask again, determined to get to the bottom of things, he swept my hair behind my shoulders, smiling as he pulled out a blade of grass and let it fall to the floor.
“Let’s go away,” he said, nodding as if he was sure this was a great plan. “Just the two of us. Somewhere you’ve never been.”
“That would be almost anywhere,” I said.
He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes as he leaned down to kiss me. “I’ll pick a great place that you’ll love.” With a light smack on my bottom, he turned me toward the stairs. “Go get packed.”
“Now?” I yelped. No way were we running from something.
“Why not now?” he asked, visibly more relaxed now that he’d made the decision. “We should have a honeymoon.”
Of course, he expected me to jump to agree. My mind was a whirlwind, not sure if I should dig in and confront him. Was something so bad about to happen to my cousins that he didn’t want me in the same state when it went down?
He seemed to sense my distress and pulled me close, running his hands down my back. “Everything’s fine,” he said. “Can’t I want more of you without any distractions?”
Sure, if those distractions had nothing to do with my family.
With no choice but to comply, because I believed he’d carry me the entire way to the airport and then straight onto a plane, I did some quick thinking.
I had no idea where we’d end up, but if he was serious about it just being us, that might mean no guards.
I had blown any chance of ever befriending the ones who worked at the mansion after I stabbed their comrade.
A new location, no guards. This might be my chance. I was a lot better equipped now if I got hold of a firearm, and all I needed was to get to a phone. I’d have a way better shot at it than staying here, where I was most likely going to be confined to the house after my little stunt.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and stood on my toes, not having to work too hard to feign excitement.
“I can’t believe it,” I said, my breathiness having more to do with being pressed against his hard body again than my plan. “A real honeymoon?”
The pleased smile on his face looked so real that my chest hitched a little. What if he was only trying to make me happy and nothing was wrong at all?
Yeah, right. Maybe if I were the heroine in one of my books.
This was real, and I was Gavril’s prisoner, his forced bride, not his beloved wife.
I had to remember that and remember it well.
I may have been getting tougher, but I still had to build up the courage to incapacitate him enough to get away and make that all-important call for help.
Could I find it in me to actually aim a gun at Gavril? And then pull the trigger?