6. Grok
I pace the length of my private chambers, my thoughts as tumultuous as a mountain storm. The events of the assembly play over and over in my mind—the surprise and speculation on the faces of my warriors, the wary hope in Thane Thornwood”s eyes as he walked to freedom...and the look on Lily”s face as she watched it all unfold.
That look. It haunts me, even now. The conflict in her eyes, the warring emotions playing across her face as she struggled to reconcile the warlord she thought she knew with the leader she witnessed today. I saw the grudging respect dawning in her gaze, the flicker of something that might have been admiration...or even desire.
And it terrified me.
Not because I fear her judgment or her enmity. Those, I”ve come to expect, even welcome as the signs of a worthy adversary. No, what terrifies me is the way she makes me feel. The way my pulse quickens when her eyes meet mine, the way my skin burns at her slightest touch.
The way my heart aches at the thought of her scorn...or her loss.
I”ve never felt this way before. Never allowed myself to. Attachment, affection, desire...these are weaknesses, vulnerabilities that a warlord can ill afford. My life, my very identity, is built on strength, on the ruthless exercise of power and control. To let a prisoner, a human no less, slip past my defenses and touch something deep within me...it goes against everything I”ve ever been taught, everything I”ve ever believed.
And yet...
I can”t shake the feeling that this is more than mere infatuation, more than base lust or the thrill of the forbidden. That Lily is more than just a passing fancy, a temporary distraction from the grim realities of war and leadership.
No, this feels...deeper. More vital, more visceral. As if she”s somehow become essential to my very being, as necessary as breath or blood.
It”s a terrifying thought, one that sends me striding from my chambers and down the winding corridors of the stronghold, seeking counsel, clarity, from the one being who might understand the turmoil raging inside me.
The seer”s chamber is dark and smoky, lit only by the guttering flames of a few scattered candles. She sits cross-legged on a pile of furs, her withered face lined with age and wisdom, her milky eyes seeming to peer beyond the veil of flesh and bone to the secrets of the soul.
”Ah, Warlord,” she rasps as I duck through the low doorway, her voice like dry leaves skittering over stone. ”I wondered when you would come to me. I have seen you in my visions, seen the choice that lies before you.”
I stiffen, my hand tightening instinctively on the hilt of my sword. ”What choice?” I demand, my voice rough with trepidation. ”What have you seen, wise one?”
Her lips curve in an enigmatic smile, her clouded gaze boring into mine. ”I have seen a future, young Grok,” she murmurs, her words sliding over my skin like oil over water. ”A future where the great Bloodclaw Clan is led not by one, but two. Where ogre and human stand side by side, bound by a love that shakes the very foundations of our world.”
I stare at her, my heart pounding, my breath stoppered in my lungs. ”Lily,” I rasp, the name wrenched from somewhere deep inside me. ”You”ve seen...Lily and I? Together?”
The seer inclines her head, the gesture at once mocking and maddeningly serene. ”She is your mate, Warlord,” she says simply, the words tolling like a death knell in the close confines of the chamber. ”Your match, your mirror. The other half of your soul, destined to stand at your side through battles both bloody and bittersweet.”
I reel back as if struck, denial and desperate yearning warring in my breast. ”No,” I grate out, shaking my head sharply. ”No, that”s impossible. She”s human, my prisoner. My enemy. There can be no future for us, no...bond.”
The seer laughs, a dry, rustling sound like wind through dead leaves. ”Oh, you stubborn boy,” she chides, her tone almost fond beneath the bite of her words. ”You cannot fight fate, Grok Bloodclaw. Cannot deny the call of your blood, your bone and breath. She is yours, as you are hers...and no force in this world or any other can sunder that tie.”
She leans forward, her sightless eyes seeming to pierce me to the core. ”Close your eyes,” she commands, her voice thrumming with power, with the weight of ages. ”Open your mind, your heart...and see.”
Against my will, my lids drift shut, my breath leaving me in a shuddering rush. And then...
Then I am somewhere else, somewhen else. A blur of images, of sensations, cascading through my mind in a dizzying rush.
I see Lily, resplendent in the regalia of an ogre queen, a crown of hammered gold resting upon her brow as she stands tall and proud at my side. I see us leading our people, human and ogre alike, into a new era of peace and prosperity, our hands clasped and our hearts entwined.
I see quiet moments in the stillness of our chambers, Lily”s head pillowed on my chest as we talk softly of our hopes, our dreams. Feel the silk of her skin beneath my fingers, the satin of her hair tickling my chin.
I see passion, wild and untamed, our bodies tangled in the furs of our bed as we lose ourselves in each other again and again. Hear the hitch of her breath, the keening cry of my name on her lips as I worship her with hands and mouth and the fierce, unrelenting heat of my love.
And I see...I see a child. A babe with Lily”s eyes and my coloring, cradled in her mother”s arms as I look on in wonder and unbearable tenderness. The living proof of our bond, our belonging...and the bright, shining future we will build together.
With a gasp, I wrench myself free of the vision, my eyes flying open to the dim, smoky reality of the seer”s chamber. She watches me with a knowing smile, her head cocked slightly to one side.
”You see now,” she says, not a question but a statement of fact. ”You understand what lies ahead, what destiny has written in the stars for you and your Red Blade.”
