14
Dean
July 2018
T his was the moment that Dean had been both dreading and looking forward to for the past five years: the day the date of his marriage to Ella would be set.
Part of him was dreading it because, once the date of the wedding was placed, he knew that he would have to have a reality check with Quinn. He also knew that Ella would not be happy; she would try and find more ways to get out of it, and while he didn’t blame her, he wished she would just get over it. He knew telling her the whole truth was out of the question: if anything, telling her would push her away from this more than ever. There was no way he would risk his father, their company, or his own financial security just so Ella could most likely get married to this Matthew Davenport orphan boy.
He knew all about their sordid little affair and he wanted more than anything to dangle it in front of her, but he wouldn’t. He stared at her and knew he made her happy. Part of him liked that she had happiness. If he said anything, it would be dangerous for Matthew.
Let alone that keeping quiet was safer for himself, for his father, and the company.
Not to mention the safety of Adrian and Martha’s lives.
If he let the cat out of the bag about Ella and Matthew, then everything would blow up. Anthony would have Adrian done for extortion and Adrian would tell the police about Amelia’s… shameful, criminal past.
He couldn’t say a word, he hated knowing that he was the son of such a thing . But Dean knew he had to deal with the hand that was given to him.
Either they would all go to prison, or they would kill each other. He recalled his dad on multiple occasions telling him how they eradicate problems if they arose. He assumed Ella’s filthy secret would be one of those things. Either outcome was a problem. If all of that came out, well, the company would end. No one would want to deal with a man who had been blackmailed and they certainly wouldn’t want to deal with a company run by a family that had a… paedophile in it.
Well, he didn’t know for sure whether his mother was technically a paedophile, but having an affair with a teenage pupil was the same thing in Dean’s book. The mere thought made him shiver with disgust every time, but he, yet again, had to deal with the hand that was given to him.
As soon as Ella found out about it, the wedding would certainly be out of the question. While that would mean for her, and in turn Matthew, they would be free, Dean knew he would lose everything. His job, his company, his money, everything.
It was certainly in his best interests to keep silent on the matter. At least until she walked up the aisle and became Ella Atkins.
He looked across the table as she fiddled with a ring on her hand. Dean knew it was new; he’d never noticed a blue ring on her hand before. He knew why she had a problem with the date; because as soon as there was a timestamp, she would have to panic about this Matthew.
He had the same issue with Quinn.
“The date is fine by me. How about you, Ells?” Dean knew the name would annoy her. It had struck a nerve at her graduation. He wondered if she was getting the hint. He’d heard from his informants that Matthew was calling her that on the cruise Dean had given her tickets to. His colleagues picked up much more than Dean had asked of them too – from the fact they were constantly joined at the hip while the brother often spent time on his own, to the fact only Matthew called her Ells or Ells Bells, and they even found out that while she checked out three rooms, only two rooms were being used throughout the entire holiday.
She was careless, left trails in her wake, and there was no way she didn’t know that Dean knew. The necklace around her neck was obvious, and well, the ring that appeared on her hand today was also obvious.
“Do not call me that,” Ella snapped at him. He blanched at her; she was rumbled. He chanced another glance at her cleavage – she had always known his parents were conservative creatures who didn’t like skin on show. After what happened, they believed modesty was key. Ella was making a statement, and everyone knew it.
“I apologise. Ella, is that okay with you?” Dean could sense the annoyance dripping from her like thick gravy on a Sunday roast. It suited her, Dean thought. When they did get married, he knew there would be no controlling her the way his dad did with his wife. To be fair, Dean didn’t blame his dad for the way he treated her. After what she did, Dean was surprised he hadn’t pulled the trigger on her. She was a problem as his dad would call it, ‘and you know what we do to problems, Dean, we eradicate them’ would be what he’d say.
He supposed she was his mother, though, and Anthony’s wife. Dean wouldn’t imagine a woman he’d been married to for a long time would be an easy target.
Dean knew Ella was a force to be reckoned with. It would be all smiles for the parents, yet another thing behind closed doors. If he was being honest with himself, he was looking forward to it. Dean knew being married to Ella would be an experience he’d enjoy. They would be expected to have children, and that would mean being closer to her than they had ever been. She may have denied him being her first kiss, but he would finally be able to be close to her as husband and wife.
He knew she would have already gone back on the ‘remain a virgin’ part of their contract. But what their parents didn’t know would not hurt them, Dean figured. He knew what it was like to be in the throes of love and lust, and he wouldn’t deny Ella that.
