19. Donuts and Forgiveness
CHAPTER 19
DONUTS AND FORGIVENESS
BAY
C ole’s spot in my bed is empty when I wake up the morning after the party.
He must have gone to practice, their coach rides them extremely hard, rarely allowing the team a day off, even after a victory.
Often he’ll use post-games sessions for physical therapy and watching tapes rather than ice time, but he wants the guys at the arena bright and early.
I’m grateful to Cole for staying with me last night and a part of me is disappointed that he isn’t here this morning. My best friend always looks especially sexy with his blond hair mussed from sleep and a hint of blond stubble on his chiseled face.
This morning however a part of me is grateful that Cole isn’t here. After the dream I had last night, things might be a little awkward until I can get over the lingering feeling of arousal it left me with.
Probably having Cole’s arms around me, his solid body so close to mine, his sexy, clean scent invading my senses didn’t help matters.
The bedsheets still smell like him and I inhale shamelessly, rubbing my thighs together to relieve the throbbing need I woke up with.
The dream felt so real and I wish Cole had really lowered his sweatpants and slipped deep inside me, grinding against me, his fingers playing with my clit…
Oh God.
I sit up, fanning myself because now I’m definitely hot all over. I have to remind myself over and over that Cole doesn’t see me that way.
He has brotherly feelings for me and he’s made it clear more than once.
Restless, I get out of bed deciding to channel my energy into the million things I need to do today.
Of course I need to study to stay on top of my heavy course load and I have a new makeup tutorial to film for my streaming channels. It’s a new sponsorship deal with a brand that has succeeded where everyone else has always failed in my opinion. They have a foundation that’s truly amazing; it gives you a flawless complexion but it’s so light and breathable at the same time.
I probably should text Lake too to confirm that I’m going to drive to Bridgeport next week for the hockey team’s away game. Rather than getting a hotel room, I’ll accept her invitation to stay at the brand new mansion the guys just bought.
I miss my twin sister and I’m looking forward to spending some time with her.
After a quick text exchange with Lakyn, my fingers hover over Jagger’s contact.
He said I could rebound with him and I keep thinking about that hot dream on a loop. If he could spend some time with me this afternoon, he might help me get it out of my system.
There’s no point texting him now though, I know he’s gonna be at practice .
The thought that his teammates might be talking about us—about me—in the locker room inevitably hits me.
I groan, frustrated that I hate the idea that pretty much everyone at last night’s party heard what Ryker said.
I’m not ashamed of what I did and of my deal with Jagger. I just think that what we do behind closed doors is no one else’s business.
The truth is that the popularity that surrounds the hockey team means that rumors and gossip follow these guys everywhere.
I experienced it firsthand when I was dating Topher and I saw it happen even more when Lakyn’s relationship with Cash, Blaze and Luca became public.
That’s exactly why I decided to stay away from hockey players my senior year.
You’re doing an amazing job at that. Not only did you fuck one of them after blowing him in the locker room, you literally live in a house with two dozen hockey players.
I roll my eyes at the voice in my head.
So far this year things have gone in the opposite direction of all the plans I made last summer on Luca’s yacht.
For the most part it was because of forces outside my control, so all I can do is navigate the crazy waters my life has landed into and keep my goals in mind.
Talking about my goals, I need to start on my to do list. I can’t afford the luxury of a lazy Saturday morning.
The good thing about me is that once I put my head down and get to work, I’m efficient. Unstoppable.
The morning turns into afternoon before I know it and I’m so focused on my tasks that lunch time comes and goes and I’m still at work.
Should I finish one more chapter or venture down to the kitchen to get something to eat?
I close my laptop, stretching my arms over my head.
I’m still debating how willing I am to risk running into my ex since hockey practice should be over by now when there’s a knock on my door.
“Hey,” I smile.
I would be lying if I said that I’m not pleased to see Jagger with a box from my favorite donut place in his hands.
“Can we come in?”
We? I crane my neck to see behind his tall, broad frame and my excitement mixes with dread and fury.
Ryker is standing behind Jagger, both men in dark blue Cove Knights joggers and jerseys.
I notice that Ryker’s dark brown hair is still a little damp, probably from the shower, and it looks a couple of shades darker than usual.
“What is he doing here?” I scowl.
Jagger’s smile is pleading. “Ryker has something to say to you and it would mean a lot to me too if you could hear him out.”