I shake my head, trying to clear the clinging cobwebs of the future from my mind, my heart. ”It”s not possible,” I rasp, my voice thick and strangled. ”It goes against everything I”ve ever known, ever been taught. My people will never accept it, accept her...”
”They will,” the seer says firmly, no hint of doubt in her tone. ”They will follow where you lead, Grok Bloodclaw. Where your heart guides you. Because they know, as I do, that you were born for this. Born to be the bridge between our kinds, to forge a new path from the ashes of the old.”
She leans back, her expression going distant and dreamy. ”It will not be easy,” she murmurs, almost to herself. ”There will be trials, tribulations...those who seek to thwart you at every turn. But if you hold fast to each other, to the love that binds you...you will weather every storm. And in the end, you will emerge stronger, surer...the rulers of a new world, a new way.”
I stare at her, my mind awhirl, my pulse a deafening drum in my ears. Could it be true? Could Lily truly be my...my mate? My destiny, entwined with hers in a bond that transcends blood and bone, war and peace?
The seer sees the doubt, the desperation, in my eyes, and her smile gentles, grows almost maternal. ”Trust your heart, Warlord,” she says softly, reaching out to lay a gnarled hand over mine where it rests on my knee. ”Trust the whispers of your soul, and the longing in your loins. She is yours, Grok. Yours to cherish, to claim...and to fight for, with every breath in your body.”
I close my eyes, letting her words wash over me, through me. Feeling the truth of them settle into my marrow, my core, like a key turning in a lock I never knew existed.
”Thank you, wise one,” I murmur, my voice hoarse with emotion. ”For your counsel, your clarity. I...I know what I must do now. What I must become, for her. For us.”
The seer inclines her head, a final benediction. ”Go then, Grok Bloodclaw,” she says, a glint of something ancient and approving in her milky gaze. ”Go, and claim your destiny...and the female who holds your heart in her hands.”
I rise to my feet, my spine straight, my shoulders squared. I feel different, changed, as if the seer”s words, her vision, have lit a fire inside me, burning away the doubts, the denials, to reveal the gleaming truth beneath.
Lily is mine. My mate, my mirror...the bright, blazing beacon guiding me home. And I will move mountains, shatter stars, to make her see it. To win her heart, her trust...and the future that stretches out before us, limitless and luminous with promise.
With a final, grateful nod to the seer, I turn and stride from the chamber, my steps purposeful, determined. I have much to do, much to prove...but for the first time in longer than I can remember, my path is clear. My purpose, crystalline and unshakable.
I will make Lily mine. I will claim her, body and soul and the battered, aching shards of my own heart. I will show her the depth of my devotion, the breadth of my belief...and together, we will forge a bond that will shake the very foundations of our world.
A bond of equals, of partners...and of a love that will endure, unassailable, across every border, every boundary.
Across time, across tide...and whatever challenges may come.
As I make my way back to my chambers, my mind is awhirl with plans, with possibilities. But beneath it all, simmering like a sleeper, banked fire...is a hunger. A need, visceral and vital as the blood in my veins, the breath in my lungs.
A need for her. For Lily, my Red Blade...my queen.
Alone in the privacy of my rooms, I strip off my armor with quick, impatient movements, my breath coming faster, my heart thundering against my ribs. I can still feel the ghost of her in my arms, the phantom press of her lips against mine from our stolen moment before duty intruded.
Gods, the taste of her, the scent of her...it lingers on my tongue, in my nostrils, an ambrosia headier than any wine or battle-draught. I want to drown myself in her, to lose myself in her softness, her strength, until there is no part of me that isn”t branded by her touch, her presence.
With a groan, I fall back onto my bed, one hand already fisting my aching length, the other fisting in the furs as I conjure her in my mind”s eye. Lily, hair unbound and eyes heavy-lidded with want, with need. Lily, skin flushed and damp with passion, arching beneath me as I worship her with hands and mouth and the reverent press of my body into hers.
I imagine sinking into her slick heat, feeling her muscles flutter and clench around me as I move within her. Picture her face as she shatters apart in my arms, my name a broken prayer on her kiss-bruised lips.
With a choked cry, I spend myself over my fist, my release jetting hot and hard across my abdomen, my chest. For a moment I simply lie there, gasping, shuddering through the aftershocks as the vision of my mate, my love, dances behind my closed lids.
And then, slowly, I sit up, a steely resolve settling over me like a second skin. No more doubts, no more denials. No more letting duty, or dread, keep me from what I want.
What I need.
Lily will be mine. I will court her, woo her, win her...with every weapon in my arsenal. With patience and persistence, with tenderness and the unbridled force of my desire, my devotion.
I will make her see what burns between us. Make her feel the bond, bright and unbreakable, that binds us together across every divide, every difference.
I will make her mine...and in doing so, make myself hers. Irrevocably, eternally.
The Red Blade of the Ogre Warlord...and he, the heart that beats for her, and her alone.
Forever. I vow it, to the stars and the ancestors and whatever fates have brought us here, to this tipping point between disaster and destiny.
Forever...and whatever may come.
With a wolfish smile curving my lips, I rise from the bed to clean myself up and don fresh clothing. There is much to do, and I will need my rest, my wits about me.
Because tomorrow...tomorrow, the true battle begins.
The battle for Lily”s heart...and the future that will be born from the love, the belonging, blazing between us.
I can hardly wait.