17.
C OREY
“How is your knee?” I asked Brawley as he sat down across from me.
“How’s your ass?” Brawley replied with a grin as he put his elbows up on the table.
“Are you the one that put the statues in my yard?”
Brawley grinned and asked, “Did someone prank you?”
“It had to be more than one person.”
“Why do you think that?” he asked.
“Who helped you?”
“I’m still limping around. You think I would risk my recovery to pull a prank on you? What did they do?”
I saw Noble and Lawson, both in uniform, walking across the restaurant and glared at Brawley before I asked, “Was it them?”
“Still limping,” Brawley said with a shrug.
Noble sat down next to Brawley, and Lawson took the chair beside mine. Neither of them looked guilty, but I’d known them long enough to understand that meant nothing. For all I knew, they’d just come from my house after scattering a second round of fucking gnomes all over my property.
Assholes.
“I’ve decided that I’m never having kids,” Lawson announced.
Ignoring him, Brawley asked, “Has anyone talked to Zane or Jonas? I thought they were meeting us for lunch.”
“I just left them downtown sorting out a wreck, so if they do show up, they’re going to be late.”
“And this wreck made you decide you’re not having kids? Do tell,” Brawley suggested.
“I’m never having kids because cute babies grow up and turn into teenagers who steal your fucking car and total it, driving the wrong way on a one-way street.”
“Is the kid okay?”
“Not a scratch on him, but I have a feeling that when his guardian gets through with him, we’re going to be going on an entirely different call,” Noble said with a grin. “That woman was so mad she could barely speak.”
“It was his great-grandmother’s car,” Lawson explained.
“Great-grandmother? How old is he?”
“He’s fourteen, and this wasn’t his first brush with the law.”
“As if none of you guys ever did anything stupid when you were that age,” I teased.
“I’m not even sure my brain worked when I was fourteen,” Brawley admitted.
Lawson laughed before he said, “Mine didn’t come online until I was at least twenty-four.”
Just then, Jonas, Lawson’s twin, showed up. After the server took our drink orders, he explained, “Zane’s still dealing with that tow. Thank God he took it instead of me because I’d have already choked that asshole kid out.”
“He was such a smartass,” Lawson said with a shake of his head. “Reason number three hundred that I’m never having kids.”
“Right there with ya,” Jonas agreed.
“Now that almost everyone is here, are you going to explain what was so urgent that you had to get us all together?” Noble asked.
“I want to know who was involved in scattering gnomes all over my yard.”
There was utter silence, and as I studied them, none of my friends showed any sign of guilt at all. I was inclined to believe that maybe they didn’t have anything to do with it after all.
“When did it happen?” Jonas asked.
“Some time yesterday evening.”
“While we were at Zoey’s place?” Lawson asked.
“Well, shit. That’s right.” I frowned at Brawley before I said, “ Almost everyone was there with me.”
“Good work, detective,” Brawley snarled. “It took you how long to figure that out?”
“Where were you ?” I asked.
“Not fucking around in your yard. If you’d put up cameras like I suggested when you moved in, you’d know that.”
I ignored Brawley’s comment and said, “It had to be my family. Garvey was with us, so that narrows it down.”
“But you have umpteen cousins,” Lawson reminded me.
“Of all ages. I can see Kale and Clem doing some shit like this,” Brawley said with a grin.
“How many gnomes were there?”
“ Were there? They’re still fucking there! Where am I gonna put them all?”
“How many?” Jonas asked again.
“I counted at least twenty last night, but when I woke up this morning, I’m almost sure there were more.”
Noble laughed before he said, “Unless they’re moving around when you aren’t looking, someone else added to the horde while you were sleeping.”
“Those fuckers!”
“The question is, which fuckers?” Brawley asked with a shrug. He smiled before he said, “The troop of brightly painted figurines, or the cousins who put them there?”
Jonas nodded before he said, “And where did they get all of them?”
“When I figure out who did it, there will be carnage,” I warned.
“You get ‘em, Forrester! Teach them that Gnomey don’t play that!” Noble said in his best impersonation of Homey D. Clown from an old comedy show his dad used to love.
“Gnomey!” Lawson echoed before he burst out laughing. The rest of the guys started laughing, too, and I couldn’t help but smile, even though I knew this meant I probably had a new nickname. “Are you going to set up surveillance tonight to see if they come to life as the clock strikes twelve?”
“Or to see who is adding to their numbers,” Jonas suggested.
“I have plans tonight and might not be home.”
“He’s taking Janis on a date,” Lawson tattled.
“I’m surprised the weather is so nice,” Brawley mused. “Hell has apparently frozen over.”
