Chapter 43 - Tatiana
I was in and out of consciousness as the doctor patched me up, surprisingly gentle despite always having a grouchy look on his face or muttering something unpleasant whenever I opened my eyes.
The bed I was on was soft and the air cool, with a hint of orange blossoms wafting in sometimes to cover up the smell of the ointment the doctor slathered on my bruises.
Sometimes it was dark when I opened my eyes, sometimes there was bright sun streaming in through the window next to my bed, but always, always, there was Kon.
Either sitting in the armchair, pulled up close to my bed, his hand resting on the blankets beside me, or standing over me with a look of concern, that always melted into a smile when he saw I was awake.
I wanted to speak, to reach out to him, but either I was more badly hurt than I thought, or the doctor had me sedated.
All I could do was sleep and heal, according to Kon.
“Get better, love,” he said every time.
Love. He said he loved me, and that wasn’t part of one of the many dreams I drifted in and out of. That was real. Nothing else seemed to matter besides that, and seeing his smile whenever I woke up.
It had to have been several days, according to the patterns of darkness and light, but the next time I opened my eyes, I no longer felt overly heavy or groggy. Kon murmured sounds of worry when I heaved myself up, tugging on the pillows under my head.
“I’m sick of lying flat on my back,” I grumbled.
He beamed as he helped me arrange the pillows so I could sit up, and I was only a bit breathless when I was settled.
The curtains on the window shifted in the breeze, bringing in more orange blossom scent.
I took a deep breath as I saw a small group of orange trees just outside the house.
Then I turned to him and reached for his hand at the same time as he held it out.
“It’s good to see you alert and hear you complaining,” he said, brushing some hair behind my ear.
Oh God, I must look like I’d been through a hurricane. Actually, that might not have been so bad. Then it all rushed back.
“How’s Papa?” I asked, trying to get out of bed.
“He’s fine, getting better every day. You can see him later. Just let me look at you right now so that I know you’re okay.”
“Of course I’m okay.”
“You were asleep for three days,” he said. “The doctor said it was fine, but…”
“There you go, worrying too much again.”
He finally leaned over to kiss me, and I kept my mouth tightly shut despite longing to let him devour me. My breath had to be worse than cow dung. He pulled away laughing.
“Of course, I worry about you. I always will. What I won’t ever care about is how you think you look or anything like that.”
“Not even cow dung breath?”
“You taste better than those oranges out there,” he said, nodding toward the window. “And you look like a goddess of health and vitality.” His eyes grew serious, and he squeezed my hand. “I won’t lose you ever again.”
At the sound of his voice cracking, I squeezed back. “You never lost me. I made a mistake. I won’t ever run again. If I think you’re being stupid, I’ll stick around and tell you.”
He laughed, kissing me again, but on the cheek. “And I’ll try not to be stupid, how’s that?”
“I think we have a deal.”
Now it was my turn to grow serious. “I didn’t really mean how was Papa’s health. I know how strong he is. I meant, how pissed off is he?”
Kon sighed, all the happiness of a moment before draining out of him. “He’s not happy with me. It’s pretty bad, actually.”
He shook his head, looking out the window, but his thoughts were obviously on something other than the view. I had seen him upset, pissed off, and definitely annoyed, but this was something deeper, like sorrow.
My stomach sank. “You’re not going to do something stupid right after you promised you’d stop, are you?” I asked, holding tight to his hand, which had gone limp in mine. “Something like let me go for my own good?”
His eyes shot to mine, but the laughter I hoped for never came. “I love you, Tati. I want you. I can’t fucking live without you. But not if you’re unhappy. Not if you have to give anything up.”
So things were that bad with Papa. Before I could find an argument or a way to reassure him, my stomach forgot how upset I was and growled loudly. If I were asleep for three days, I must not have been eating, either.
Kon actually looked relieved and stood up. “You’ve barely had a few sips of broth in all this time,” he said briskly. “I’ll bring you something you can actually chew.”
I shook my head and swung my legs over the side of the bed. “No way. I want out of this room.”
I was serious, but my legs weren’t cooperating, buckling under me as soon as my weight was on them.
I grabbed for the nearest thing to hold me up, which happened to be Kon.
With a chuckle, he swept me into his arms, and instead of depositing me back on the bed, he gave me a robe to wrap around myself and carried me to the kitchen.
It was much larger than the one at the beach house, bathed in sunlight that sparkled off the quartz tiles. I was looking forward to whatever Kon rustled up for me, but my stomach went back to rolling over when we rounded the corner, and I saw Papa sitting in a cozy booth, reading a book.
He slapped it down and rumbled at my mode of travel, but he eagerly started to rise, getting caught up behind the table with all the bandages he still had wrapped around his chest, arms and hands.
It hurt to see him like that, the strong bear of a man who used to effortlessly swing me around.
He’d been injured before, but this was the first time I was ever allowed to see the extent of the damage he had taken in his line of work.
No wonder he didn’t want me to have any part of it. But I was no longer that little girl, and staying away from that life was impossible now, since my life was with Kon. Could he get past his anger and accept that?
He was definitely much stronger than when I first laid eyes on him after the rescue, barely able to stand and still trying to attack Kon.
Remaining half standing, he looked like he might start throwing punches all over again until Kon set me down across from him.
Papa reached for my hand and hastily wiped tears out of his eyes, before glaring at me, then Kon, then back at me.
Yeah, he was pissed. Really pissed. My heart constricted as I watched him war with his love for me and his disappointment and anger at my betrayal of all he ever taught me.
“He wouldn’t let me see you,” he said.
