Chapter 22
Peter
“It’s so peaceful here,” Molly says, and I hug her tightly against my chest as I look out at the view in front of us.
Peaceful is the perfect word to describe the scene before us.
Ever since Molly entered my life, especially as a constant support, I’ve felt more at peace than in a long time.
We’re currently sitting outside, Molly in my lap, and looking out over the small lake located at the back of the cabin I rented for the night.
The water is sparkling as the sun shines down on it, the birds chirping in the background as we sit there.
I bring my hand lower to her stomach, and I get the sudden urge to ask her about what she envisions our future to look like.
Part of me is terrified to find out, afraid if we’re not aligned.
At the same time, is she the woman for me, and I’d do about anything for her if she’d have me.
“Do you think you’ll want kids?” I ask her, my voice trembling as I feel my chest expand with nerves.
I’m fucking terrified I’d inherited the addiction gene from my father, and I don’t know if that’s something that could be passed down to my own children if we ever have them.
What if I turn out like my father?
What if the noise inside my head on a day gets too loud and I turn to drugs like him to tone it down?
Molly, knowing me better than I know myself, turns slightly to me, her expression a curious one as she looks at me.
“I don’t know. What do you want?”
Opening up to someone, when you’re used to keeping it all in, can still feel a little daunting.
But this isn’t just anyone.
This is Molly.
Who’s everything and more for me.
And who’s proven time again how she’ll handle anything I tell her.
“I’m afraid I’ll become like my father,” I say, the words bitter on my tongue.
I can’t imagine myself becoming like him.
But sometimes life doesn’t work out the way you envision for yourself. And if I ever did something to hurt Molly, I’d never live it down.
She turns more to me, the understanding dawning on her as she takes in my words. Then, she lays her hands on my face as she always does whenever I’m dealing with inner turmoil.
The touch steadies me.
She steadies me.
“Peter. You’re nothing like him, and you’re never going to be. Even when things got cruel and dark, you’ve never turned to the same coping mechanisms as him. You’ve chosen yourself, your mom and you’ve chosen me,” she says before putting a hand on top of my heart.
Instinctively, I put my own over hers as she puts more pressure into the touch.
“What matters is who’s inside here. And even if you don’t always see it yourself, you’re kind of stuck with me now, and I’ll continue reminding you. Every. Single. Day.”
The last part makes me smile.
There’s no one else I’d rather be stuck with than her.
I softly bring my lips to hers, pouring my gratitude and longing for this woman into it.
“You’re kind of stuck with me, too, girlfriend,” I tell her, before I bring my lips down her throat, pressing a kiss to the skin beneath her ear.
She giggles as I drag my stubble across her skin, tickling her.
“Sounds perfect.”
～
Racing in Europe may be the highlight of the season.
Legendary tracks, varied weather conditions, and passionate fans like no other.
After Asia, we jetted straight to Belgium and one of my favourite tracks on the calendar, Spa.
We’ve just finished media duties after our first free practice when Ryan comes over and asks me if I’m up for some FIFA before the next practice.
The rain is pouring down outside the garage, so spending our time playing some video games sounds perfect.
Molly will be busy with work for a few hours making cool edits of me—and the other drivers, of course, but the best ones are for me.
“Sure.”
“You got a spot extra?” comes from Luke, who must have overheard from his spot in the garage next to ours. At first, I’m surprised to hear him ask, but I’m quickly up for the idea knowing Molly’s best friend is Luke’s girlfriend.
I know Molly would be ecstatic to learn that we’re on better terms. I guess we were never on bad terms, just hard competitors, with me pulling some dirty tricks. Luke was simply the biggest contender, which meant he got the worst of it.
Still, I’m doing things differently now.
And I’m grateful that Luke seems willing to bury the hatchet as well.
“Yeah, sure, man.”
Luke invites Hayden as well, his teammate, and we huddle in my driver’s room to play.
As soon as the game is on the TV, we’re simply a group of guys enjoying a video game.
“Your girlfriend said she felt like she was cheating when I crashed her and Molly’s lunch date a while back,” I tell him, and Luke starts chuckling.
I guess he sees it the same way I do.
“You did pull some asshole stunts last year, but I guess that’s part of the bad boy reputation,” he says, and I’m grateful that he doesn’t seem to hold a grudge.
Especially now that I have my own girl who’s close with his girlfriend.
“For what it’s worth, I am sorry about that, but you got your girl,” I say sheepishly.
“An apology from Peter Centimo himself. The world must be ending,” he says, and I push him lightly as we chuckle.
I’ve come a long way since the man I was last year.
When we’re ready to select our players, I go for Sebastian Bennet, but Luke stops me.
“Hell no. He’s my best friend, which means I’ll play as him.”
What the hell?
Is Luke best friends with the famous football player?
“You know him?” Ryan asks, his own excitement peeking through.
We’re both major fans of his team, and ever since he transferred there, they’ve gotten ever better.
“Grew up together. Now, he’s together with my sister, so we’re basically family in every way.”
Well, shit.
I learn something new every day.
I’ve been wanting to get Ryan some tickets for his birthday and turn it into a trip.
Maybe Luke can help me out.
“He’s together with your sister?” Hayden asks, his eyes wide.
He seems more shocked by that revelation than by Luke having a famous football player as his best friend.
“Yeah. They’ve been tiptoeing around each other ever since we were little. Then he helped her out with a school project and now they’re engaged to be married soon.”
Well, damn.
