Chapter 23 #2
“I have been weak,” he said at last. “I see that now. I did not know how to manage my feelings for you or my duties to the estate. I let fear guide me. I will not do that any longer.”
Cecily held his gaze, and he did not look away.
“What has changed?” she asked softly. You made it very clear there was nothing between us. You said it was all a mistake.”
His expression tightened. “I know what I said, and I know how it must have sounded to you. I thought I could force myself into the life I believed I was meant to lead. I thought I could silence what I felt.”
“And now?”
He continued, his voice lower. “When I was rushing toward the mine this morning and seeing all the people headed there, everything became clear. I saw women calling for their husbands and sons, and older men trying to reach their families. No one cared about rank or titles. They cared about the people they loved.”
He paused for a moment, and Cecily’s fingers tightened around her cup. She did not know what to say and was grateful when he continued.
“As I watched them, I realized that I had been hiding behind my position to excuse my own hesitation to experience that type of love,” he said, a slight tremor in his voice.
Once again, Cecily met his gaze, her own eyes brimming with tears.
“I finally clearly saw that I had been repeating the same patterns that had ruled my father’s entire life. He relied on distance, pride, and silence, and had taught me to do the same. I refuse to let those habits decide my life any longer.”
He sat up straighter, his eyes sparkling.
“I do not want to be like my father,” he said. “I want to honor my brother’s memory. I want to live differently. And I am not afraid for anyone to know that I care for you.”
He said it clearly, loud enough that the entire teahouse turned to look. Cecily felt her breath catch as her heart fluttered, and she felt a blush spread across her cheeks. She had never imagined him speaking so openly, especially here.
At the next table, Rosamund froze mid-sip, her cup hovering just short of her mouth. Her eyes widened in genuine astonishment. Weatherby, seated beside her, straightened at once. His expression shifted from polite composure to something closer to quiet approval, although he kept it restrained.
Rosamund set her cup down with care, as if any sudden movement might break the moment. She glanced at Cecily, her face softening with a mixture of surprise and hope. Weatherby leaned slightly toward her, speaking in a hushed voice meant only for her. Rosamund nodded once, her expression thoughtful.
Cecily turned her attention back to the earl. Her heart was still unsteady from the force of his declaration, but she found her voice.
“I think it is lovely that you want to honor your brother’s memory,” she said softly.
She drew in a slow breath to calm herself before speaking again, her voice quieter. “But I cannot see myself belonging in your world. I do not know how to live in it.”
He leaned forward. “Then I will leave it behind if that is what you want. We will make a world we can live in together. One that suits us both.”
Cecily stared at him, unsure how to answer. He looked determined, almost hopeful, and she felt something stir inside her, something she had tried very hard to quiet.
“You do not need to decide anything today,” he said, picking up his cup. “You may take all the time you need to consider what you want.”
She lowered her gaze for a moment, steadying herself.
He continued, his voice gentler. “But in the meantime, will you consider returning as the piano tutor? Only that. Nothing more. No expectations beyond the lessons. I would not ask for anything else until you choose it.”
Cecily looked up again, surprised by the restraint in his tone.
He went on, quieter still. “The children want you there. They are early to the music room every morning. They play the pieces you taught them, even when no one is listening. You have given them confidence, not just skill. You have given them something warm and steady in their lives, and that is something they have not felt in a long time.”
Cecily smiled, thinking of their faces.
“You have changed them,” he said. “Not only their music. You have lifted their spirits. Their days are different because of you. And I see now how much they needed that. And how much I needed it.”
Cecily wiped away a tear that slipped down her cheek.
The earl looked at her tenderly. “Please come back for them. As I said, only for them. Nothing more until you choose it. Let me earn the rest. Let me make things right.”
Cecily nodded slowly. “I will return,” she said. “For the children.”
The earl nodded gratefully.
She hesitated, then added, “May I ask something before we leave?”
“You may.”
She took a moment, choosing her words. “Lady Viola has seemed very certain of her place at the house.”
He exhaled slowly. “She arrived without my invitation. I had not expected her.”
“Yet she has behaved as though she belongs.”
“She does not,” he answered. “She came because she believed she had the right to involve herself in my affairs. I have not yet spoken with her fully, but I will. It is a matter that must be addressed directly.”
“Will she be staying long?”
He shook his head. “No. She has involved herself in the planning for the recital. It would cause unnecessary embarrassment to the children and the household if she were to leave before it is concluded.” He paused, choosing his next words with care.
“However, once the recital is finished, her visit will come to an end.”
“You are certain of that?” she asked quietly.
“Yes,” he said, simply. “Her presence will not continue beyond what propriety requires. And it will not interfere with your work or your place in the house.”
She nodded, feeling the tension ease from her shoulders.
He watched her for a moment, then asked quietly, “Are you ready to go?”
Cecily nodded. “Yes. I am ready.”
She rose from the table first, and the earl stood as well.
At the next table, Rosamund and Weatherby stood too, gathering their things without comment.
Weatherby stepped aside to let the sisters pass, and Rosamund fell in just behind Cecily as they all made their way toward the door.
They walked down the short steps to the street.
Rosamund and Weatherby came after them, the quartet moving as a small, quiet group.
By the time they reached the street, the earl’s private coach had already arrived. The matched pair of horses stood re-teamed and waiting, their coats gleaming in the afternoon light. The coachman sat ready on the box, reins in hand, and the footman stood beside the door, prepared to assist.
The earl stepped forward first, speaking quietly with the footman, who bowed his head in acknowledgment. Rosamund and Weatherby joined Cecily at her side, waiting for the earl to finish before they moved toward the coach.
The earl finally turned and nodded towards the four of them. He opened the door for Cecily, and she climbed inside.
A moment later, the four of them set off for Ravenshollow Park.