I reluctantly step away from the door, letting the two men into my room.
“So,” I say, taking a seat on my chair and indicating that they can sit on my bed. “What do I owe the pleasure of this unannounced visit?”
My tone is sarcastic and I totally chose the chair because it makes me feel in a position of power.
“Before we talk,” Jagger says, opening the box on his lap. “Why don’t we have something to eat? We also bought Tilly’s famous milkshakes to wash down the donuts.”
I hadn’t noticed that Ryker is carrying a drink holder with three jumbo drink cups.
My stomach contracts with a pang of hunger and I look at the donut selection.
I don’t know how Jagger knows that maple bacon donuts are my favorite, but I grab one only to brush against Ryker’s fingers when he goes for my same sweet treat.
I narrow my eyes at him and rather than arguing with me like he always does, he lets go of the pastry as if it was burning his fingers.
“Ladies, first.” He says, his ice blue eyes fixed into mine.
The urge to push his buttons is impossible to resist, I’m furious at him for running his mouth and pushing me into the pool last night.
So it’s with evil satisfaction that I sink my teeth into the donut Ryker wanted, making a big show of enjoying the sweet fried dough with maple glaze and the savory, crunchy bacon on top.
I stop mid chew when I notice that the guys are staring at me without eating anything.
“What?” I ask, wondering if there’s maple custard all over my mouth.
A look passes between Jagger and Ryker. It’s like some kind of silent communication I’m obviously not privy to.
Ryker nods, squaring his shoulders like I imagine he does on the ice when an opponent is skating in his direction to steal the puck from him. “I’m sorry.” He blurts out.
I’m so stunned by his words that I shake my head in disbelief. “Excuse me?”
“I’m sorry, Bay,” he repeats. “What happened last night was… an accident. I didn’t meant to push you into the pool.”
God, this guy has the power to make me so mad.
His words do nothing to extinguish my anger, if anything they stoke the flame.
I take another bite of my donut, because it’s freaking delicious, and then I point the half eaten treat at him like a weapon. “What the fuck was that about, Ryker?” I glare. “What gave you the right to judge me for who I hook up with? Now everyone thinks I’m a puck bunny thanks to you.”
“You’re not a puck bunny.” Both men say in unison.
They look at each other again and then Ryker continues. “I’m so sorry for the things I said. I was just shocked when I realized that you were the woman with Jagger in the locker room. I recognized your shoes and…” he closes his eyes as if he was truly ashamed of his actions.
When his eyes reopen, regret and sincerity shine in Ryker’s ice blue gaze, mixed with something else I can’t quite identify.
“I shouldn’t have said anything. I should have kept my cool and asked you if we could talk. In private.”
He nailed it. “And why didn’t you?” I ask, still not convinced he deserves my forgiveness.
“I was hurt,” he admits. “I know I had no right to be, and we barely know each other, but I felt this crazy attraction to you the second we met. I’ve been shamelessly flirting with you, which believe me isn’t something I usually do, and I thought—I don’t even know what I thought. You said you didn’t want anything to do with hockey players and when I realized that you hooked up with Jagger… I felt rejected. It’s no excuse for what an idiot I was, I’m just trying to explain. I handled the way I was feeling like a complete dumb ass, I knew it the second you went back into the house. I should have asked you to talk and waited for a better moment if you weren’t up for it there and then rather than reacting the way I did.”
He stops talking, his blue eyes fixed on me. His jaw is tight, a muscle popping in his cheek. He looks furious and contrite at the same time.
A part of me understands his reaction; the part of me that didn’t land in that pool last night.
“I don’t disagree with you.” I finally bite out. “Why should I forgive you? You’ve been a gigantic pain in my ass from the second we met at the airport.”
Redness rises to Ryker’s face as his throat works.
Fuck me.
I just made Ryker Moore blush .
“Because I can do better, Bay. Please, let me prove to you that I’m not an asshole.”
There’s something in his kicked puppy expression that pulls on my heartstrings, but I stand my ground.
Ryker isn’t finished with his plea, this time he turns to Jagger. “Please dude, we’ve known each other since we were high school freshmen. Vouch for me?”
Jagger chuckles, his gaze soft when it lands on me. “It’s true. Ryker might be an acquired taste, but he’s a good one. He’s just a pro at hiding it.”
