Chapter 12
Chapter Twelve
JAXON/JAX
Now
A Thousand Things I Won’t Say
Genuine heartbreak isn’t loud. It’s the sound of every word you’ll never get to say.
It’s one o’clock in the morning. I lift my phone from the nightstand and play the message that was just left. Livianna’s voice crackles through the line.
“Jax, I’m not okay. We need to talk.”
Four seconds of audio and suddenly I’m wide awake, staring at the ceiling of my bedroom while my heart hammers against my ribs like it’s trying to break out.
I should delete it and pretend I never heard the vulnerability in her voice, the way it cracks on the word “okay” like she’s been crying.
I should maintain the professional distance I worked so hard to create in my office yesterday, the cold dismissal that cut us both but felt necessary. Instead, I play it again.
“Jax, I’m not okay. We need to talk.”
“About what, Livianna? The fact that we know nothing about each other after all this time? The fact that neither one of us opened up completely, and now we’re here because of our secrets.”
I sit up, scrub my hands over my beard, and trek downstairs to my study. The house feels enormous around me. Why I let Greg Hemmings talk me into getting something this big is something I wonder about whenever I’m here.
When I bought it, it made sense because this gated community in the Palisades is secure. It has multiple exit routes, private security patrol, and neighbors who value discretion above all else. But tonight, it just feels like a beautiful prison.
I almost went to the Malibu place, but it’s Livianna’s now. I don’t belong there. That, and Livianna’s new home is just a few houses away.
Maybe I wanted to be close to her tonight. It’s a gamble, considering she’s been sleeping at Cash’s place. That was made clear from our interaction today.
My chest aches just thinking about it. I pour myself three fingers of The Macallan 25. My phone sits on the desk, begging for my attention as her voicemail plays on repeat in my head.
The rational part of my mind catalogs all the reasons I shouldn’t call her back. She made her choice. She’s with Cash now, building something with someone who can give her the normal life she deserves. Someone whose past isn’t the kind that gets people killed.
But the other part, the part that fell for her over two years ago, wants to drive to her house right now and make sure she’s taken care of.
I take a sip of my beverage and open my laptop instead, pulling up investment portfolios for review.
Numbers don’t lie. Numbers don’t break your heart or leave voicemails that make you question every decision you’ve made.
I scroll through projections and market analyses, trying to lose myself in the familiar rhythm of risk assessment and profit margins.
A biotech startup in Switzerland. A renewable energy company in Denmark. A tech firm developing quantum encryption.
But my mind keeps drifting to a year ago, to the French Riviera and the week when everything between us was perfect. I sit back and bask in the memory of better days.
Then
One Year Before Now
The Seraphine cuts through azure water like a knife through butter, her twin engines purring as we leave the harbor in Saint-Tropez and head toward Monaco.
Livianna stands at the bow, the wind whipping her hair around her face. One of her sundresses from her collection is clinging to curves that make my pulse race.
“Jax, I still can’t believe this is your yacht.” She turns to me. Her gaze, bright with wonder. “It’s like something out of a movie.”
This yacht is more than a luxury. It’s sovereignty. Two hundred feet of Italian craftsmanship with six staterooms, a helipad, and enough encrypted technology to conduct sensitive business from international waters.
Out here, the threats that follow me on land can’t reach us. Out here, I can just be Jax, the man falling soul-deep in love with a woman who has no idea how dangerous my world really is.
Most people see the exquisite art and infinity pool first. What they don’t see is the hidden armory, the signal jammers, and the escape routes I’ve built into every level.
“This vessel is useful for business meetings that require complete privacy.” I move behind her and my palms settle on her waist. “And an occasional rendezvous.”
She laughs, leaning back against me. “When was the last time you took a real vacation before this?”
“Probably when we went to the vineyard.”
“Well, this will be as good as that trip was.” She turns in my arms, scanning my face with those eyes that take my breath away. “Or we can make it even better. I have a full week with you to give you everything you desire.”
“I like the sound of that.”
We anchor in a secluded cove near Monaco. The crew retreats to their quarters, leaving us alone on deck under stars that seem close enough to touch.
Livianna has changed into something silky and midnight blue that makes her look like she’s been carved from moonlight.
“Tell me something.” She curls up beside me on the outdoor lounge, her bare feet tucked under her thighs.
“What do you want to know?”
“Something you’ve never told anyone else.”
