35. Chapter Thirty-Five
Chapter Thirty-Five
“W hen did you get back?” Sam grilled me.
Our local coffee shop was cute, especially from where we were sitting in our window-seat booth, but it didn’t hold a candle to the one in New York.
I pulled my coffee to my mouth and took a sip before acknowledging her question, not wanting to admit the truth.
“Um… last Wednesday,” I told her honestly.
Her eyes slinked up from her coffee mug, the steam dancing around her. “Last Wednesday . As in almost a week ago? And you’re just now agreeing to get coffee with me?”
“Yes… I’m sorry. I’ve been busy. But, Sam, it was incredible.” A tiny smile freed itself from her mouth and I knew I’d been forgiven, which encouraged me to continue. “It was everything I could’ve ever imagined, and more. The sights, the sounds, the food, and the sex.” I smirked.
“Miller Jean Morgan, you little slut.” We both burst into laughter, drawing attention from nearby patrons. “Just kidding. I need all the details. Stat.”
My face hurt from smiling after filling Sam in on the details, but I couldn’t ignore the one and only negative part. “Well, you know, despite his father being a complete and utter prick.”
“From what I’ve heard from Anthony, Stanley Prescott is nothing short of a narcissistic asshole,” she responded.
“Yeah, you could say that,” I said. “There’s a lot of shit going on with that family, that’s for sure. Honestly, it’s the only thing that makes me hesitate about the whole situation.”
“What do you mean?”
“Don’t get me wrong, the trip was a dream. But that’s just it… it didn’t feel like real life. Grey lives in a whole different world than you and me. Private jets, personal drivers, and big fancy houses, for starters.”
All of these thoughts had been swirling around my brain since I walked in on the conversation between Grey and his father. I didn’t want to make Grey feel bad about his lifestyle, but I needed to talk to someone about it all.
“Not to mention the big elephant in the room: him living in New York City and me living here. I have no idea how we would make that work. And then I feel ridiculous for even worrying about that at all because I’m not even sure he’s expecting this thing, whatever it is, to go past the summer.”
“Oof.” Sam huffed out. “First off, things are allowed to feel dreamy, that’s the best part about being in a relationship, especially at the beginning. Things are new, fresh, and exciting. Secondly, it’s also okay to feel scared, or a little hesitant as you put it, because this kind of shit is scary. New is scary. Unknowns are scary. And better yet, love is scary as hell. If it wasn’t, it wouldn’t be as epic as everyone says it is.”
Sam always had good advice, but this was top of the line, even for her. “Damn… I was not expecting that.”
“And another thing…” She faltered. “But you have to promise you won’t get upset with me.” I nodded, intrigued. “I don’t think your fear is really coming from who Grey is. I think it comes from not wanting to lose him.” Her head dropped but her mouth kept moving. “I think that after the loss you went through with Liv, the thought of letting someone else in, like really letting them in, feels incredibly terrifying, almost unbearable.”
We sat in silence for a few moments, Sam letting me ruminate on her words. After a couple minutes, I finally said, “I think you’re right.”
She looked relieved she hadn’t upset me. With sympathy I only ever allowed from her, she looked right in my eyes as she said, “And that’s okay. But look at you and me.”
I scrunched my face in confusion.
“I don’t even think you realize it, but Grey isn’t the first person you’ve let in since the accident. I am. It didn’t happen overnight, and it definitely didn’t always feel like it was going to happen at all. But, piece by piece, you let me in.”
Sam wasn’t the emotional type, but I swore I saw her bat away a tear.
“And you can do it again. I’m not saying it won’t be hard, and I’m sure as shit not saying you won’t ever get hurt again. What I am saying is that, as you know better than anyone, life is too damn precious to sit alone on the sidelines and watch it pass you by.”
“Sam, I—” My voice cracked, trailing off.
“I can’t tell you what’s going to happen with Grey, or in your life outside of him, but what I can tell you is that you already have everything you need.” She brought her palm up to tap the spot above her heart. “Your willingness to open up, the book that you so desperately need to write, and those dreams that you’ve put away so nicely in a box on a shelf in your mind. Everything is there, you just have to let yourself dig deep enough to find it,” she said.
I toyed with the handle of my coffee mug, clearing my throat. “I guess I never really saw it that way, you know? You just sort of appeared in my life when I needed someone and have stuck around ever since. But looking now, I see the truth.”
The realization of it all left me a bit stunned.
A single tear rolled down my cheek as I stood up to give her a hug. “I love you, Sam.”