“Jeez, thanks.” Ryker rolls his eyes at his teammate, before setting that icy gaze back on me. “For what it’s worth, I understand what you said to me earlier last night about not being over your ex’s betrayal. I wasn’t in a relationship but two people I considered good friends betrayed me, that’s why I transferred. So I decided I would just come here to play hockey and bide my time until I go pro after graduation. I didn’t come here to make friends or… to get involved with anyone.”
His last few words give me pause.
Ryker and I don’t just have very similar taste when it comes to food. It sounds like last year ended in the same way for both of us. With a betrayal.
“If that’s true,” I say, still not totally sold on the idea of forgiveness. “Why did it matter if you felt rejected? Forgive my bluntness, but I couldn’t care less if your ego felt wounded.”
I barely know Ryker, but everything from his expression to his tone tells me that he’s being honest with me and I appreciate that. “It wouldn’t have mattered until we kissed. That kiss was… something .”
RYKER
I should kick Jagger’s ass for bringing me here and making me apologize to Bay.
Not because she doesn’t deserve an apology, she absolutely does. It’s because I know myself and my big mouth and I said too much.
Yes, that kiss Bay and I shared before things went totally tits up last night was the best kiss I’ve ever had but I don’t think that changes anything.
I should still focus on getting through this year and come out of Star Cove with a degree before I head to Hartford for my rookie season.
There’s no room for relationships. No room for Bay Woods, no matter how much I want to pull her into my arms and apologize with my mouth on hers.
There’s a beat of silence and fuck me, I can’t take my eyes off of her.
The air in the presidential suite of the Gamma house is crackling with electricity.
“Fine,” Bay says. “I can try to forgive you, but you’re going to have to earn it, Ryker. Stop antagonizing me any chance you get for starters and we’ll see if we can call a truce.”
I guess this is the most I can expect from her after how I acted. “Thank you, Bay. I promise you won’t regret it.”
Her gaze is fixed on me, a hard glare that makes her even sexier than usual. “Just so you know,” she informs me. “It wasn’t your eloquent speech or Jagger’s vouching for you that made me decide to give you a chance to prove to me that you aren’t a douche.”
I can’t with this woman.
She just called me a douche and even that makes me hard. “Don’t sugar coat things for my benefit,” I laugh, unable to hide my sarcasm. “If baring my soul to you or Jagger’s diplomatic skills didn’t move you, what did?”
The corner of those soft, pink lips lifts in a barely there smile. “You’re right about that kiss. It was something.”
I don’t know what to say at this point. I’m dying to pull her into my arms and kiss her until her lips turn blue, but I’m not confident that would be received the way I hope. I wouldn’t put it past Bay to knee me in the balls.
Before I can react in any way, Jagger speaks.
“You say kissing Ryker was something,” he’s smiling but I don’t miss the jealousy lacing his tone. “Was it better than kissing me?”
Bay shakes her head and I’m not gonna lie, I was hoping she would say yes. “No. Just different.”
Jagger takes a step closer to her. “How?”
Bay thinks about it for a second. “It’s clear you both know what you’re doing. But kissing you was thrilling. Like that buzz you get when you go on a giant roller coaster. I felt your kiss everywhere, you set me on fire and my entire body was tingling, needing more.”
Fuck .
I hate to admit it, but that was definitely something.
Jagger smiles, obviously flattered by Bay’s words. “I felt the same way. I couldn’t stop thinking about it for days, but you know that. What about Ryker’s kiss then?”
Yeah, what about my kiss?
I wait for Bay’s answer with bated breath.
“It was like when you take a sip of ice cold water on a hot summer day. And once we started kissing, I couldn’t stop. I needed more.”
She’s right. That’s exactly how I felt.
Jagger’s expression is hard to read when he looks at Bay for a moment without saying anything. Then his eyes drop down to her lips. “That sounds hot,” he admits. “But I bet I can do better. ”
That motherfucker.
Jagger has always been so fucking competitive.
He pulls Bay into his arms, crashing his lips on hers.
Fuck, that’s hot.
Everything about the way they’re kissing is hot.
The way he tangles his hand in Bay’s blonde hair, tugging her closer.
The way she melts against him, her body pressed against Jagger’s bigger frame.
The little noises that come from her when he deepens the kiss.