“Where are you taking her?” Noble asked.
“I thought we’d go to that new sushi place.”
“Nope. She has allergies. No sushi,” Jonas said as he shook his head.
“Allergies?” I asked.
“She can’t have sushi unless it’s made somewhere that doesn’t serve tuna. That place does, so it’s a definite no-go,” Lawson explained.
“Okay. Then I’ll take her to that new restaurant out on the loop.”
“Can’t do that one either,” Lawson informed me.
“Why?”
“She looked up their menu after we talked about going there a few weeks ago and saw that they serve tuna salad,” Lawson explained.
“Shit. I wanted to take her somewhere new for our first date.”
“New is never good,” Jonas explained. “With Janis, sometimes new means an emergency room visit, so she likes to stick to tried-and-true places.”
“You usually can’t go wrong if you take her to a steakhouse,” Lawson suggested. “Somewhere simple because the fancy ones have things she can’t eat.”
“Might be easier to make her dinner at your place,” Noble suggested.
“With my luck, I’ll make something she’s allergic to,” I muttered. “I’m gonna need a list.”
Brawley chuckled and asked, “You’re really taking Janis out on a date?”
“I am.”
“Why do I have a feeling this is going to end in bloodshed?”
“His or hers?” Noble asked with a laugh. “My money is on Janis.”
“Mine too.”
“I’ve got twenty that says the cops get involved,” Jonas chimed in.
“Wow. With friends like y’all, who needs enemies?”
“Do you know that guy sitting against the south wall? The one with the red hat and white shirt,” Lawson said without looking that way.
I covertly glanced in that direction and winced before I said, “It’s one of the guys from the convenience store. I guess he’s out on bail.”
“Well, shit,” Noble muttered. “I am not in the mood.”
“What’s the problem?” Jonas asked.
“He and his gangbanger buddy swore that they’d find us and make us pay. Even brought our family members into it,” I explained.
“Let ‘em fucking try,” Jonas said menacingly.
“That’s kind of what I thought. He keeps looking over here like he’s considering something, but no movement so far,” Lawson explained.
“Watch yourselves when you leave,” Brawley said hesitantly. “He’s texting someone, but can’t keep his eyes off our table.”
The server appeared with our food, and even though I tried to enjoy my lunch, my thoughts were mostly on the man across the room and what he might be planning.
◆◆◆
Since Janis had given me the code to the back door and an open invitation to stop by, I parked next to her motorcycle and used that access. When I walked into the kitchen, I found Janis working on a table full of cupcakes. I knew that she was filming since her light ring was on and her camera was in place, so I kept quiet and sat down on one of the stools she kept near the wall so her visitors didn’t walk through her clean kitchen.
She glanced up and smiled at me before she said, “Couldn’t wait until tonight to see me, huh?”
“Hey. I didn’t know if I was allowed to talk while you’re filming.”
“This isn’t an ASMR video, so there will be music dubbed over it.”
“ASMR?”
“Those are videos where there’s no talking, just the sounds of me working. People find them calming, but I have to film them before we open or after we close.” Janis kept working while she talked to me, rarely looking up from her task. Her speed amazed me; she made sure each cupcake looked perfect as she progressed through each step. “Seriously, though, what’s up with this visit? Are you canceling tonight?”
“No. Definitely not, but I did run into some problems.”
“Like what?”
“Apparently, there’s a list of things you can’t eat, so I have no idea where to take you.”
“It’s hard to go wrong with a steak and baked potato. Depending on the place, I might even be able to have a salad.”
“Okay, but is that what you want?”
“I’d love a . . .” The door flew open and one of Janis’ employees stomped into the kitchen. Janis frowned and asked, “What’s wrong now?”
“Drawer is short,” the woman explained.
“How much?”
“Two hundred.”
“Shit,” Janis hissed.
“Want me to check the cameras?”
“When did she leave?”
The woman looked up at the clock before she said, “About three hours ago. Right after the woman came in to pick up the cookies you decorated for that youth group.”
“She paid cash?”
“Yeah.”
“I’ll check the cameras to make sure it was her.”
“Okay,” the employee said sadly. “I hate to think she did it, but I know it wasn’t me or you and she was the only other one to login.”
“Could just be a calculation error. I’ll know more after I look at the video.”
The woman sighed before she said, “Are you going to call Zoey?”
“I won’t do anything until I have evidence, and then I’ll take care of it. As of right now, this is not your problem anymore. I don’t want you in the middle of shit.”
“Thanks,” the woman said sadly. “I’ve closed out the front, and the other girls are gone. If you don’t need me to do anything else, my ride’s here.”
“I think I’m good. Thanks for your help today.”
