Chapter 39
Carmello
Now
I knew it was going to be like this. There was no way I could let down my walls and Olivia Jones wouldn’t come crashing in.
She takes up so much space just with her personality.
I want the vision she brings when I see situations as black-and-white and need someone with a more balanced opinion.
I love the way our fusion menu is shaping up for the date-night events because we’re doing it together.
The other day my father stopped in and she got him to soften up by suggesting he be our taste tester for the Dominican dishes.
I haven’t told him about us yet, but I think he’s accepting that whatever happens happens.
I’m glad not to hear his mouth because I want her to keep happening to me. But she’s not in my bed right now and my body punishes me for it.
It doesn’t help that she looks this good over FaceTime.
I tucked Teddy in then cleaned the house before I called her.
For the past few nights, we’ve made it a routine to talk like this.
Yesterday, she wasn’t feeling great. Had a heating pad on her stomach and requested that I read to her while she curled up.
I had to fight the urge to tell her to come over so I could give her a massage and read to her in person.
Told myself Teddy’s here and it’s too soon for that.
But she’s better tonight, bright-eyed while she tells me about the pictures her parents sent her.
They’re in Guatemala and the work has been grueling, but the country is beautiful.
Volcanoes and waterfalls and amazing food.
“We’ll have to get you out of your fear of flying to go there together. Work you up for the long flight to the Philippines,” she says, and I find that I want to do that with her.
“As long as you go easy on me,” I say, trying to mimic her pouty face. “Hold my hand?”
“I’ll do you one better and wear a low-cut shirt to distract you with my breasts,” she says.
I breathe through my teeth and let my gaze dart down to them now. “Yeah, that’d work.”
She puts her hands over her chest and opens her mouth wide like she’s scandalized. “I was kidding. But Rodriguez, are you trying to start phone sex?”
“Would it work, Jones?”
She bites her bottom lip, and my body reacts before she even slides her hand into her tank top.
I watch her pinch her nipple and my mouth waters.
It’s only been a couple days since we’ve last had sex, and I feel like I have no self-control.
So when she tells me to grip myself through my boxers, I don’t hesitate.
She wants to see, and I’m about to show her how thick it is right now…
but then, parenthood calls me from inside the house.
Olivia laughs, and covers her mouth with her hand. “Oops.” When she sees I’m not laughing, she frowns a little. “I thought you said he sleeps like a brick and your door’s locked.”
“Both true,” I say, but I’m too busy looking over at it to make sure I really did lock it.
What I don’t say is that my pulse has picked up considerable speed, as if a few walls between us isn’t enough privacy.
In the span of seconds, my thoughts run wild.
Because, even though my son only called me once, I don’t want him to think he’s alone.
Or what if something bad happened to him and he can’t call out to me again? “I gotta go, O.”
“Good night, babe,” she says after a beat. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
***
Teddy’s sitting up, hugging his giraffe in front of him when I sit at the end of his bed.
“Did you have a bad dream?” He nods his head. “What was it about?”
“I was drowning,” he says. “A big wave got me.”
When I first saw him safe in his room, my heart sighed in relief, but it just jumped back to beating fast. I reach for him and he wraps his small arms around me. “But I made it out okay,” he says, “because I’m so good at swimming I could be in the Olympics.”
I was just thinking about how it’s time to kick up the swimming lessons, but since I’ll have even less time with him because of the event night, I’ll have to add on another bill and get him into classes.
Olivia said he’s emotionally intelligent and I know that to be true; look at him, comforting himself and probably aware he’s comforting me after he had a bad dream.
Sometimes, it feels like he’s the other side of my coin, and he can feel what I feel.
And that kind of love is more overwhelming than anything I’ve ever had, but it’s so worth it.
I pull back to smile at him. “Like Mufasa making his way out of the water?”
“Like Mufasa,” Teddy agrees with that toothy grin. “But Daddy…can I sleep with you tonight? I’m still a little scared.”
“Of course,” I say, still a little scared too. I don’t know what I’ll do if anything horrible ever happens to him. It’s a constant worry in my mind and sometimes it’s suffocating.
“Who were you talking to?” he asks, and the question genuinely confuses me for a second. “I heard you whispering on the phone. That’s why I only called you once.”
“Oh,” I say, almost forgetting about our FaceTime. “It was…Olivia.”
“Sometimes she calls me Theodore like my teacher does. I like her,” Teddy decides.
I let the words hit and, when they make my chest tight, I take a deep, long breath. Then, I decide too. Teddy is my life, and if Olivia’s going to be a part of it, I can’t be scared to let her all the way in.
I squeeze his hand. Say, “Yeah, Theodore. So do I.”