Chapter 30
Peter
I’m walking hand in hand with Molly when I stop dead in my tracks.
We’ve just turned a corner, and in front of me is my father.
I blink, not quite believing the sight in front of me.
I must be dreaming.
Because the sight in front of me looks too good to be true.
I sense Molly staring at my face, probably wondering why I’m frozen to the ground, staring at the man in front of me.
It’s not the sight of him that has me frozen; it’s the fact that he looks healthy.
He looks more like the old him.
The one I remember from my childhood.
Before everything went to hell.
Gone is the fragile, thin man I met in a dark valley ten months ago. He’s put on weight, and his hair isn’t sticking to his forehead. His clothes are clean, and his eyes are present as he looks at me.
“Dad,” I say, the word still sounding foreign in my mouth, but for the first time I’ve met him like this, the word seems to actually register with him.
Molly grabs my hand in both of hers, holding tight as she looks between us.
“Hey, son. I’m sorry to just pop up like this, but I wanted to talk with you.”
For the first time since things went south, I know he’s not here to ask for money for more drugs.
Which is why I suggest that we talk in our hotel room.
When we get to the entrance, Molly stops me, still holding my hand in hers, providing all the support I need in this moment.
“Do you want some privacy? I can take a walk, let you two have a moment.”
God, this woman.
How I ever got so lucky to have her will always be beyond me.
I kiss her, not caring that my dad is present.
This is the woman in my life, and I’ll never dim myself or us, no matter who’s near.
I grab her face, looking into her eyes. “I want you here, baby. You know it all, and your support has glued me back together at a time I thought I’d never crawl back out of that hole. So please, come up with us.”
Her eyes tear up, and I kiss her forehead before grabbing her hand in mine again as we make our way up to the room.
When we get there, we sit down in the sitting area.
I wait for him to begin, not wanting to get my hopes up too much, but the change is definitely there.
“I don’t even know where to begin, but I want to apologize for what I’ve put you through, and your mother.”
He looks genuinely troubled as he gazes at me, the guilt tearing at him as he continues.
“The night I hit you,” he shakes his head before he looks to the ceiling, the emotion evident in his eyes.
Then he looks at me.
“I’m so sorry, Peter. I woke up the next day and realised how fucking bad I’ve gotten. It was always bad, but hitting my only son, who’s never even given up on me when I was an absolutely shit. That was my wake-up call.”
I drag in a breath, and Molly brings an arm around my waist, soothing me with her touch.
“I used the money I took from you and checked myself into a facility. I’ve been working on my recovery and have been sober ever since that night. I’m planning on paying back every single cent I’ve taken from you over the years, son.”
He’s sober.
He’s actually gotten sober.
“I don’t give a shit about the money, Dad. I just wanted you back,” I tell him, the emotion getting stuck in my throat.
“It’s about my recovery, which will take time before I can fully trust myself not to relapse, but I’d like to pay it back, Peter. It’s part of the process of making amends for the actions I’ve done whilst I was an addict.”
To me, money is just money.
I understand that he may see this differently, and I’ll accept his money.
He seems committed to the process, and I’ll respect that. As long as he continues to get healthy and well, that’s everything that matters to me.
“I’ll fully respect it if you don’t want me back in your life. I made an ugly habit of seeking you out these years, but I wanted you to know that I’ve sought the help I need and apologize for all the pain I must have caused.”
I’ve come to peace with the fact that this day would probably never come.
The hope never died, though.
I always had a hope that my dad would come back from the darkness.
And as I look at him, our similarities once again present as he’s gotten healthy. I give him a hug, the words lost in my mouth as my tears run down.
Even on the day when I won the world championship, and the tears were loose for everyone else, I didn’t cry.
I haven’t cried since that night when he hit me, and I opened up to Molly.
The worst night of my life in regard to my father turned out to be a turning point in so many ways.
I feel him shaking underneath me, his cries harder than mine.
“I’m just so sorry,” he says.
Eventually, we pull apart and get our emotions under control.
Then he looks to Molly, a curious smile aimed her way.
“Dad. This is Molly. My girlfriend,” I say, and she reaches out her hand to him.
Gosh.
This woman.
She’s just witnessed two grown men cry their eyes out without me properly introducing her.
She doesn’t seem to mind though as she shakes his hand. “Hi. I’m glad to see you’ve turned things around,” she says.
She may not have seen the state he used to be in, but to me, the change is clear.
As my father speaks with my woman, I sit back, dazed by the fact that this is my reality.
A life I’ve almost given up on.
But as I look at them, my father laughing about something Molly says, I’m hit with the feeling that everything will be just right.