“I’m so sorry this happened, Janis. I understand if this makes you lose trust in . . .”
“Even Thomas Kinkade didn’t paint all of his works of art with the same brush, Ginger. I can’t imagine why you’d imagine that I might,” Janis interrupted. “Her actions have nothing to do with yours. If you’d tried to cover for her rather than tell me the drawer was short, you’d be to blame for at least something. Instead, you’ve been a very dependable and trustworthy employee that I’m proud to have working here.”
“Thanks, Janis. That means more than I can ever explain.”
“Keep up the good work, babe. And keep your chin up. Her sins are not yours to carry, okay?”
“You’re pretty wise for such a youngster,” the woman teased.
“Shut up. You’re not even old enough to be my mom.”
“Honey, in some places, you wouldn’t even be my oldest child,” Ginger retorted. “I’m out of here. Are you staying very long?”
“I’m going to man the back door and then take off for the evening.”
Ginger looked at me and winked before she said, “You kids be safe out there, and don’t do anything I would have done when I was your age.”
“Again with the ancient wisdom,” Janis grumbled. “Get out of here and have a good night. I’ll see you in the morning.”
Ginger waved before she walked out, and I heard the bell over the door chime before I asked, “Want me to go lock that?”
“No, Ginger has a key.”
Without thinking, I asked, “You trust your employees with a key to your business?”
“Some of them, especially if they’re working their programs and have been dependable employees. Ginger has been working for me since she got home. She went from cleaning up my messes to helping me bake, and then I had her start working the counter. She got promoted to manager about six months ago.”
“That’s good.”
“What’s not good is that you automatically assume, based on her past, that she’s going to fuck up again. Do you feel the same way about your brother?”
“Let’s say I’m optimistically cautious.”
“If he starts to slide, Zoey will be the first one to sound the alarm,” Janis assured me. “In my experience, if you trust someone who has a good heart, they’ll do everything they can to keep from letting you down.”
“You are very wise for your age, Grissom.”
“I get it from my daddy,” Janis said as she looked up with a grin. “Papa Smokey and a few of the other guys put their faith in him all those years ago, and he’s never forgotten how it felt to have their trust. They made him, and then us, part of the family. I can’t even count the number of times my dad has said that he has no idea where he’d be if he hadn’t had them to count on.”
“And someday there are gonna be a bunch of women who feel the same way about you.”
“We’ll see.”
“You’ve got a good heart.”
“You say that as if you’re surprised.”
“For years, the look in your eyes told me you were plotting my death every time we saw each other, so, yeah, I admit it was sort of a surprise when that dawned on me.”
“Have you decided where you’re going to take me yet?”
“I haven’t. I was too mesmerized watching you create art out of frosting. Those flowers looked real before you ever put the leaves on them.”
“Good. That’s what I was going for.”
“Do you mind if I hang out here with you for a while?”
“Sure, but I won’t be staying much longer. I’m going to have to put all of this away so I can go home and get ready.”
“What do you have to do to get ready?”
“I’ve got to go by Tad’s and pick up something to wear, figure out what to do with my hair, and then try to put all that gloop on my face in a way that doesn’t make me look like a demented clown.”
“You’re gonna get all dolled up for little ol’ me?” I asked teasingly.
“It is a date.”
“I’ve got a better idea,” I said, knowing from the tone of her voice that she wasn’t looking forward to anything about getting dressed for tonight.
“Don’t hurt yourself, Donut.”
I laughed before I suggested, “Why don’t you finish what you’re doing so you don’t have to drag all this shit out again tomorrow, put on a hoodie, and then go for a bike ride with me? We’ll enjoy some sun and wind before we decide where to eat, and then maybe we’ll take a night ride before I take you back to my house to do unimaginably naughty things to your body.”
Janis stopped working and looked up at me with hope in her eyes before she shook her head and said, “I smell like a bakery and probably look a mess. I’m sure you’d rather . . .”
“Nonsense. You always smell fantastic. I’ve thought that since before you even started talking to me. But are you, Janis freaking Grissom, actually saying no to a motorcycle ride?”
“It kind of hurts, but I am.”
“Let’s plan to get dressed up for our next date and just chill this evening and see where the road takes us.”
“You’re really not a bad guy, Donut.”
“Is that a yes?”
“That’s a hell yes. Thank you so much for the offer because it sounds amazing. Maybe later on, when we’re naked, I’ll thank you in ways that make you see stars and start speaking in tongues.”
“You just get better and better. I have a feeling tonight is going to be a night to remember.”
Janis winked at me before she smiled brightly. I couldn’t help but laugh when she said, “I guess we’ll see, won’t we?”