Chapter 11
Chapter Eleven
LIVIANNA/LILY
Now
First Love & New Love
When two worlds collide, how do you recover?
I’m halfway to the club’s exit when Callum catches up to me, his hand gentle on my elbow. The strobe lights cast fractured colors across his face, making him look like a broken kaleidoscope.
“Lily, wait.”
“I can’t do this, Callum. Not tonight.”
The desperation in his eyes almost breaks me.
“Please.” He steps closer, blocking out the noise behind him. “Don’t let Zara and Sebastian ruin what we’re building.”
“This isn’t about them.” I pull out my phone, fingers trembling as I try to call for a ride. “This is about your reaction to them. This is about me not knowing if I can trust the man you’ve become, or if you’re still the same person who…”
“Who what?” He gives a subtle shake of his head. “Who hurt you before? Who let other people manipulate me and destroy everything good in my life? Zara being that direct source.”
The agony in his confession stops me cold. Around us, the music thrums and bodies move, but we’re frozen in our own bubble of devastation.
“I don’t know,” I whisper. “That’s what scares me.”
He scrapes his teeth over his bottom lip, the gesture so familiar it makes my chest ache.
“Livianna, what can I do? Tell me what you need, and I’ll do it. We don’t have to dance. We don’t have to stay. Just...don’t give up on us.”
The plea in his voice is silent but deafening. I gaze at this man who’s fought so hard to become someone worthy of love, someone worthy of me, and I see the cracks in his foundation. The same cracks that ruined us before.
“Callum, I think it’s best if you just take me home.”
The disappointment that crosses his face is brutal, but he nods, extending his arm. “Okay. Let’s go.”
The paparazzi swarm us the second we step outside, flashes of light go off like small fireworks in the darkness. Callum’s palm finds the small of my back, guiding me through the mob with practiced ease.
The paparazzi yell out, “Livianna! What happened in there?”
“Cash, are you two having problems already?”
“Is the reunion over before it started?”
I keep my head down, letting Callum shield me from their hungry lenses until we reach his car. The valet has it waiting, engine running. Callum opens my door and helps me in with the same careful attention he showed me when we were teenagers.
The tension in the car is difficult to sit through. Los Angeles streams past the windows in neon blurs, and I focus on the city lights instead of the fear vibrating from the man beside me. His hands grip the steering wheel like he’s trying to keep himself anchored.
Halfway home, he reaches across the console. His fingers hover over my hand for a moment before settling on my knuckles.
I should pull away. I should maintain the distance I’m trying to create. Instead, after a heartbeat that feels like forever, I turn my palm up and let our fingers intertwine.
“I’m sorry.” His thumb traces across my skin. “I promised myself I wouldn’t let the old Cash make an appearance, and I failed.”
“Callum—”
“No, let me finish.” His grasp tightens. “I know what you saw tonight. I know what it looked like. And you have every right to be scared.”
“There’s more to it than just that.”
“Okay, but I love you. And I know that I’m not the same man who hurt you before, even if I had a moment of weakness tonight.” His voice drops to a deadly serious tone. “I need you to give me a chance to prove it.”
My heart squeezes and my stomach spins. By the time we reach my house, I’m stuck in confusion again. We sit in my driveway, and Callum turns to me.
“Lily, I need to be honest about something.”
“What?”
“I know you think violence is wrong. For the most part, I agree, but there are people out there who need to be stopped at any cost. And sometimes it’s well deserved.”
“Are you trying to justify your behavior tonight?”
“Not even close.”
“Then what are you saying?”
“You know that guy Tony? The one who… The asshole that took advantage of you?”
“Yeah. What about him?”
Callum’s gaze burns into mine. “They found him dead, beaten to a bloody stump, and dumped in an alley like the garbage he was.”
“Oh my God. That’s awful.”
“Why would you say that? He hurt you in unspeakable ways and deserved what he got.”
My mind hooks onto that New Year’s Eve when all Callum’s and my problems started. Bile crawls up my throat. Callum’s right. Tony was a horrible person, and the world is better without him.
“Lily, I know you don’t wanna hear this, but sometimes violence is the only way.”
“Callum, please don’t say that.”
“It’s true, and I’m not gonna lie to you. There are people out there, fucking terrible monsters who deserve to be tortured on their way out for all the pain and destruction they caused. And after years of deceit, I’ll tell you the truth. I hope all those motherfuckers get what they’ve earned.”