I can’t take my eyes off of them and when Jagger cups her tit with his free hand and pinches Bay’s nipple between his index and middle fingers? I’m so hard it’s painful.
They kiss, devouring each other’s mouths, their hands busy feeling, exploring.
I watch as he leaves her tits, slipping one hand under Bay’s denim skirt, lifting her thigh to his hip and surging forward. He grinds against her and her moan of approval as she bites his bottom lip is enough to make my cock throb in response.
I clear my throat, embarrassed and turned on at the same time. “I’d tell you two to get a room, but since we’re in Bay’s room, I guess that’s my cue to leave.”
I don’t even expect them to pay attention to what I said, but Jagger breaks the kiss. “You can leave if Bay wants you to, or… you can come over here and see if you can do any better with a kiss. Just FYI, my sexy Supernova is soaking wet.”
Bay’s eyes are fixed on me and I’m conflicted about what I should say next.
I want to kiss her again, but only if she wants that too.
I close the distance between us, facing Bay as Jagger positions himself behind her. “I want to kiss you,” I murmur. “Make it up to you for what an ass I was last night. Show Jagger than I can make you wet too. ”
“Prove it.”
That’s the only permission I need.
I cup her face with both my hands, touching her lips with mine.
God, just a shallow kiss is enough to send my heartbeat skyrocketing harder than after speed drills on the ice.
When I tease the seam of her lips with my tongue, she immediately allows me in and then I’m lost.
Our tongues twist and tangle, exploring, chasing, sending my need to unprecedented heights.
I advance, so that my chest touches hers. Jagger hasn’t moved, so that effectively traps Bay between us.
My lips leave hers, trailing down the column of her neck. Her body is so soft, and I’m fighting the urge to feel her tits the same way Jagger did because I don’t want to push my luck.
I’m dying to push my luck though and maybe I would if Jagger left.
My old friend though has other ideas. “What do you think Nova?” he asks, turning Bay’s head so that he can kiss her again. “Can he make you wet?”
A strangled noise comes from Bay. I think it might be a yes.
Jagger’s hand goes back under her skirt and I know he slipped his fingers into her panties by the way Bay’s breathing speeds up, a soft moan escaping her lips.
“So fucking wet,” Jagger chuckles, his expression unreadable. “But the real question is, can Ryker make you come like I can?”
Fuck, yeah. I can .
The words are on the tip of my tongue but I swallow them back, waiting for Bay’s reaction.
Her eyes are fixed on Jagger’s when she answers. “I don’t know. ”
“I want to see you come,” my teammate says, his voice softer than I’ve ever heard it. “We could tell Ryker to get lost and I could spend the rest of the afternoon making you come over and over, or…”
I have no idea what he’s trying to do, but I listen to his next words as if my life depends on it.
“Or we could see if Ryker really meant his apology and get him to help you rebound too.”
“How?” Bay asks.
It’s not a “Ryker get the fuck out of here”, so I’ll take it.
“Do you trust me?”
Strangely enough, seeing them make out made me hot rather than jealous. For the most part.
The way they’re looking at each other however, and the way Bay says “I trust you,” makes me want to kick Jagger’s ass and throw Bay on her bed and show her just how hard I can make her come.
“Then I think we should find out what Ryker can do. I have a couple of ideas.”
JAGGER
I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.
After I kissed Bay, I was about to tell Ryker to get lost and have my way with her.
But then I saw the way my teammate was looking at us and if I have to be honest, that made me hot.
I’ve seen countless teammates and frat brothers getting it on in public in the middle of a party and usually that shit doesn’t even hold my attention for longer than it takes to crack a joke about how horny they are.
Personally, I’ve always liked to keep my sex life private. The bunnies talk enough among themselves and there’s already enough locker room talk. I don’t need to feed the gossip mill any further.
However seeing Bay and Ryker kiss last night stirred something inside me.
At first I just wanted to see it again, so I encouraged Ryker to “kiss and make up.”
The kiss they just shared turned me on and pissed me off at the same time.
A part of me wants to challenge Ryker to make Bay come to show her that no one can make her feel as good as I can.
But what if he makes her come too? Then I guess Bay will have double the fun and that’s what rebounds should be about.
We still have our deal and I don’t think Ryker is a threat, or Bay wouldn’t have stayed in my arms while he was kissing her.
