Chapter 33
Chapter Thirty-Three
LIVIANNA/LILY
Now
Rattling Ringtones & White Magic
My brain refuses to remember, but that doesn’t stop my reactions.
Iplace a profit-and-loss statement on my desk, my head held high. Lehlani Rose Designs is doing better than I ever dreamed.
Quinn strolls into my office. She must do this a lot because she acts as if it’s the most normal thing in the world. “Pilates tonight. I won’t take no for an answer.”
“Pilates?” I visualize a reformer and making a complete ass out of myself trying to operate one. “Quinn, I think I need to have a few private sessions to get back to the level I was before.”
“No, you don’t. It’s like riding a bike. You might be rusty, but after one class you’ll be right back to where you were.”
I force a smile and gesture to the chair across from my desk. “Can we talk for a minute?”
“Sure.” She settles into the seat and crosses her legs. Her expression shifts from playful to concerned. “What’s going on?”
My pulse quickens and I glance at the closed door behind her. The words sit heavy on my tongue. My stomach knots because I need to know if I can trust her, but I can’t just blurt out the truth.
“Actually, about Pilates…” I shift forward and rest my elbows on the desk. “Can I ask you something?”
“Yes.”
“How would you handle it if someone told you something really personal? Something that could change how people see them?”
“Is this hypothetical or are we talking about you?”
I don’t answer. Instead, I study her reaction, gauging whether she seems like someone who would keep a secret or run straight to someone else with it.
“I’m just trying to figure out who I can be completely honest with.” I drum my fingers on the desk.
“You can trust me.” She narrows her eyes. “Have I let you down so far?”
“That’s just it.”
“What?”
“How good of friends would you say we are?”
“Ever since we met at Andrew’s wedding, you’ve confided in me about all sorts of things.” She tilts her head as her brow furrows. “What’s this about, Livianna?”
“Before I share, I need to know you won’t say anything to anyone.”
“You know I won’t.”
“Do I?”
“Absolutely.”
My shoulders relax and I pray I’m making the right choice because I could really use a friend. “My accident was worse than most people know.”
“How?” Worry stretches across her face.
“You know my short-term memory loss?”
“Yeah, what about it?”
“The truth is, I can’t remember anything from the past five years.” I keep my gaze on her face.
“Five years?” She doesn’t flinch. She just nods and sinks back in her chair. “Wow.”
“Quinn, promise me you won’t say anything.”
“I won’t. You can trust me.”
“Really?”
“Yes. Just tell me what you need.” She scoots to the edge of her seat. “Oh my God. I just realized you don’t remember me at all.”
“I’m sorry. I wish I did.”
“Me too.” She stands and strides to the window. She turns back to me. “How are you managing your business? How are you…?”
“Doing anything?”
“Yeah.”
I rise to my feet and pace near my desk. “I’m trying to immerse myself in the details, the business reports, and any notes I can find. It helps that Jaxon has been getting me up to speed but I can’t keep relying on him.”
There’s a knock on my door. “Come in.”
Ella peeks her head in. “Sorry to interrupt.”
“It’s not a problem.” I purposely soften my stance. “What’s up?”
“We have meetings today to finalize the Marcus Chen plans. I was just seeing if Jaxon would be assisting you today like he did yesterday.” Ella spots Quinn. “Oh, hi.”
“Hi, Ella.” Quinn smiles and then shakes her head. “Don’t count on Jaxon today. He’s dealing with a major issue regarding an investment in Malaysia.”
A shooting pain slices behind my eyes and my chest tightens. I grit my teeth and try to work through it.
“Livianna, is everything okay?” Ella steps closer to me.
I find my chair and sit. “Yes, just a little dizzy. After effects from my accident.”
“Make sense.” Ella glances at Quinn. “I’ll let you two get back to your conversation.”
“I’ll only keep her for a few more minutes.” Quinn returns to her seat. “Promise.”
Ella excuses herself. I bury my head in my hands and rub my temples.
Quinn stares at the door for a brief moment before bringing her attention back to me. “You sure you’re okay?”
“I will be. Sometimes I get these splitting headaches.”
“Is there anything I can do?”
“Yeah, let me skip Pilates.”
She laughs. “Done. Anything else?”
“If you’re serious, there is something.” I take a sip of coffee that’s gone cold. “Would you help me remember what you can?”
“You know I will. Just tell me what you want to know.”
“Do you have time to walk to the coffee shop? We can talk on our way.”
“I never say no to a latte. You know that.” She grimaces. “Sorry. You don’t know that.”
“Please don’t treat me like I’m broken. I’m not. I just need someone who will be honest with me.”
“Let’s go get our drinks.” She gets to her feet and flashes me a mischievous grin. “You’re buying.”