“The date is fine by me,” Ella finally answered. Dean caught her eye, and they watched each other for a moment. He tried to give her a look that conveyed how urgent this moment was for them both.
He looked again at that blue ring on her finger. It was obviously from Matthew – Dean wasn’t thick. He needed to stamp out the problem before it came to a head. He knew if his father found out about this boy, there would be guns or knives or hired ‘help’ to solve the issue. Dean knew that wasn’t fair on Ella.
He had always wondered how this whole contract could be legit. Marriage would mean dealing with emotions, which people could not control. No one could control who they fell for. He knew Ella would attract men: how could anyone not want her? He knew he was lucky – the awful things that had led him to the point he was at, he was sort of thankful for. It meant he got to marry one of the most attractive—
He stopped short. Quinn. He was in undeniable and unconditional love with Quinn. Her silky red hair, the piercing green eyes, the way she looked at him.
He internally groaned. He wasn’t in love with Quinn at all – he was trying to kid himself. She was merely a physical release, an emotional stopgap because he couldn’t have Ella. It was about time he was honest with himself.
“Great! That means we have exactly two months to plan this wedding!” Martha clapped. The motion had interrupted Dean’s train of thought and the uncomfortable twitch finally eased.
For a quick second, he wondered whether Ella had considered having an open marriage…
No, that would just be ridiculous. Those things got messy; Dean knew. He had read enough stupid articles during those ridiculous board meetings at work to know things like that ended in heartbreak for everyone involved.
∞∞∞
Dean watched with a sad, regretful look as Ella marched down the road. She only saw him as a sibling and never anything more.
The thought made him sick; they had been friends for so long – well until they found out they were fated to be married. He’d played with her as kids, he had brought her alcohol when she was too young, they bonded over stupid films at the cinema, and now she slammed it all back in his face. How could she see him like that? How could she not know how he felt, and after she found out – surely instead of pushing him away, she should have been learning how to accept this?
He didn’t understand how she could feel that way, but he respected it. If that was how Ella felt, then there would be no hope for their marriage working in terms of love and certainly for producing children. For their parents' sake, he tried to make her understand there would have to be a level of ‘show’ to their marriage, but he could do nothing more than agree to never touch her romantically.
That was fine because he had Quinn to fall back on.
But it would only be okay for so long. Ella would find out eventually, there was never going to be a way she wouldn’t. He could let the fa?ade go on; ignore her orphan boyfriend, he could carry on with Quinn. But to what extent? Dean couldn’t blame her; love was the most powerful emotion there was, even he knew that. But if she found out the truth about why the contract was made, she would easily walk away and not care about who it hurt. Again, Dean wouldn’t blame her for that either.
Everything would come out eventually: his mother’s crime, her father’s blackmailing, his sister Joanna’s death, Quinn, Matthew… it would all come out. It would all start slowly, things becoming more obvious, before coming to a head and bursting like a shaken bottle of lemonade.
He wanted to walk away; he wanted his mother to rot in jail for what she did. He didn’t really care about Adrian’s extortion because in that position who wouldn’t try to dangle it like a carrot. But he wanted justice for his sister, and he wanted justice for the poor boy his mother manipulated and abused. When they told him, he remembered his mother trying to justify it by telling him that ‘the boy loved her’ and she ‘couldn’t say no ’ and ‘your father wasn’t giving me what I needed so how could I deny love.’ Dean remembered his father not batting an eyelid at her and Dean couldn’t work out why. But it was clear over the years that they didn’t love each other anymore, and Dean wondered if it was because of what she did.
But the thing that pulled Dean into wanting to protect the contract was the company: if the truth got out, the family reputation would be down the drain, and although Dean was nothing but innocent, it would be him who would take the reins when the board ousted his father. They respected and liked Dean. But not even the board could persuade the clients that Dean wasn’t tainted by all of this. The company would take a nosedive eventually and he would be left with nothing but the suit on his back and no way to clamber his way back to the top.
Money was materialistic, Dean knew that, but the fact was that it made his world turn. He didn’t have a lot of happiness in the world; everything in his life was entangled in the company and Ella. If Ella didn’t love him, then he had the company to fall back on. If he didn’t have either of those, then he had nothing.
He supposed he would have Quinn, but they needed money to be together.
Dean knew he was fucked whatever happened. If he had money, he didn’t have Quinn. If he had Quinn, he had no money. There was no conceivable way to have both, and he knew it as soon as they told him the truth on that fateful day.
So, Dean resigned to try and make the most of the thing that mattered to him most.
Money.