“Let’s see how sorry Ryker really is,” I challenge, teasing the spot behind Bay’s ear with the tip of my nose. “Get on your knees, Ryker. Use your mouth for good rather than for evil and let’s see if Bay likes it.”
Yeah, this is the other part of me that wants to have some fun and call the shots.
Ryker’s look turns into a scowl as we stare each other down. We might be friends but we’re both alpha type personalities and I’m marking my territory here.
It’ll be interesting to see if the desire to be in charge will win over Ryker’s desire for Bay.
“Do you want me to, Bay?” he finally says, ignoring me and leaving the decision in Bay’s hands.
Very well played.
Her voice is a little more than a whisper, almost breathless. “Yes.”
I watch with a mixture of surprise and satisfaction as Ryker sinks down on his knees in front of Bay .
“I’ve wanted to do this since that night on the plane,” he says, running the palms of his hands over Bay’s outer thighs. “I’ve been wondering how you taste since that night.”
He lifts her skirt and lowers his head, beginning to place open mouthed kisses on the creamy skin of her inner thighs, inching up with every kiss.
Bay squirms a little, leaning against my chest. “Enjoy it, Nova,” I whisper into her ear. “I’ve got you, I’m not going to let you fall.”
Ryker slips is fingers under the lace of Bay’s panties on her hips. “This ok?” he asks, beginning to lower the pale pink fabric.
“Hmm,” she nods and the panties are quickly disposed of.
At his first lick over the bare skin of her slit, Bay moans, resting her head on my shoulder.
Ryker must know what he’s doing or Bay must be very turned on, at least judging by the way she writhes against me with every pass of my teammate’s tongue.
I know the second Ryker focuses on her clit, because her knees give in and I’m supporting most of her weight.
“Oh my God,” she pants as he sucks on her tight bundle of nerves. “Don’t stop, Ryker, please.”
Hearing her beg him the same way she did with me, causes a strange feeling to expand in my chest. On one hand I wish it was me giving her pleasure, but deep down I want this for Bay. I want her to feel good, to know once and for all that there’s nothing wrong with her.
The fact that I’m part of this experience, that she’s in my arms while Ryker eats her out, fills me with a warmth I’ve never felt before.
“Oh, oh.”
The sounds she’s making now are just needy little moans and gasps as she gets closer to the edge.
I stop trying to read too much into my feelings and focus on Bay instead .
My fingers lift her tank top, exposing her perfect tits. I play with her hard little nipples as Ryker licks and sucks on her noisily.
“Are you gonna come for us, Nova?” I ask, running my lips down the delicate slope of her neck.
“I’m so close, Jagger,” she wiggles in my arms, her toned ass rubbing against my cock in my sweatpants. “I just need…”
I know exactly what she needs and I need it too.
“I’ve got you, Nova,” I growl, holding her against me as I lower my sweatpants, freeing my cock. “Ryker, hold on.”
I lift Bay’s hips and I sink into her easily, like a knife through butter.
“Fuck,” I grunt, already pulsing because of how wet, tight and silky she feels around me.
This is a different sensation than yesterday in the locker room. Entering her from behind makes us fit more snugly together and I love the feeling of her soft, smooth buttocks against my crotch.
I lean against the wall, changing the angle so that Bay is arched forward, on display for Ryker. “Let’s finish her off,” I say, encouraging Bay to rest her thighs on Ryker’s shoulders.
This time there’s no hesitation in my teammate’s eyes. He goes back to eating Bay’s little pussy with as much enthusiasm as I’m putting into every grind of my hips.
It doesn’t take long for our combined efforts to give Bay the extra push she needed and before I know it, her pussy is squeezing me into the tightest, wettest embrace of my fucking life.
“Fuck, I’m gonna come too.”
My movements still and I know I said this before, but I don’t think I’ve ever come so hard in my life.
I hold Bay tight, my arms banded around her waist as I pulse inside her .
When the pleasure begins to subside, I rest my forehead in the crook of her neck, catching my breath.
Bay’s thighs are still resting on Ryker’s shoulders.
My teammate is watching us, his expression unreadable as he scatters kisses all over her thighs.
No one speaks for a long moment, the only sounds in the room are our slightly labored breaths.
Eventually, I withdraw from Bay, lifting her off me before I help her back onto her feet.
“That was…”
“Hot?” I finish for her, hoping she isn’t regretting what just happened.
