Epilogue
Sister Matthews walked the rows of the garden, looking for any last harvest that they’d missed.
She prayed for a tomato that’d been hiding among the greenery or a carrot that’d never been pulled from the ground.
Even a bit of lettuce that’d already bolted would be fine, just as long as she had something to put in the children’s bellies.
“It isn’t fair that the garden failed so badly this year, especially after the fire last winter.” Sister Andrews trailed along behind her, checking over every plant a second time.
“I would agree with you, but I’m not sure there is any such thing as fair. Not after what I’ve seen.” Sister Matthews reached the end of the row and turned into the next one.
The Kincaid brothers had burned the pantry and all of the food inside it.
She’d had hope when Ben had gone over the mountains to Antelope Springs, and indeed a large load of food and supplies had been delivered shortly afterward.
It’d been enough to get them through the worst of winter and into the spring months when they could plant.
But spring rains had come, creating a wetter season than Sister Matthews had ever seen before. They’d planted late but still with hope until a heat wave had shriveled up the young plants.
Catching a glimpse of red, her heart jumped as she pulled aside a plant.
A tomato sat in the dirt underneath it, having fallen from its blossom.
Sister Matthews picked it up, but the fruit collapsed at the gentle touch of her fingers.
The dark, seedy insides oozed out onto the ground. Worms writhed in protest among them.
“We’ve already slaughtered what we could of the goats and chickens,” Sister Andrews said quietly. “What are we going to do?”
“The thing we were trained to do,” Sister Matthews replied resolutely, picking up her skirts and walking over the rows. There was no point in continuing to punish themselves by looking through the garden when they wouldn’t find anything. “We’ll pray.”
The interior of the church was dark and cool, but it was far too quiet. She couldn’t enter the church without thinking about Father Tillman. His sermons were too long sometimes, but she’d have gladly listened to every word if she could only have him back.
The church had promised a new priest, but he’d yet to come. They were on their own.
Her knees cracked and ached as she knelt before the altar and bowed her head. Sister Matthews prayed fiercely, begging God to show them some mercy.
I know there is much to be learned in suffering, but please don’t make the children go through this. They’ve been through enough.
Then, as it often did, her mind turned to Ben. Sister Matthews felt the familiar clench in her heart as she worried for him. Hadn’t she warned him not to go through the pass? Hadn’t she told him it was dangerous?
Then again, she couldn’t know what other perils might have awaited him even if he made it through the pass.
Sister Matthews had to assume that Ben was the one behind the generous shipment of food they’d received last fall, though the drivers who’d delivered it didn’t seem to know anything. What happened to him after that?
He wouldn’t just leave them. Even when he’d run off to join the army, he’d left a note on his bed. Ben hadn’t wanted them to worry. He always was so concerned about others, even when he had so little.
Perhaps that was why he was one of her favorites. Sister Matthews bowed her head a little deeper. She wasn’t supposed to have favorites. She was supposed to love them all as her own, and she certainly did.
It was just that Ben was the first who felt as though he truly was her own. He was at the orphanage, waiting out his childhood like all the rest of them, and yet he belonged there. He was a part of them.
Please, God, keep Your hand over Ben wherever he may be.
I wish you could tell him that I think about him all the time, that I look up at the valley rim every day, hoping to see him coming over it.
I wish he could know just how much I love him.
Wherever he is, whatever he’s doing, I just want to see him and know he’s all right.
She felt a gentle touch on her shoulder and opened her eyes.
“It’s time for supper,” Sister Andrews said, her tone solemn and sad. “I think we’ll also have to tell them the truth about what’s happening.”
“Amen.” Sister Matthews crossed herself and stood up. “Most of them have probably figured it out by now, but I think you’re right.”
Her feet felt heavy as she trudged across the church to the door that led into the orphanage.
There had been tough times throughout the years but never had Sister Matthews thought this day would come.
Never did she think she’d have to sit all the children down at the dining table and announce the closing of St. Thomas.
“Get the bowls, please, Florence,” Sister Andrews instructed. “We’re having porridge.”
“But we had that for breakfast,” Emmitt complained.
“And for lunch,” Shane added dismally.
“Yes, but shouldn’t we be grateful?” Sister Matthews reminded them. “Mr. Brooks gave us a whole sack of oats that he could’ve used to feet his family.”
The boys frowned, but they nodded.
“I’ll get the butter,” Cassie volunteered, rushing into the kitchen.
Sister Matthews waited for her to return with the little crock. At least the remaining goats were still giving them milk and butter, which made the porridge go further and taste better. Still, it wasn’t enough.
As Sister Andrews put the pot of oats on the table, Sister Matthews clapped her hands to get everyone’s attention. “Before we stay grace tonight, there’s something I’d like to speak to all of you about.”
She looked around at all the hollow little faces. They looked back with hope and expectation. These children relied on her for their safety and wellbeing. Sister Matthews had done her best, but she’d failed.
“I think you all know that things have been difficult lately. We’ve done our very best to recover from the pantry burning last year, but we didn’t get the bountiful blessing we usually do from our garden.
” She wouldn’t say whose fault it was that the pantry had burned.
That awful man hadn’t been in their lives for a long time, and Sister Matthews refused to resurrect his ghost.
“We’re going to have to go away, aren’t we?” Emmitt asked.
She reached over and put her hand over his. “The orphanage is going to close, yes. It won’t be as bad as it sounds. We’ll find places for each of you.”
