Chapter 3 #2
“Callum…” She reaches for my hand. “Bren never told me.”
I slip my palm into hers. “The band was sworn to secrecy. They had been begging me to get myself together for years. I finally grew up and listened. It helped that my ma was getting treatment and had been clean for a while.”
“That’s great. It sounds like you’ve made a lot of positive changes in your life.”
“I have, but there’s still work to do.”
“So, talking with a professional works for you?”
“Yeah, my therapist helped me understand I wasn’t just self-medicating the obvious stuff. I was punishing myself for things that weren’t my fault.”
“Like what?”
“Like losing you. Not being strong enough to protect what we had and believing I deserved to lose everything good in my life.”
Livianna is quiet for a moment, then takes a deep breath. “Callum, I need you to know something.”
“What?”
“I know you didn’t cheat on me.”
The words almost knock the wind out of me. I pull back, adjust my place setting, and try to calm the racing in my heart. The restaurant noise fades to nothing.
She knows. She fucking knows.
“Lily…wow. Who told you?”
“Bren told me about how that night was staged.” Her voice is steady, but her eyes are bright with unshed tears. “Why did you put me through all that hell? Why did you let Zara and Leon ruin us?”
I can’t breathe. Can’t think. She knows the truth about that night, but she doesn’t know everything. She doesn’t know what Leon did to me to make me helpless to his demands.
I rest my arms on the table and do the best I can. “I know you won’t understand this, but they had me by the balls. Zara wanted to pay you back for getting her fired, and Leon was happy to help.”
Livianna sits straight, backing away from my excuse. “Bren told me all of that. What I don’t understand is why you gave in. It doesn’t make sense. You’ve always been extremely protective of me.”
I swerve. “How long have you known?”
“Since I moved to Malibu.”
There it is. The reason she didn’t come to me looking for answers. She was already with him, and that meant there was no room for me.
I need to make sure. “Why didn’t you talk to me about it when you found out?”
“Because knowing you were manipulated doesn’t erase the pain of what I went through. I needed time to figure out who I was without all that trauma defining me.”
“And now? Do you know who you are?”
“I learn a little more each day, but I want to move past everything we did to each other. If I could understand why I meant so little to you that you were able to hurt me like you did, then maybe we could take the first steps in healing.”
I stare into her eyes and focus on what I was responsible for. “It wasn’t like that. Leon… He had things he was holding over my head. He threatened everyone I love, and I couldn’t let him ruin those who mean the world to me. I won’t let that asshole touch anyone.”
She tilts her head and her eyes narrow. “Who?”
“Everyone in my life.”
“Even me?”
“You were the first person he went after. I couldn’t let him cause you any more agony than he already had.” My mouth goes dry, but I push on. “I choose to let you believe what Zara wanted because it kept you safe, and for that, I don’t regret any of it.”
There’s a moment where the air around us grows weighted from my truth, then her shoulders relax.
She fiddles with her napkin. “How was he going after me?”
My heart rate ticks up. I don’t know how to go down this path without telling her what I went through, and I’m not ready to do that.
I glance around to make sure no one is listening. A couple of people are checking us out, so I lean in closer to her.
“Livianna, he has information on all of us. You, Guns, Hawke, Cooper, me… Fucking hell, he has stuff on my ma, videos and shit that could…” I shift and take a moment to breathe. “He was set on making everyone I care about pay for what he thought I owed him.”
“Which was what?”
I give her part of the truth. “My pops’ estate and all of my earnings. Leon said if I didn’t give in to his demands, he’d take us all out.”
Her face drains of color, and she sits in stunned silence. Something like awareness settles in her expression.
“He was behind the media leaks when I got pregnant… All those stories and pictures, he let the tabloids come for me and paint me out as a villain. That’s why you felt the need to protect me. You saw what that did to me, and you wanted me away from his prying hands.”
“There was more to it, but yeah, he was the master behind all your misery. He spun all those articles to paint you out as someone you’re not, and he wasn’t gonna stop there.”
“Why didn’t you tell me then, and why are you able to be honest with me now?”
I huff a fake laugh. “It’s called therapy.”
“Seriously, Callum. Why?”
“Because I was barely eighteen, and I didn’t know how to deal with someone like him.
He owned my life, and I felt trapped. But I figured out how to get him to admit to all his blackmail.
Now, I’m the one who holds the power. As long as he stays away from me and everyone I love, he lives.
But if he ever steps near you, I’ll bury him. ”
“Callum, don’t say that.”
“Oh, I will. I mean it with every speck of my soul. If he even thinks of getting near you, I’ll—”
“Stop.” She gestures to my balled-up fists. “You’re getting worked up, and he’s not worth it. Let’s just finish dinner and forget about him.”
I move my hands to my lap. “You’re right. He doesn’t get to steal another minute of our lives.”
She takes a sip of her champagne, and I notice she’s shaking. Maybe I said too much, or maybe I didn’t help her make sense of it all.
“Lily?”
She places her glass down. “What?”
“Do you think you’ll ever forgive me for the constant fuck-ups I’ve put you through?”
She shows me a warm smile. “Yeah, give me some time to process it all, and I’ll get there. But I have things to apologize for as well.”
No, you don’t.” I slide my hand over hers. “Anything you did was just your way of trying to deal with the shit I did.”
We sit with that for a moment, then settle into the rest of dinner. Our conversation is lighter, and she laughs with free abandon. When the server asks whether we want dessert, Livianna orders a slice of pie and a coffee to go.
Once we have that and I’ve paid the check, we stroll out to the parking lot. A guy starts snapping pictures as soon as we’re in range of a good shot.
I tense. “Fucking hell. Let me handle this.”
“No, I’ve got this.” She winks and veers his way.
“What are you gonna do?”
“Get on their good side for once.”
I stop, and she strolls calmly toward the photographer. He raises his camera, but she shakes her head and approaches him.
What the hell is she doing?
She hands him the pie and the coffee. He takes it in wonder.
Don’t worry, I’m right there with you, mate.
They chat for a minute, then she struts back to me as if she just handled a business meeting.
“What?” She slides her palms into mine.
“You just… You fed the paparazzi.”
“I gave a working man some goodies.”
“But he was…” I gesture toward him.
“Doing his job. Which is a lot easier and less intrusive when you treat photographers like human beings instead of enemies.”
“What did you say to him?”
“He asked if we were together.” She lifts our hands. “Obviously, we are tonight, so I said yes.”
I stare at her, trying to process what just happened. “You’re incredible.”
“No, I’m just trying to put a positive spin on my life for once.”
“No, you’re incredible. Years ago, you would’ve hidden in the bathroom until they left.”
She’s quiet for a moment, seeming to consider something. “I guess I’ve learned that running away usually makes things worse. And now I know how to play their games to work in my favor.”
I laugh, and it’s lighter than it has been in a long time. “Look at us, being all mature and shit.”
“Don’t get too excited. I’m still a disaster most days.”
“Yeah, but you’re a disaster who just turned a potential tabloid nightmare into a human moment.” I kiss her knuckles. “That’s not nothing, Lily. That’s growth.”
“Maybe, but it’s not that big of a deal.”
We get to my car and I guide her in. Warmth settles in my chest, and then I’m immersed in it. This night might mean that we finally get a fresh start.
And that thought has me both flying high and shaken to my core, because if I lose her again, I’m not sure I’ll be able to survive it twice.