Chapter 14
When I’d laid down to rest, I hadn’t necessarily intended to sleep.
However, when I woke, it was to discover that most of the day had slipped away.
The light filtering through the drapes of the tall bedroom windows suggested the sun had already sunk low over the back of the house.
It gave the air the sort of tangible quality I always associated with dusk, casting a hazy velvet hue over everything.
It made me want to close my eyes and snuggle down under the blanket Sidney must have draped over me hours ago when he’d come to check on me.
Except there was something …
Some sense that I’d woken for a reason. My thoughts were sluggish, yet at the periphery of my awareness there was something tugging me toward wakefulness. A feeling … I wasn’t alone.
Memories of the past week, of where I was and why, flooded through my mind. So rather than turn my head to search the shadows, I remained still. Watching. Listening. Waiting.
And then a familiar scent tickled my nostrils. A man’s cologne. One that wasn’t my husband’s.
Irritation spiked through me. “Alec,” I growled in a low voice. “What the devil are you doing in here?”
The lamp on Sidney’s side of the bed clicked on and I blinked into the brightness as I turned to see Captain Alec Xavier sitting in the chair next to it.
I hadn’t seen him since the morning I’d been hauled away to the Castle when he and Michael Collins had been standing amidst the crowd gathered in the street outside.
Collins had been restraining him, wisely counseling him that there was nothing he could do that wouldn’t see him shot or arrested as well.
Alec must have listened to the rebel leader’s advice, for he looked unharmed.
He’d always been an attractive enough fellow.
Dangerous with the ladies. Or rather, with most ladies.
He wore the garments of an Irish working man with his dark hair tucked under a flat cap.
I waited for him to flash his roguish smile, but his lips remained clamped in a thin line and his normally laughing brown eyes didn’t twinkle.
“I know full well that Sidney didn’t allow you in here.
And if he finds you, he’ll skin you alive,” I provoked, gingerly scooting backward so that I was in more of an upright position.
I adjusted my clothing, grateful I hadn’t decided to undress, and kept the blanket draped over my lap where my skirt had rucked up.
“Have you forgotten? I’ve seen you in bed before, darling.”
I scowled at him, furious he would bring that up now, but also slightly relieved that he wasn’t so lost in his somber daze that he’d ignored the opportunity to make such a jest. It couldn’t be so bad if some of his irreverence remained.
“Say that once Sidney joins us and see how far it gets you,” I challenged.
His lips quirked into a humorless grin. He was aware there were no secrets between me and Sidney.
I’d confessed that I’d slept with Alec at a particularly dark moment during the fifteen months I’d believed Sidney was dead.
It had happened just once, and I’d immediately regretted it, but Alec seemed determined to never let me forget.
“Who says Sidney’s going to join us?” he retorted.
I arched my eyebrows. “Shall I scream for him?”
“Only if you want to see my nose broken and my teeth knocked loose.” For all that he spoke lightly, I could sense the sincerity behind his words. He was also blaming himself for my being detained and evidently felt some sort of punishment was in order.
I grunted in exasperation. “Not you, too.” I looked up toward the canopy over the bed. “Heaven preserve me from overprotective males!”
Alec didn’t seem to appreciate being lumped in with all the others. “You know I despise self-pitying remarks, Ver. But the truth is, you wouldn’t be here except for me.”
“Oh, dry up!” I stated defiantly, startling him. “We knew from Smith that the phosgene was in Dublin, so chances are that Sidney and I would have wound up here anyway, with or without you.”
“Yes, but—”
I sliced my hand through the air. “If you’re simply here to apologize, you can beat it. Didn’t you read today’s papers? I’m full up on apologies.”
“First time I’ve seen the Castle issue one,” he confessed after a moment’s silence. “Makes me wonder what happened to you in there.”
I turned away from his penetrating gaze, crossing my arms over my chest.
“Especially now that I’ve found you resting in the middle of the day. You’ve never been a dosser,” he continued quietly when I didn’t respond. “Not when there’s things to be done. Urgent things.” He paused. “Truth be told, I thought Sidney would’ve spirited you out of here the moment he could.”
A lump had formed in my throat, and I had to swallow hard before I could speak. “Yes, well, we’re not being allowed to leave Dublin.”