The nearby parishes would help. They’d place the children in homes or in other orphanages. Some of the children might be sent off as far as California or Utah. They’d be split up, and they’d likely never see each other again.
“Wait. Where’s Lonnie?” Florence asked. “I haven’t seen him all afternoon.”
“Oh, my.” Sister Matthews had been so distracted by her bad news that she hadn’t realized the boy was missing. “He went up into the hills to look for berries. He should be back by now!”
Emmitt was already on his feet and charging out the front door. “There he is!” he cried. “And he’s got company!”
Sister Matthews and Sister Andrews exchanged a worried look. Had the Kincaid brothers come back? They couldn’t handle any further trouble, especially without Father Tillman or Ben to help defend them.
Perhaps the church had sent someone to collect the orphans early. Sister Matthews had written to the diocese to tell them of their plight, but she didn’t think the final decision had been made yet.
She lifted her skirt as she stepped out onto the porch, her heart heavy with sadness.
Most of the orphans would have left at some point, either when they were adopted or old enough to start their own lives.
Her job was one that was full of goodbyes, but they never got easier. She didn’t want to let them go yet.
Lonnie was running down the path toward the orphanage, his skinny arms and legs pumping quickly. He was smiling as he skidded to a stop in front of Sister Matthews. “They’ve brought food!”
“What?” She squinted into the dim evening light, studying the two wagons that lumbered down into the valley. “Who is it?”
“I don’t know.” Lonnie braced his hands on his knees as he tried to catch his breath. “They asked if they were taking the right way to St. Thomas, but they weren’t! So I asked them why they’d want to go there, and they told me. The wagons are full of food! I saw it!”
“Thank you for bringing them here,” Sister Matthews said, though she wasn’t yet sure of the situation. She’d become distrustful of strangers, and for good reason.
But as the first wagon drew closer, she could tell that it was indeed heavily laden with crates, barrels, and sacks. The driver waved and smiled. He laughed when he pulled to a halt and all the children surrounded the wagon.
“Well, I think we’ve found the right place!” he said, his eyes twinkling. “Are you Sister Matthews?”
“I am, but who are you? Emmitt, don’t take anything!”
“He’s welcome to it. I’ll need some help unloading, after all. My name is Hank.” The driver stuck out his hand.
“It’s nice to meet you. Forgive me, but I’m very confused. I don’t know where all of this has come from.”
Emmitt jumped into the wagon and began passing parcels down to Shane, who distributed them to the other children depending on their weight.
The oldest children took the heavier items, and smaller children teamed together.
He even gave little Alice an apple to carry.
She toddled across the yard, holding it high and grinning.
“We were hired by the Davies estate. A young man named Ben set it all up,” Hank said with a shrug.
“Ben?” Sister Matthews nearly shouted the word. “Ben Hale?”
“Well, I don’t know for certain, Sister. I thought he was Ben Davies. Oh, wait. There’s a letter.” He dug around under the seat of the wagon until he produced an envelope.
She tore it from his hands and ripped it open.
Sister Matthews,
I wanted to send something a long time ago. I imagine you’ve gone through the first shipment that was arranged through Randall Davies a long time ago. It’s been a complicated matter, but I hope I’m not too late. Hank and Jim are good men, and I trust they’ll get everything to you safely.
Someday, I’ll see you again and I’ll explain everything. I could write it all down, but it just wouldn’t be the same. Take care and know that I’m alive and well.
Love, Ben
“Oh.” Sister Matthews pressed her hand to her chest. Tears streamed down her face, but she brushed them aside as she read the letter repeatedly. Ben was all right. As desperate as she was to understand what’d happened, the news had made her so happy that it didn’t matter.
Hank put his hand on her arm. “I’m awfully sorry if I’ve upset you.”
“No.” She pulled a hankie from her sleeve and wiped her face. “It’s good news. Forgive a sentimental old woman. Please, the two of you must have traveled a long way. Would you like to join us for supper?”
He started to shake his head, but then he admired the orphans as they worked together to unload the wagon. “Yes, Sister. We’d love that. I’d also like a chance to talk to you, if I might.”
Sister Andrews was brewing up a dinner unlike anything they’d had in months. The smells that escaped the kitchen were already making Sister Matthews mouth water as she brought Hank into her office. “Is everything all right?”
“Yes, yes. Absolutely.” He sat down in the chair she indicated and yanked his hat off of his head, clutching it in his hands. “I, um, I was wondering what the procedure is for adopting a child or two?”
“You’re interested in adopting?” It’d been too long since she’d heard those words. Sister Matthews had felt as though the whole world had abandoned them, but now a new light had been shed on the orphanage.
“My wife and I haven’t been blessed with any children, and we don’t believe we will be.
But those two boys who jumped to work unloading the wagon, well, they seem like they’d make a wonderful addition to our family.
I’d like to spend a little time with them while I’m here, to make sure, but I thought I should say something to you first.” His deep brown eyes were full of hesitant hope.
To have two boys who were such good friends go to the same home? It was too good to be true! Emmitt and Shane would be thrilled. They’d both grown and matured over the past year or so, and she had no doubt they’d be wonderful for Hank and his wife.
“I appreciate it. You’ll love them, I’m sure. When you make your decision, we can get started.”
The rest of the evening was busy as they found places for all the new supplies, ate to their heart’s content, and entertained their guests. As Sister Matthews watched Hank speaking to Emmitt and Shane, her heart was nearly full.
The only thing she needed was to see Ben again. She read the letter again, hoping beyond all hope that he truly would come back one last time.
THE END