Epilogue Halo-Halo
Epilogue
Halo-halo
Carmello
Two Years Later
Crushed ice and evaporated milk mixed together with an assortment of fresh fruit and a variation of other ingredients.
I chose jackfruit, ube, coconut strips, and bananas as my mix-ins.
My tito ordered the same thing minus the bananas and added green jellies and sugar on top.
It’s the first dessert I’ve tried since arriving in the Philippines last night, and it doesn’t disappoint.
It feels surreal to be in my mom’s country with her family.
I got to see the home she grew up in and meet her mother and nieces, people I’ve only seen in pictures and video chats.
My tito could be her twin brother; they’ve both got the same eyes that crinkle around the edges and the same boisterous big-bellied laugh.
And he has the best stories of her playing pranks during her school days that I’ve been eating up.
But as happy as I am to be here, I’m already dreading the day we have to leave.
It took twenty-one hours to get here by plane, and my brain is calculating the risks of my anxiety meds wearing off too quickly again along with every other possible scenario that could go wrong on the way back home.
Earlier I made a joke to my therapist about canceling my return flight and living here.
But I’ve been thinking all day, truly, does it have to be a joke?
I’ve got a lot of what I need right on this beach anyway.
Up ahead, Olivia is filling a bucket with the clearest blue water I’ve ever seen and still she’s the most stunning thing in view.
Her hair is longer, big, loose honey-colored curls down her back, and her sun-kissed skin is glowing.
Below her red sunglasses, there’s a huge smile on her face.
She’s wearing flowy white shorts and a cropped tank top.
From here, I can see the fox tattoo on her hip, and I smile to myself remembering the day she said it was her first and her last because the pain was ridiculous, unbearable, downright ugly.
A few months later she was scheduling an appointment for another one.
In the past couple of years, we’ve both had firsts and lasts together that ended that way.
Table for Twos-Days took off, and it’s been everything we’ve dreamed up and more.
But the first time we tried speed dating with the card game, it was a bit of a catastrophe.
We said it would be the last, but instead we worked out the kinks and we’re now offering it every month.
The first time we spent weeks without each other as a couple was when Olivia joined her parents in Cape Verde.
When we finally saw each other again, she threw herself into my arms at the airport and said she was homesick.
But each time she travels it gets easier on both of us.
And each time I travel with her, it gets easier on me.
After our turbulent flight taking the full-time staff to the Dominican Republic last year as a bonus, I vowed I’d never get on a plane again.
Three weeks later, I was giving Olivia my credit card info to book four flights to the Philippines. Now here we are.
I watch her bring the bucket of water back to where Teddy is burying his grandfather in the sand.
My usually very serious dad is covered from the neck down, a straw hat on his head, warning Teddy not to get more sand in his mouth.
But soon Olivia is helping Teddy compact said sand with water so they can cement my dad in place better and they’re all laughing and I’m letting my halo-halo melt because I’m too busy concentrating on them.
That’s the trick, Carmello, I can almost hear my therapist saying.
Concentrate on how good it feels to live in the moment with those you love and give less of yourself over to the fears of not having them in the future.
Olivia blows me a kiss from across the sand, and I feel a rush of peace wash over me.
I turn to my uncle with a smile. “I’m ready for another story,” I say. “Tell me more?”