He cursed most foully and when I turned to look at him, I could see dark emotions glinting in his eyes. “What are they asking of you?”
I’d noticed Alec’s dialect had reverted to the upper-class British accent I’d always believed to be his natural voice rather than the Dublin brogue he’d been affecting since arriving in Ireland.
But he was a chameleon, able to shift personas with astonishing ease, and in all honesty, I was no longer certain which was the real Alec.
Perhaps he let me believe his posh accent was the authentic one because it was what I was most comfortable with.
“Kent left a message saying we should avoid our usual haunts for the time being,” he prompted.
“I worried they might have followed me, or someone might have recognized me and reported it.”
He nodded slowly, sensing I had more to say.
I plucked at the blanket draped over my lap. “They know you’re alive, Alec. Someone saw you. A former colleague, it seems. They questioned my reports that you were likely dead.”
Alec’s voice deepened. “Only questioned you?”
I flicked my wrist, unwilling to discuss my interrogation. “I had to convince them that you’re still on our side.” I glared at him, imparting the importance of this. “Just deeply embedded.”
“And they believed you?”
“I don’t know.”
“But they let you go. At least … temporarily.”
I turned away again because Alec had always seen too much. But it was too late.
His voice was guarded. “What did you have to promise them?”
I heaved an aggrieved sigh. “They want me to gather intelligence on Collins and the other republicans. It was a condition of my release.”
I waited for Alec to snap at me, to invoke our shared history and the danger of the assignments we’d faced together, to remind me of the promises I’d made to him and Collins, but I should have known he would be more practical.
“Then we’ll simply have to feed you obsolete info.
Things that are true enough that they stand up to scrutiny but won’t endanger anyone.
” He must have noted my surprise, for he added, “You wouldn’t be the first we’ve had to do so with.
” He tilted his head, scrutinizing me. “Or are you more shocked I’m not questioning your loyalty?
” His eyebrows arched. “You forget, Ver. I know you. I know how fiercely devoted you are to your loved ones, your friends, your word, your duty, but ultimately … to the truth.”
I didn’t know how to respond to this. It seemed everyone knew my mind before I did these days.
That I would lie to my superiors and protect the rebels.
My stomach cramped, nearly certain this was betrayal and treason, yet unable to follow the orders regardless.
Not when my conscience couldn’t square with it.
Alec glowered. “Though all in all, I’d rather you were out of Dublin … out of Ireland, entirely.” He sat back, resting one ankle over the other leg’s knee. “I take it they’re keeping a close eye on you then, watching the house.”
“More than likely.” This recalled me to my initial alarm at his presence. “How did you get in?”
He bobbed his head toward the wall behind him.
“Through the neighboring town house.” He grinned at my consternation.
“Yes, I know about your hole in the wall through the wardrobe. Quite ingenious that.” He sobered.
“I was careful not to be seen. Slipped in through the garden while it was still dark and then I had to bide my time until Ryde left me an opening and Kent wasn’t hovering at your side.
” He shifted in his chair, stretching his back.
“Though I have to say, the beds over there aren’t the most comfortable. ”
I stared at him, fixated on what he’d said about it still being dark. “You’ve been waiting to speak to me since last night?”
“Since just before dawn, yes.” His gaze was uncomfortably direct. “I needed to see for myself that you were unharmed. Or … if not unharmed … that at least you would recover.”
Once again, I was robbed of words. I had known that Alec cared for me as more than a friend and former colleague.
Even Collins was aware of the fact, teasing him mercilessly.
I’d hoped time would dull his regard, because I loved Sidney.
Ardently. But the brightness and fervency in his whisky-brown eyes told me his feelings hadn’t changed.
“Alec …” I began gently.
“I presume Kent gave them hell.”
I allowed him to redirect me. “Yes.”
“Good.” His jaw firmed. “You know, we would have gotten you out had they not released you. We were formulating a plan. Except they kept moving you. But we would have gotten you out,” he reiterated.
“The attempt would have been suicidal,” I retorted. “I certainly hope Collins wouldn’t have signed off on something so foolish.”
“Of course, he would,” he stated with a confidence that terrified me. “Mick loves a good prison break. He’s orchestrated more than a few of them.”
I shook my head angrily. “Stupid and rash. The pair of you were made for each other.”