Love is blooming in the Hastings family.
～
“Good luck, baby,” Molly murmurs against my lips.
I love these moments together just before I leave the car and get ready for the upcoming race.
Just the two of us, enjoying each other’s presence for a few minutes before the responsibilities of the day await.
“Thank you. I’ll hopefully secure some more points. I’d like that championship sooner rather than later,” I tell her.
We have Belgium, Austria, and Hungary coming up before our summer break.
I’d like to have a strong hold on my lead going into the summer.
That way, I could potentially win the title in Miami.
“You will. I’m sure of it,” Molly says with a smile as I press my lips against hers one last time before we leave the car.
Having someone else rooting for you and being a steady support is something I didn’t envision for myself going into this season.
I was prepared to do it all alone.
Having Molly and Arthur as part of my growth has been what I needed. Even if I struggled with coming to terms with that at first.
And experiencing both the highs and the lows—without having to deal with it all alone—has been even better.
At first, I considered going into therapy, but I was too scared to do so.
Afraid of how it would be to talk to someone about my family past.
Especially a stranger.
Then Molly and Arthur came along, and over time, I’ve been able to let them in.
Now, I don’t necessarily feel the need to talk to a professional, but I’m certain Molly would be there to support me if I decided to do it.
Right now, though, having her is all I need.
～
I push down the brake as soon as I see the yellow flag.
Another one.
Racing in the pouring rain means many drivers don’t finish the race and crash.
I’ve always loved racing in the rain.
Pushing the limits of the car.
Experiencing the adrenaline as I go full throttle, aiming for a high reward, but knowing it could end just as quickly.
I’m currently sitting in P5, but the safety car coming out once again will make for a good shot at climbing.
As the grid gathers again, I take a deep breath, finding my focus as I get ready for the final push.
When the lights turn green, I push down the gas, hoping I’ll be able to pass the driver in front of me by the end of the main straight.
Just as I’m up at his side, we’re nearing the first corner, and as I don’t want to risk a crash, I let him through first, aiming to take him on the next straight.
As we turn the corner, the rear of his car slips, giving me an opening as he regains control of his car.
I overtake him, moving up into P4.
One more overtake, and I’ll be on the podium.
My race engineer lets me know over the radio that I’m currently 0.8 seconds behind the driver in front.
Five more laps to do this.
My body is heavy in the seat, both from the exhaustion of a long race and the weight of the water in my racing suit.
The clouds are stormy and grey, casting a darkness over the track, creating an illusion of racing during nighttime.
Just as I’m nearing the driver in front, ready to push past, I feel my own car slipping from underneath me.
I luckily regain control, managing to avoid spinning and crashing.
“Fuck,” I mutter.
That was close.
I really don’t want to crash.
A crash means no points.
But I’m not one to back down and give up.
I got two more laps.
I will make that podium.
In the next DRS zone, I’m again within a second of him, but I’m not close enough to make it past.
Which means I’ll have to do it in the last round.
The audience is in for a treat if I manage to pull this off.
“You got it,” comes my race engineer over the radio.
He knows—just like me—that I won’t give up.
Down the straight, I push all I’ve got, focusing on the corner and being ahead at the apex.
When I make it past, I focus ahead, blocking out the audience’s roars.
Nothing is done until I’m over that finish line.
He could come back and try to regain the position.
I check my mirrors and see the car close to mine, but not close enough to make a real attack.
I’ve got this.
When I cross the finish line into P3, I let out a relieved breath.
Grateful that a tough race is over.
“Congrats, mate. What a drive,” my race engineer says, and I take my time thanking our team.
I’ve been pushing myself this season, but it would be even more challenging if the car were bad.
The changes to our team, and Arthur assigning some mechanics more responsibility and leadership, has improved the spirit of the team even more.
Our team has been working around the clock to deliver a car worthy of this title.
And I can feel it coming closer each day.
～
“Are you trying to kill me?” Molly asks me, throwing her arms around my neck as I hug her tightly.
It’s been hours since our race, and I haven’t been able to see her until now. You would think that I, as the driver, would be the busiest one, but no, my editor girlfriend has been all huddled up for work.
I can’t wait to watch the montages she’s been part of later.
“What are you talking about?” I ask her.
“Your driving. Peter. Fucking hell, I thought I would die of a heart attack.”
I snicker over my girlfriend’s concern. “I’ve got it, babe. Nothing to worry about.”
She rests her head against my chest, and I kiss her hair.
“I’m proud of you, though. Heart attack or not,” she murmurs and I lean back before lifting up her face to mine.
I press my lips to hers, the words at the top of my tongue. I’ve been wanting to tell Molly I love her, but shit, it feels scary as hell.
I’ve never told anyone I love them.
It’s terrifying.
What if she doesn’t say it back?
She’s only been my official girlfriend for about three weeks, but ever since our first date with crème br?lée, she’s been someone special to me.
That’s more than three months ago now.
Still, it’s intimidating to tell her how I feel as I haven’t really done that before.
Maybe it’s good to wait.
Maybe she’ll say it first, and then I can just say it back.
“My dad asked about dinner, but I’m feeling more for just being the two of us,” Molly says.
“Turning down the boss? I don’t know,” I say, and Molly looks at me, raising her eyebrows.
Even though I appreciate a good dinner with Arthur and our inner circle, I’d love to just be the two of us.
“You’re choosing my dad over me?”
We start chuckling.
“I could never, baby. Just the two of us sounds perfect.”