Chapter 36 - Mikhail
Oh, fuck. My face must have looked worse than I thought.
Damn it, I never should have let her see me like this.
It would have been just as easy to make sure she was all right by calling the guards I had swarming the place.
I let my fear take over my common sense, but how else was I supposed to react when someone told me there was a bounty on my wife’s head?
“Laurel,” I said firmly when it was clear she was on the verge of losing it at the sight of me.
She made a terrible sound, sinking to the floor. Fuck.
I caught her before she cracked her head, but she was out cold. I gathered her close and held her for a moment, reassuring myself by the steady rise and fall of her chest. She had just passed out, that was all. All because I couldn’t keep from laying eyes on her to make sure she was all right.
And now she wasn’t. Except, she was already worked up when I entered the room. Standing with her hands out like she was getting ready to fight off an advancing foe, and looking like she’d just been jerked awake from a nightmare.
“Damn it,” I muttered.
This wasn’t just me. She was living under a hanging blade, and fearful that any moment the rope could snap and bring it down on her neck. Rand Eckvald had to die for this to be over, so she never had to look that terrified again.
The start of that had to be the truth, all of it. Everything my family did, and had been doing for generations. I could claim a small sliver of innocence, but I did my part. I reaped the benefits of being born into a major crime family. And I could never change who I was.
After a moment, I lifted her and carried her upstairs, but not to the guest room.
She was my wife, and soon she’d understand what that meant.
No more pretending this wasn’t real. As soon as I had her tucked under the covers, with her silky hair spread out on the pillow like a golden fan, I hurried downstairs for an ice pack, some water, and a few light snacks in case she woke up.
I didn’t know what the hell I was doing, didn’t know how to help her or even what was wrong. I only knew I had to be by her side, as if watching her could keep her safe. Pulling up a chair to the bedside, I sat down, slapped the ice pack against my face, and settled my eyes on her as she lay there.
If I hadn’t rushed home, she’d be peacefully asleep right now, not in a fitful state of unconsciousness.
Or maybe she wouldn’t. There was no mistaking the fact that she’d been crying, and seeing the tracks on her face made my fists clench.
If only I could chase away whatever bothered her with violence.
Not what she wanted or needed, but it was the way I was used to solving things.
If the fear continued to haunt her even after I got rid of Rand, then what did I do? All my easy answers didn’t make sense in the real world. I couldn’t kill every single person who looked at her funny. I couldn’t keep her in this house forever.
All I could do was reach for her hand and hold on. Close to dawn, when a sliver of orange light crept in through the slats of the blinds, she opened her eyes. I leaned in, ready to show her I was right here, still holding her hand.
She blinked, swallowed hard, then whimpered and rolled over, curling into a ball.
“Laurel,” I said softly. “Please. It’s me.”
“I can’t,” she whispered, her shoulders beginning to shake.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”
She shook her head. “It’s not you. I’m broken.”
“Stop it,” I told her, more harshly than I meant. “You’re not.”
She rolled back to face me, looking past me instead of at me, fresh tears silently falling from her eyes.
“My parents hated each other. They still do. They were just always fighting. And when they weren’t, I waited for it to start again, like when you see lightning and hold your breath, counting down to the thunder. ”
“I’m sorry,” I said again, the only thing I could think to say. I would have given everything I owned and half my life to change things for her.
“The only thing they agreed on was how worthless I was. They tried for another kid, but it never happened, so they let me know how awful it was to be stuck with just me.”
“Fucking hell, Laurel,” I said, burning with anger on her behalf. What little I remembered of my parents being together before my mother died was a quiet disdain for each other. And my father always doted on us, making up for my mother’s shortcomings.
She tucked her head down to her chest, her hair falling across her face. “When I got away and thought I could find peace, I found Rand instead.”
“You don’t have to worry about him anymore,” I told her, once again more harshly than I meant to.
She didn’t believe me, and was shutting down again, curling more and more into herself. I was only making things worse. She needed quiet and normalcy and the peace she craved, not a battered giant looming over her with a glare on his face.
Smoothing her hair away from her cheeks, I pulled the covers back up around her and left the room, flinching when I heard her soft sobs.
This had to end. If it was the last thing I did, I’d make sure she knew at least part of what tormented her was gone.
And then I’d find a way to make the rest not matter so much.
I went to the security office out in the garage, telling the guards to stay on high alert. “No one gets in,” I said. “Unless they’re a member of my family, and even then, I want a call.”
“You got it,” Georgiy said, fully recovered from his head wound and back to being my head of security.
“But don’t let Laurel know anything’s different,” I said. “Business as usual where she’s concerned.”
The whole plan to tell her the entire truth had to be put on the back burner, maybe tossed completely, at least for now. The last thing she needed in her state was to know her ex had put out a reward for her capture, or that he was now working with the group that was bothering my family.
But I did need to come up with a plan, and that meant I still had to be honest, this time with my cousins.
They needed to know everything about Laurel’s ex, so we could concentrate our efforts on finding him.
In turn, we might be able to locate the head of this rogue faction that was getting far too much of a toehold in Fokin territory.
Either way, Rand was going to end up dead, because in my eyes, if he was after Laurel, he was the biggest threat. No one messed with what was mine.