“Fair.” I grab my purse and follow her to the door. I sweep my gaze around the room and release a heavy sigh.
“Something wrong, Livianna?”
“No, I just feel like I’m forgetting something.”
She pats me on the back. “You are.”
“What?”
“The last five years of your life.”
I huff and roll my eyes. “I like you, Quinn. You tell it how it is.”
“That’s one of the reasons you trust me.”
“That sounds like me.”
“Let me get my jacket from my office.” She gestures toward the hallway.
We leave, and I wait for her in the entryway of Crowne Ventures International US headquarters. I wrap my arms around my waist and take in the area.
The longer I stand here, the more tense I get. Heat bubbles up in my chest.
What is wrong with me?
“Livianna?” Jaxon’s voice behind me startles me.
I jump a little and turn his way. My stomach twists and not in a good way.
“Hi, Jaxon.” It comes out clipped.
His warm brown eyes roam over me. “I was just going to check on you.”
“You don’t need to do that.” My words come out harshly. “I know you have more important things to deal with in Malaysia.”
A flash of pain slices through my brain, but I pretend I don’t notice.
“Livianna, are you…?”
“What, Jaxon? Just say what you’re skirting around.”
He pulls back, slides his hands into the pockets of his designer pants, and studies me. “My issues in Malaysia aren’t more important than you.”
“Right. I’m supposed to believe that.”Another strike of agony cuts through my mind and I brace myself. “Just go back to your work.”
He steps toward me. “Are you upset with me about something?”
“No.”
“Could’ve fooled me.”
“Stop, Jaxon.” I squeeze my eyes shut, praying for relief.
His phone rings. It’s some kind of preset ringtone that signals he purposely set it so he knows who’s calling. Fire erupts in my heart and I glare his way.
He takes his phone out of his suit pocket and stares at the screen for a second, like he’s debating answering it.
“Take your damn call, Jaxon. I know you want to.”
His eyes snap to mine. “Livianna—”
“Ready to go.” Quinn joins us in the lobby and addresses Jaxon. “We’re going to get a latte. Do you want something while we’re out?”
His gaze stays on me like he’s waiting for me to do something. What that is, is beyond anything that makes sense to me. All I know is the longer that stupid ringtone goes off, the more my head hurts.
“Quinn, I want to go now.” I rush to the door, not understanding any of my out-of-control emotions.
Jaxon’s shoulders grow tense as I march for the door. His phone continues its shrill demand for attention, but he doesn’t move to answer it.
“Livianna, wait.” His voice carries an edge I can’t quite identify.
It stops me in my tracks. I pause with my hand on the handle, peeking back at him.
“What, Jaxon?”
“If you need anything…” His concerned-filled eyes flick to Quinn before returning to me. “Let me know if you need anything.”
“I’m fine.” The words come out sharp.
Quinn takes hold of my elbow. “We’ll be back in twenty minutes.”
Jaxon’s phone stops ringing. The quiet is a welcome change. He slides it back into his pocket without checking who called.
“You two need to be careful.” His expression deepens with something I can’t read. “Let me have my driver take you two.”
Control freak.
Jesus, I need to get out of here before I burn the bridge between Jaxon and me.
“That won’t be necessary.” I push through the door and into the hallway.
My chest loosens the moment I’m out of that confined space, like I can finally breathe again. Quinn falls into step beside me as we stride toward the elevator.
“The coffee shop is two blocks away.” She doesn’t say anything more as we descend to the main level of our office building.
When we’re outside and strolling along the sidewalk, I break the silence. “So, tell me about my life.”
“That’s a broad request.” She glances at me with a small smile. “Where do you want to start?”
“My love life.”
Quinn’s eyebrows lift. “Your love life?”
“Yeah.” I wrap my arms around my waist as we walk. “What do you know about it?”
“I know you’re with Cash. Why?”
“I don’t know.” A picture of Jaxon floats across the screen of my mind. I growl for some unknown reason. “It’s just…”
“Just what?”
We cross at the intersection and continue down the next block. A couple passes us, holding hands and laughing at something private between them. The sight of them is sweet and helps relieve tension in my muscles.
“There’s this feeling I can’t shake.” I slow my pace, trying to put words to something I don’t understand. “Like something’s missing.”
“Missing how?”
“I can’t explain it.” I curl my fingers into my palms. “Callum is wonderful. He’s attentive, loving, and everything I’ve always wanted. But there’s this emptiness in my heart that won’t go away.”
Quinn stops and faces me. “Emptiness?”
“Not with him. He’s perfect.” I give her my attention, searching for the right explanation. “It’s more like...a hole in my chest that I don’t know how to fill. Something that feels important, but I can’t access it.”