Why do I feel like he’s trying to tell me something?
He continues. “If you’re ever in harm’s way, I’ll fucking die trying to protect you. I won’t stop until I know nothing malicious will happen to you.”
“You’re being ridiculous. I’m not in any danger.”
“You sure about that?”
“Why would you ask me that?”
Callum studies me with a weighted stare. “Remember when you asked me about the tattoo on my arm? The one with the skeleton who was actually a fallen angel carrying a woman away from the gates of hell.”
I visualize the image. “Yeah. You said you liked the picture at the tattoo parlor. Why?”
“I lied to you back then.”
“About what?”
“There’s more to the ink etched on my skin.
That tattoo represents a vow I made to myself.
Here’s the meaning behind it. I’m the guy carrying the woman.
The woman is you. It’s me making sure no evil will ever touch you.
You’re safe in my arms, even if I have to die to get you out alive and protected. ”
Holy mother of God. What do I say to that?
“Callum…that’s a beautiful sentiment, but I—”
“Why do you think Sebastian and Zara are friends?”
I shake my head. “Maybe they’re lovers?”
“No. They’re both miserable people, and that’s why they hang out. They have the same dirty morals, so they understand each other.”
“Where are you going with this?”
He places his palm over his heart. “I want you safe, and when that’s threatened, I lash out. That won’t ever change, so maybe you need to consider if you can accept that.”
There’s more to his truth. I can see the determination and a deep-seated reason swirling in his eyes.
What’s he trying to tell me? I should ask, but something deep inside whispers for me to wait.
“Lily, if you can’t handle me protecting you, I understand. I’ll let you go, but I’ll never stop trying to keep you safe.”
My brow furrows. “Why are you so adamant about this?”
“Our life together was taken from me…from us. I want this to work. I want you to see what we were always meant to be. Not the broken keys that played out of tune and ruined our love song. What happened that caused our breakup was orchestrated and tore us apart just like they wanted.”
“I know.” I glance down.
Callum never cheated on me. He staged it in order to keep Zara from coming after me. But damn, the agony of that memory slices me apart.
I raise my gaze. “It still hurts, and that’s the part that scares me.”
“Yeah, I get that.” A growl rumbles from his throat. “Fuck ’em, Lily. I’m not gonna let them win. If you don’t wanna be with me because I wanna fight back, then so be it, but you and I are soulmates. You’ve said it yourself.”
The pain of our history fills my core. For the first time in a long time, my skin itches like it used to.
I have a sudden urge to dig my nails into my wrists. “Stop, Callum. This is all too much to process.”
“You said once before that you thought we were meant to be together. I just want you to think about that when you go to sleep because the last few nights, when you let me hold you in my bed, let your perfume linger on my sheets so I could smell you when you weren’t with me, have meant the world to me. ”
“Maybe I shouldn’t have done that…been so careless with your feelings.”
“If that’s the case, I don’t regret every extra second you’ve given me.” He shakes his head. “Don’t you get it, Lily?”
“What?”
“You’re my everything and have been since that first kiss in your parents’ kitchen. I just want you back so I can help you remember what we were before things got super fucked up.”
I take a long pause, trying to take calming breaths. “I need time to work this out in my head, Callum.”
“And I’ll honor that.”
“Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me. Just expect me to treat you like I should’ve been all these years.”
“Okay.” I turn and get out of the car.
Callum walks me to the door, his hand holding mine like he’s afraid I’ll disappear. Under the porch light, the exhaustion in every line of his face and the defeat in his rounded shoulders show the truth. I’m wearing him out.
“Lily.” He stops and faces me. The intensity in his blue eyes takes my breath away. “Everything I’ve ever done is because I love you. And you need to realize something.”
“What?”
“I’m not just falling for you again.” He cups my chin in his hand. “I’m desperately in love with you. It’s the kind of love that keeps me awake at night and makes me wanna be better than I’ve ever been. It’s the kind of love that terrifies me because losing you again would kill me.”
The confession hovers between us in the cool night air, raw, honest, and devastating. We stare at each other, and for a second, I’m seventeen again, lying in his bed after we made love.
I remember how gentle his hands were, how he worshiped me, planted kisses against my collarbone, and how he held me afterward like I was all he ever needed. I felt like I was floating, like I’d discovered something magical that belonged only to us.
Thinking about that night, I remember how I thought I would love him forever and that no one would ever touch my soul the way he did in that moment.