“Very hot,” she nods. “I only ever slept with two men before you, Jagger. But not together. I had no idea sex could be like this.”
I release a relieved breath, glad I didn’t push her too far. “Yeah, it was fun. What about you, Ryker?“
He arches a dark eyebrow, his expression dead serious. “I can’t say I’ve ever slept with any men. Not that there would be anything wrong if I had.”
I punch his bicep. “Dipshit.” I chuckle. “Not that it’s any of your business, but it was my first time too with a third person involved.”
Ryker’s eyes are fixed on Bay. “No offense to you dude, but just so you know, there was only one person I wanted to be with in this room.”
Now that the heat of the moment has passed, that weird feeling tugs at my chest again. I’m glad Bay had a good time, but I feel… possessive.
The way Ryker is looking at her, tells me that he might be pursuing Bay beyond earning her forgiveness for last night. The real question is, what am I going to do about it?
I set that thought aside, intent on watching the interaction between Bay and Ryker.
“I hope you know I’m sorry for how I acted last night.” Ryker says, grabbing Bay’s manicured fingers and bringing her knuckles to his lips.
“You’re almost forgiven,” she teases him.
“Almost?” Ryker’s exaggerated groan can’t hide his mirth. “Tough crowd, I see. I thought orgasms would be a better currency.”
Bay’s smiles is soft as she looks at my teammate. “Talking about orgasms, Jagger and I had one, you still look a little… tense.”
Sure enough, there’s a huge tent in Ryker’s sweatpants.
“I’ll take care of it.” He says.
“You will? You don’t want me to help?” Bay offers.
“I would love for you to help,” Ryker sighs. “But not today.”
She voices the same question that’s on the tip of my tongue. “Why?”
“Because this wasn’t about me. I don’t deserve to come until I’ve earned your forgiveness, Cinnamon.”
Well played, Ryker.
He brushes a kiss to Bay’s temple, before walking to the door.
I wait impatiently for him to leave because I can’t wait to cuddle with Bay.
The thought is so foreign for me that it takes me by surprise. I’ve never wanted to cuddle with a hookup before. What the fuck is happening to me?
I tell myself that it’s just possessiveness. The chemistry between me and Bay is out of this world, so it’s only natural I want to make sure no one gets between us. At least until I got her out of my system.
I don’t know what Ryker’s intentions are and I guess we’ll have to talk. We have most of the season to play hockey together and the last thing we need is to be getting in each other’s way .
I glare at him as he stands by the door, hand on the handle, looking at me the same way I’m looking at him.
I really want to stay here and maybe give Bay another orgasm, just to cement our friends with benefits status.
An incoming text message distracts me and I pull my phone out of my pocket. Ryker does the same.
Topher: Gamma meeting in twenty minutes in the den. Important issues to discuss, attendance is mandatory, including inactive members.
I sigh, pulling Bay close for a goodbye kiss. “We have a Gamma meeting downstairs. I hate when Topher does shit like that. What if people had plans?”
She nods sympathetically. “He and I had that discussion many times. I guess it comes down to the fact that to him there’s nothing more important than Gamma Delta Tau. Maybe the hockey team but it’s definitely behind Gamma. Especially since he’s president.”
There’s a hint of bitterness in Bay’s tone.
Even when I didn’t know her that well, I couldn’t help but notice how her ex-boyfriend had other priorities in his life. He treated Bay more like a commodity, a trophy girlfriend, than someone who truly mattered.
The thought hits me that if Bay was mine, she would be number one in my life.
I don’t have time to dwell on how disconcerting that is. I don’t do relationships because I like easy, uncomplicated. Relationships take work and I’ve never had the desire to put in that kind of effort on one person who wasn’t myself.
Until now.
I shake my head as I ask Bay if she’s gonna be ok.
“Yeah,” she smiles. “I wanted to go check on some of my sisters anyway and there’s no better time than the present. I’ll give you guys space since this meeting sounds important. ”
I brush her lips with mine, resisting the urge to deepen the kiss. “Text me later if you want to grab a bite to eat.”
I follow Ryker down the stairs with an unsettling feeling in the pit of my stomach.
Is a relationship with Bay what I want, or am I confusing lust for something else? Even if Bay was ready for more and she wasn’t on the rebound, would I be ready to be someone’s boyfriend without fucking it up?