“Don’t lie to her,” Kon replied calmly as he cracked some eggs into a pan.
“He only let me peek in, said I’d upset you if I came in the room,” Papa argued.
“You’re upsetting me now, Papa.”
“Will you please let her eat before you two get into it?” Kon asked, putting a plate full of croissants in front of me while the eggs cooked.
“I’ve told you we’re leaving as soon as she’s well enough to travel,” Papa said, rising again. “I’ll make the arrangements right now.”
“Sit back down,” I told him, hastily adding, “Please. I’m not well enough to travel. Kon wasn’t carrying me for fun. And even if I was, I’m not going anywhere.”
“Tatiana,” he said, the end of my full name rising with his voice.
“No. I may be your child, but I’m not a child anymore. You have to accept my decisions.”
“This isn’t like dropping out of college. This is the rest of your life. I won’t let you throw it away.”
Kon made a noise, but I sliced my hand at him to keep him out of this.
I’d let him protect me from many things, but not my own father.
“I don’t see it as throwing it away. I see it as the only thing that will make me truly happy.
I’ve been sheltered too long. I don’t want to be hidden away anymore, afraid of shadows. ”
“I did that to keep you safe.”
“Kon will keep me safe,” I said. “And I’m not completely helpless.”
“Not at all,” Kon piped up, raising his brows at me. “Do you know what she was doing when I rushed in to rescue her?” When my father finally looked at him, he answered. “Breaking out on her own. Another minute or two and she’d have been free.”
He was exaggerating. Another minute or two and I would have passed out. If I managed to get out of the house, I might have made it ten feet before collapsing in the grass.
“We make a good team,” I conceded, smiling at him.
My father cleared his throat, looking like he might throw up his breakfast at our little display.
Papa stood up, shaking his head. “I don’t like it,” he said under his breath. “And neither will you in a few months… or years. I only hope you live that long.”
“You’re wrong, Papa. But I won’t hold it over your head when you realize it. And I hope you and Kon can keep doing business together. You two are a good team too, and you know it.”
He stomped out as best he could, not saying another word. Kon sank down beside me and reached for my hand, ready to console me, but I was beaming when I turned to him.
“That went all right, actually,” I said.
“It did?” he asked incredulously. “Because it looked to me like he walked out on you.”
“Yes, but he didn’t call you any names or tell me how foolish I’m being. You know him as well as I do. If there was more fight in him, he’d still be here fighting. He’ll come around.”
Kon’s serious face slowly gave way to a tentative smile. “I hope so. It’ll be hell to dissolve all those partnerships if he doesn’t. It’d be easier if he were—”
I swatted his arm. “Don’t you dare say something you don’t mean.”
Ignoring his suddenly teasing mood, I took a bite of croissant, reminding Kon that he was cooking eggs. He got up, grimacing as he tilted the pan toward me. Burned to the bottom of it.
“I’ll make more,” he said, reaching into the fridge.
“No, come and sit with me instead. It feels like I haven’t talked to you in days.”
It really had been days, with only his sturdy presence always nearby to reassure me. I wanted that now, even if he was only ten feet away by the stove.
He was at my side in an instant, like the times I woke up screaming from nightmares of a past that was dead and buried. No one could hurt me now as long as I let Kon do his thing and protect me.
I leaned over and rested my head against his shoulder, looking out the big picture window to the manicured grounds outside.
He scooted his chair closer and put his arm around me, and we sat in silence while I finished my pastry.
I wanted to hear him say he loved me some more, and cast my mind back to when he first told me.
Everything after was a blur, but I didn’t think I said it back.
Tipping up my chin, I waited for him to look down at me. When his gray eyes met mine, I saw everything I needed to know, right there.
“I love you,” I said, my cheeks warming with the rush of it.
He kissed me softly, then turned, his mouth more urgent. If it felt like days that we hadn’t spoken, it seemed more like years since we kissed like this. I needed it as much as I needed all that healing sleep.
His tongue swept along my lower lip, and his fingers smoothed over my tangled hair. Before I knew it, I was on his lap, nestled against him as he teased my lips apart. I opened them eagerly, wrapping my arms around his neck, feeling his strength and warmth flow into me.
I finally leaned back, weak from more than just the kiss. There was still so much between us. “Did you ever find Riku?”
He shook his head, and I apologized. Maybe if I did something different, this would all be over now. Kon ran his hands down my arms and shook his head, as if he read my thoughts and disagreed with them.
“It doesn’t matter because we’ve pretty much decimated his forces here. He can have Tokyo as long as he stays far away from LA, or wherever we decide to settle down.”
“We?” I asked. “You’d let me stay here?”
“Did I forget to tell you that I can’t live without you in the last five minutes? I love you, Tati. You said it yourself, and you were right. We’re a great team.”
His eyebrows shot up as if he forgot something, and he reached into his jeans pocket, holding something in his closed fist. He held it out to me and then opened his hand, a smile on his face and a glint in his charcoal eyes.
A diamond ring lay in his palm, shiny platinum and fiery sparkle. The stone was round and as big as my thumbnail, the facets throwing off the sunlight as he moved his hand.
“What do you say? Partners for life? Will you marry me, Tati?”
“Partners for life,” I repeated, happy tears welling up.
“There’d be no stopping us. A true family business,” he said, his heart rate kicking up a notch as I rested against his chest, mesmerized by the beautiful ring, and by the visions of what we could get up to together.
No more sheltered life for me, but one of infinite happiness and no lack of excitement.
“Yes,” I told him with a joyous sob.
There was nothing else to say, no need for any more words.