Chapter 33 - Tatiana
Over the next couple of days, I felt better than I ever had, all things considered. My father was still missing, and there were no new leads, but telling Kon about the source of the nightmares that had been plaguing me for years left me feeling light and free.
The memories no longer held power over me.
The past was just that. It couldn’t hurt me anymore.
With someone like Kon around, nothing could hurt me.
The man left writhing in pain on the nightclub floor could attest to that.
That kind of raw passion both confused me and drove me wild, and that part of his protective nature I was beginning to like too much.
The morning after the nightclub incident, he brought me breakfast in bed, and it was difficult to believe that this big teddy bear with a tray loaded down with pancakes was the same man who simmered with fury when someone else touched me.
The cut on his knuckles was the only evidence, and he rolled his eyes when I asked if it hurt. “That idiot must have had a soft head. I don’t feel a thing.”
I forgot all about babying him when I saw what else lay on the tray beside the glass of orange juice and bowl of fresh fruit.
“My phone,” I said, beaming at him. He beamed right back, taking my breath away with how damn handsome he was when he wasn’t scowling. Okay, he was still gorgeous when he was scowling, which he did as soon as I reached for the phone.
“Eat first. We need to make a plan.”
I couldn’t hold back my excitement as he poured a generous amount of syrup on my pancakes. We were finally on the same page, and I could almost see us working together for a lot longer, maybe a lifetime.
Except, what would happen when we found my father?
Would I no longer be useful? What if Papa really did betray Kon?
What then? I couldn’t even believe I thought such a thing.
Was he getting to me, making me doubt what I knew to be true?
Ridiculous. My feelings for Kon, whatever the hell they were, could never sway my loyalty to Papa.
None of that was important. Getting those messages out was. And I couldn’t do that until I finished eating, according to Kon.
I shoveled in the food, finding it faster and easier to do what he wanted in order to get what I wanted. When I choked on a big gulp of juice, he laughed and pounded me on the back.
“I don’t want you to get your hopes up. Remember, I’ve been monitoring your phone.”
“But it could be that Papa’s waiting for me to reach out. He told me not to talk to anyone.”
Kon grumbled. “Very good advice. He’d be pissed at me for letting you do this.”
He paused, frowning. I pretended not to know what he was thinking. Papa would be pissed at him for a lot of things right now. Part of me wanted to believe that was why Kon was clinging so tenaciously to Papa’s so-called betrayal. So he didn’t have to be the one in the wrong.
He went over some ground rules while I finished my breakfast. He’d only allow me to use the phone in his presence, but he’d continue monitoring it in case someone answered.
He had very specific questions I could ask the few people he was letting me reach out to, and he made it clear when he finally handed over the phone that he’d be hovering the whole time I typed.
My first message was to Papa, and there was so much I wanted to tell him, but of course, I had to admit Kon was right that it wouldn’t be wise in case someone else had control of his phone.
“So you admit he may be a prisoner,” I said, not feeling at all triumphant. I hated thinking of Papa suffering in a cell.
“I admit nothing that I don’t know for certain, but anything is possible,” he said, making sure I only entered the approved questions.
Where are you? Are you all right? I’m in Moscow, all is well with me, but please answer.
He pressed send himself, as if I’d add in a few more words without his approval. A kernel of anger was simmering. I thought I was part of the team, that I was helping. He noticed my darkening look.
“I could just as easily send these messages pretending to be you, couldn’t I? But I’m keeping you in the loop like I promised.”
“You could act like you trusted me a little bit more, though,” I said.
He didn’t answer, but gave me a pained look that actually had me feeling guilty, which I shoved right away.
I sent messages to Klara, who was Papa’s assistant and should have known everything there was to know about his life.
He’d either kept her in the dark about why he disappeared, or she was part of it somehow.
It was the same message I sent to my father, nothing more. Kon wouldn’t let me mention Riku, even though he knew about the deleted message from Klara telling me his name. It was starting to be infuriating.
“We’re just trying to get someone to answer us,” Kon said,
It was easy for him to be calm; he was only after revenge and money. This was my family. I sent a few shorter messages to some of Papa’s associates in Moscow, though I didn’t expect anything back from them.
“You’d be more likely to get an answer from those guys,” I said.
“That’s where you’d be wrong,” he said. “I already tried. They might feel some kind of loyalty to you as Grigor’s child. We’ll just have to wait and see.”
“Oh, good, more of that.” I grumpily watched him put my phone back in a wall safe, his back hiding the panel so I couldn’t see the code.
For the next few days, every morning and evening, Kon checked the phone, telling me it was futile to keep sending messages until we got a reply.
Not a single person answered, at least not anything helpful.
One of Papa’s cronies told me to keep out of it, then actually blocked my number when I tried to call, Kon leaning in close as we put the phone on speaker.
Once again, we were at a dead end, and Kon wasn’t budging on letting me reach out to anyone else.
It was looking more and more like I was an orphan, and desperation made me lash out at dinner, not even looking forward to when Kon opened the safe afterward to let me look at a whole bunch of nothing on my phone.
“It’s time to contact Riku,” I said. Did I think my forceful tone and hard stare would sway him? It was more hope than anything else, and Kon’s stormy look doused that fast enough.
“No, it isn’t,” he said. “It’s never going to be that time.”
“It’s the only road we have left. I have a plan. How can it hurt to send a simple message? It might help you find him if nothing else.”
He winced, pissed off for days that he and his team of experts couldn’t track Riku. He was as hidden as we were, and he didn’t like it. I hated it. That was why I wanted to try something different. And I was going to make Kon listen.
I stared at him so long, my chest heaving with barely contained frustration, that he finally set down his fork. “You’re going to burst. Just spit it out so I can tell you all the reasons it won’t work.”
God, he was infuriating. Well, he’d see that this was our only recourse, and it would work. “Just let me message him. Same deal, you can hover over me, breathing down my neck the whole time.”
He looked offended. “If I were breathing down your neck, you’d be forgetting all about your phone.”
Shaking my head at his obvious attempt to distract me, I plowed on. “I’m only saying I don’t care if you see exactly what I tell him. I’m trying to be completely transparent here, because I want to make him believe I’m ready to play ball and betray you. Your whole family, actually.”
He wasn’t expecting that. His mouth dropped open, and he quickly snapped it shut, eyes blazing. “What?”
“In exchange for information. That’s all.”
“But what would make you think of offering that?”
“Because it’s what he wants.”
His eyes narrowed, his mouth set in a firm line, no longer interested in distracting me with jokes.
Leaning back in his chair, he stared at me, everything about him suddenly ice cold.
He didn’t think it was a good plan at all, and not because it might fail.
Because he believed I’d actually work with Riku to betray his family.
He still didn’t trust me. We could never be what I truly wanted. He was making it very clear we weren’t on the same side at all.