Chapter 28 #2
“Partnership. Me moving in here with you puts us on the path we should’ve been on since we first got together.”
“I like the sound of that.” I take a sip of coffee and moan at the deliciousness. “God, this is good.”
“Glad I didn’t disappoint.”
“You could never disappoint me.”
He rests back and studies me for a moment. “Do you think you’ll ever regret any of this?”
“No. I love you, Callum, and memories won’t change that.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“Because what I feel isn’t fake. Even if I get my memory back tomorrow, I know how I feel now. Please stop trying to minimize that.”
“I’m not. It’s just…” His shoulders slump. “What if you decide I’m not what you want?”
“Let me ask you a question.”
“Shoot.”
“Were we working to make it back to one another before my accident?” I lift my eyebrows.
“Yes. But—”
“Stop searching for obstacles, Callum.”
“I’m not.” He glances toward our bedroom, then back at me. “I’ll always want you. I’m just making sure you feel the same.”
“That’s fine, but if you can’t live in the here and now, how do we go forward?”
“We don’t.” He pushes away from the table. “Let’s get you to work. We’re already getting out of here later than you wanted.”
He’s deflecting, and I’m considering confronting him about what broke us up. I stay seated for a second, but rise to my feet when I know we’re just going around in circles. This conversation has to stop, or else I’m going to lose my mind.
I gather my belongings and take his hand in mine. “Please try to enjoy our reunion.”
“Believe me, I’m trying.”
“Try harder because it could be a lot worse.”
He’s quiet after that, leading me to his rental car and helping me inside. On our way to work, I can’t help but wonder why he’s so caught up in thinking I wouldn’t want this with him.
The morning light filters through the windshield of Callum’s loaner car as we pull into the parking structure beneath my office building. My stomach twists into knots, but I keep my expression neutral and my hands folded in my lap. I don’t want him to know I’m terrified.
Going back to work should feel normal, routine even. But walking into a company I supposedly built is like stepping onto a stage without knowing my lines.
“How are you feeling?” Callum’s hand finds mine, his thumb tracing circles over my knuckles. “Physically, I mean. After yesterday.”
Heat floods my cheeks at the memory of tangled sheets. “I’m good. Great, actually.”
“I wasn’t too rough with you?” His brows draw together with what seems like genuine concern. “I know you said to stop holding back, but I kept thinking about your ribs, and—”
“Callum.” I squeeze his hand. “You didn’t hurt me. I promise. If anything hurt, I would’ve told you.”
He studies my face as if he’s searching for signs I’m lying. “You’re sure? No soreness, no pain anywhere?”
“A little sore.” I show him a small smile. “But in the best way possible.”
His shoulders relax, but worry still lingers in his eyes. “If you need to leave early today because it’s too much, just call me. I can be here in twenty minutes.”
The knots in my stomach tighten. He’s worried about me physically, but what about mentally? What if I walk into that building and everyone expects me to know things I don’t? What if I make a fool of myself in front of my entire team?
“I’ll be okay.” The words come out steadier than I feel. “You need to get back to work, and I have a lot of information about this deal I need to go over.”
He lifts my hand to his lips and presses a kiss to my knuckles. “But seriously, Lily. Don’t push yourself too hard.”
“I won’t. Besides, Ella said she’ll help me with anything I might need.”
“Right.” He glances out the windshield. “Your pops is sure telling them you’re only dealing with short-term memory loss is the way to handle this. I have to believe he knows better than we do.”
“He wouldn’t give me bad advice.” I gaze out the window. “I just hope I don’t let on how much I don’t remember.”
“You’ll be great.” He releases a heavy sigh. “Let me walk you in.”
“No. If you do, I won’t want you to leave.” I lean over and plant a kiss on his cheek. “Go before I lose my nerve.”
“Maybe we should—”
“No, Callum. I need to get back on schedule. The doctor even said I could continue normal activities as long as I’m ready. And I’m ready now.”
He reaches up, cupping my face in his palm. “You’re so fucking brave. It makes me love you even more than I already do.”
“And I fall more in love with you every day.” I pull away and push the door open. “Now go on, rockstar. Go make that album the world is demanding.”
He laughs under his breath. “Anything for you, vixen.”
I get out of the car and give him two thumbs up, telling myself I can handle today on my own. “You’ll be here to pick me up?”
“Just call when you’re ready.”
“Will do.” I shut the door, hold my head high, and stroll toward the elevator to my office.
Once I’m inside and the lift is ascending, I try to give myself a mental pep talk. My mind has other plans. Every doubt I have rears its ugly head.
What if I can’t pull this off? What if I tank my business? What if everyone figures out I’m a fraud?
I force down the thoughts. I just need to get back into a rhythm.
The elevator doors open on my floor. I hesitate to step out, but do. My legs shake as I stride down the hallway.
I stop when I get in front of my office door. I reach for the doorknob, but freeze before my hand touches the metal.
My insecurities scream. What do I think I’m doing? There’s no way I can pull this off.
My heart pounds. My breathing picks up, and my wrists get that itchy sensation I know too well. I have to scratch away the increasing terror that’s creeping up my spine. If not that, then this approaching panic attack is certain to take me under.