I’m quiet for a long moment, staring at the lights of Monaco glittering across the water. There’s so much I could tell her.
I could tell her about Julian Everhart and the family I lost. I could tell her about the enemies who hunt me. But those truths would destroy this moment and would make her understand why loving me is the most dangerous thing she could do.
I give her part of the truth. “I’m terrified.”
She pulls back and studies me.
“My king fears something?” She places her hand on my heart. “What are you afraid of?”
“Of this.” I gesture between us. “Of how much I want this to work when everything in my life says it can’t.”
She sits with that for a few beats. My stomach twists because I think I’ve said too much. She intertwines our fingers together with a certainty that makes my throat tight.
“What if it can, Jax? What if we make it work despite everything else?”
I kiss her with meaning and full of all the words I can’t say. She tastes like champagne and dreams. When she whispers my name against my lips, I almost lose myself and tell her how I feel about her.
As the night deepens, we move inside. The yacht rocks us as we make our way to the main stateroom. The room is bathed in the soft glow of moonlight filtering through the portholes, casting a silver sheen over everything.
Livianna’s eyes meet mine, filled with a hunger that matches my own. “I want you, Jax.”
“Then take me. Tonight, you lead.” My voice, rough with desire.
She steps closer, her palms exploring my chest, tracing the lines of my muscles. The heat of her body and the softness of her skin drive me wild.
I wrap my arms around her. My mouth finds hers in a fierce, passionate kiss. Our tongues dance, exploring each other’s depths, tasting and teasing.
Livianna’s hands move lower, unbuttoning my shirt. Her fingers graze my skin and send shivers down my spine.
I groan against her lips. I pull her hips forward, flush against me so she can feel the hard length of my arousal.
She breaks the kiss, her breath ragged, and gazes up at me with a smirk. “I think you’re wearing too many clothes, Jax.”
“Is that so?” I chuckle and find the edge of her dress.
I take my time and lift it over her head. She stands before me in a lacy black bra and matching thong. Her body is a work of art.
I reach out, cupping her breasts. My thumbs brush over her hard nipples through the fabric.
Livianna’s head falls back, a soft moan escaping from her.
“You like that, mon trésor?”
“More,” she breathes.
Her fingers go to my belt, and she races to undress me. I lift her effortlessly and carry her to the large bed.
I lay her down. “Tell me what you want?”
I cover her body with mine. My mouth finds her neck, her collarbone, and her breasts. I tease her nipples through the lace, my teeth grazing the sensitive flesh, making her arch against me.
“Jax, please.” Her hands weave into my hair.
I move lower as I trail kisses down her stomach. My fingers hook into the waistband of her thong. I pull it down, my eyes never leaving hers. She lifts her hips, helping me.
God, the sight of her is breathtaking. She’s absolutely beautiful.
Her legs fall open in invitation. “I want your mouth on me.”
“Then you shall receive.” I settle between her thighs, and my tongue finds her center.
I tease her, licking, sucking, and building her pleasure until she’s writhing beneath me. The way she moves undoes me. I’ve never wanted anyone like I want her.
She groans and fists the sheets. I slide a finger inside her, then another, curling them to hit that special spot that makes her moan out my name.
“Yes, Jax. Don’t stop.”
When she’s on the edge, I crawl up her body. My fingertips trace up her arm. Her silky skin sets me on fire.
I position myself at her entrance. I stare into her eyes, seeing my own desire reflected back at me. When I can’t wait anymore, I push inside her, filling her fully. We both exhale, our bodies fitting together perfectly.
“See what you do to me.” I thrust, slow at first, then faster.
Livianna meets each movement, her hips rising to meet mine. “Harder, Jax. Give it to me hard.”
Her legs wrap around me like a vice. The room fills with gasps of our breathing, our moans, and our skin slapping together.
“Livianna, you’re amazing. Being inside you like this is everything. I’ll never get enough.”
“Then give me more.”
I circle my arms around her shoulders and hold her tight.
“Like this?” I angle myself and give her what she’s asking for. “You want it hard like this?”
“Yes, but I want you from behind.”
“Anything for you.” I roll us over and pull her hips up.
She peeks back at me and flashes me a sinful smile. I smack her ass and push into her. It’s all I can do to keep from coming apart.
I bow over her, take my palm to her throat, and tighten on her pulse point, careful not to squeeze her windpipe.