“I love you too, MJ.”
“It’s taken me years and a very blunt conversation”—I pulled away, smirking—“to see the importance of letting other people in. So, thank you.”
“Always. You know I wouldn’t have it any other way.” She smiled, returning to her coffee. “When do you get to see him again?”
“Not sure exactly. He had some stuff he needed to do in the city, but he said he’d keep me posted on when he’d be back.” I blushed.
“You’re smitten, Miller Morgan, and I love it.”
“I think I am.”
The start of August was already here, and the first thing on my list on this crisp Saturday morning was a run. I was craving movement before my shift later. Bouncing down the steps, I took a moment to enjoy the slight breeze.
I placed my headphones on and cranked up the music, the familiar tune of “Play with Fire” by Sam Tinnesz drifting into my ears. I’d woken up to a good-morning text from Grey, which had happened every morning since I left the city and never failed to put me in a good mood.
We’d only been apart a week, but even that seemed too long. He was hoping to get back to Montauk soon, but things with his father kept popping up. I understood, but I was ready to see him again.
The sun was setting on summer, and the faintest voice in the back of my head wondered if the same was happening to Grey and me too. The thought itself sent my stomach sinking like a boat taking on gallons of water at once.
Clearly, I needed this run. And
I picked up my pace, the rhythm of my footsteps matching the rhythm of the song playing through my headphones. Running toward the beach, the sun pierced my skin, making me feel alive and shutting off all intrusive thoughts.
About halfway into my run, I begun to hear the echo of footsteps behind me. Normally, I wouldn’t have thought anything of it, but it was 6:45 in the morning and most of the town was still asleep. Doing my best to be nonchalant, I slipped a glance at the runner.
“Surprised to see me?” Grey’s voice trickled through the air. Stopping dead in my tracks, my jaw dropped as I registered that it was him, that he was really here. I bounded toward him, jumping into his arms. “I missed you too,” he admitted.
“You didn’t tell me you were coming!” I pulled away to get a better look at him. He was in a pair of black athletic shorts and a white T-shirt, which was probably the most casual I’d ever seen him.
“Well, then it wouldn’t have been a surprise, would it?”
“This is true,” I said.
“Mind if I finish your run with you?” he asked.
“Not at all,” I said. “I didn’t know you were a runner.”
He laughed. “I’m not, but you are. So I figured I’d give it a try, especially if that meant seeing you run in those tight little shorts of yours.”
Two months had gone by since we’d started hanging out and this man still knew exactly what to say to turn my cheeks cherry red.
“Are you sure that was only two miles? Definitely felt more like twenty.” Grey panted as he bent over to catch his breath.
“You’re dramatic.” I giggled. “How long are you in town for?”
“I’m hoping to stay through the rest of the summer, so until after Labor Day weekend.”
I so badly wanted to blurt out and then what happens? but the courage I needed was nowhere to be found.
Oblivious to my current spiral, Grey spoke again. “Speaking of Labor Day, it’s a Prescott family tradition to have a massive party on the beach. I’m sure this year will be especially ridiculous with my father’s campaign. But regardless, I’d like you to go with me.”
Grey never got nervous, at least not around me, but I swore I could feel a sense of tension in his tone.
“Are you sure your father is going to want someone like me there?” I asked, shocked by my own vulnerability.
“Miller Morgan, haven’t I made it abundantly clear that my father can dictate my career, but he sure as shit isn’t going to dictate my relationships? Plus, he’s probably just jealous because you catch the attention of everyone in the room without trying and he has to spend thousands of dollars to do so.”
“You flatter me,” I said. “And if that was your way of convincing me to go, it worked.” My response lit up his face, something I’d never get used to. “On one condition.” I raised my finger to him. “You come with me to dinner at my parents’ tonight.”
“Say no more. I’ll be there.” His mouth claimed mine, our tongues hungry for a taste of the other.
“Come in?” I asked, trying my best not to sound like I was begging.
“Don’t tempt me.” Brushing his lips with his thumb, he continued. “But there is something I’ve been meaning to do since the start of summer, and I think it’s finally time.”
“Oh. Okay. Do you need help with anything?”
His hand was doing it again, pressuring that same spot. “This is something that I need to do alone, at least right now, but I adore you for asking. How about I pick you up at seven and we’ll go to your parents’ together?”
“Sounds perfect,” I said, leaning up on my tippy toes to plant another kiss right on his mouth.
“See you then.”