27
Ella
September 2018
T he two words are simple but hold so much weight. Before now, I’d never thought about how words can shake a person up. For the past two weeks, we have been in a bubble of looking for somewhere to live when we’re safer, preparing for our wedding, all while knowing that our little bubble could pop at any moment.
I know.
Matt gives the phone back to me. I don’t know what Dean expects. A message back? A phone call? Nothing at all?
“Just leave it, Ells Bells. If he knows, he knows. He’s slower than I thought he would be. If he finds us, then he finds us. We knew all along this could happen. We have to stand our ground.”
“What if he tells my parents, or his?” I panic.
“Then he does. But if I’m being honest, I don’t think he will. I don’t know him personally, but my bets are on the idea that he will find you himself first and try to bring you back willingly before even mentioning it to other people,” Matt says.
I throw the phone on the bed in frustration and start sorting out the washing lying on the bed.
“When was it sent?” I question, surprised I haven’t even considered that part yet. Matt looks at the phone.
“Yesterday morning. Today, however, is September twentieth; your supposed wedding day!” he cheerily points out. I grumble and then realise something.
“Oh, shit,” I realise, grabbing my phone to double-check.
“Everything okay, Ells Bells?”
“I, uh, Matty, I need to go… to the, uh, pharmacy ,” I mutter.
“Okay, I’ll drive you,” he says immediately. If he gets my drift, then he doesn’t mention it. “Is everything okay?”
I don’t answer as we get into the car. I know he knows, though.
∞∞∞
“Ells?” He calls through the bathroom door as I pace up and down. “Hate to alarm you, but you’ve been ages and I’m out here getting worried you’ve chopped off a limb or something.”
I open the door slowly. He peeks around and walks in when he sees no sight of blood or cut-off body parts.
“What’s going on?” he asks. I point to the pregnancy test sitting on the side. “Oh.”
“I can’t bring myself to look,” I panic. “I’m late, Matty. That never happens. I didn’t think about it with running off and I always have the same cycle, and I—” I stop speaking, knowing I’m rambling, and he has no idea about the woman’s reproductive system beyond using it to his advantage.
He gestures to it, and I nod. I watch him pick it up and read the thing. Part of me expects him to faint, or to laugh, but he stays poker-faced.
The thump, thump, thump of anticipation rushes through my veins.
“What are we hoping for here, because I don’t know how to react, and if I’m honest—”
“What does it say?” I demand.
He beams at me. I don’t know whether that’s good or bad.
“Come here!” He grabs me into an embrace so tight that the air in my lungs starts running out. He tips me down so my hair whips my cheeks from its ponytail.
“Matty!” I squeal, the gesture melting the stress instantly. He brings me back up and his lips claim mine; he tastes like strawberry, yet again because he’s forever stealing my lip balm. It’s like kissing a strawberry cloud. The blood starts pumping back around my body as he lifts me, carrying me into the bedroom.
He puts me on the bed, and I find myself giggling at the soft thump. He lies beside me, the stick still in his hand.
“Give me the damn answer!” I smirk. Whatever it says, I know it won’t matter because the answer has made him happy.
“See for yourself.” He smiles, finally showing me the stick of fate. Pregnant .
“Oh, wow,” I stammer as my eyes widen.
“You know that night before we ran away when I properly proposed? Yeah, that’d be the consequence of that,” he jokes, and I playfully hit him. “What? As if I was going to ruin the moment by fumbling about!”
“You, er, seem happy about it.” I arch an eyebrow.
“Ells Bells, when we first met, I knew whoever ‘Ella Webb x’ was, as you put in my phone, was the one for me. I realised it as I was smiling to myself all those years ago when I saw bluebell bulbs and thought of you, when I was smiling like an idiot when your name popped up on my notifications. I could think of nothing better than spending the rest of my life with you and starting a family of blonde, curly-haired kids.”
“So, does that mean—”
“That I’m happy about it? Yes, it does,” he answers. “How do you feel about it? ‘Cause if you’re not ready for this, we can explore…” He stops speaking.
“You know what? I don’t think we need to explore anything other than moving into a two-bedroom place,” I joke. He raises his eyebrows at me in question. “One bedroom for us, one for baby Davenport.”
He chuckles, lacing his fingers with mine. “Well, I guess that’s it then, isn’t it? Just to ruin the mood, I’ll put this out there: if they do find us, we can tell them they’re going to be grandparents and well, they wouldn’t want to break up their grandchildren’s parents now, would they?”
My eyes widen at that. “If Dean finds us, there is no way he’d want to split up a child’s family before it’s even born. This is it, Matty.”
He chuckles. “That’s what I’m saying, you idiot. You’re free, Ells. We are free.”
“It’s meant to be my wedding day!” I realise with a huff.
“Yeah, but it’s not, is it? Instead, we are together, and we’ve just found out we’re having a family. So instead of being the worst day of your life, it’s now the best!” Matty grins, kissing the back of my hand.
“You know, you’ve always been optimistic. I like that.”
He chuckles. “Well, that’s good because you’re now stuck with me forever, in more ways than one.”
“Ugh, maybe I should run away—”
He cuts me off by grabbing a pillow and tapping it over my face. I pretend to be offended and throw it at him.
“You wouldn’t even if you could, Ells Bells. You love me too much,” he teases.
“I suppose you have a point. A small point, but a point.” I wink at him.
∞∞∞
‘Ella, I know your secret. And I know you must be seeing these messages. I haven’t told either of our parents anything and I won’t if you talk to me. I promise I won't force you back with me. Please.’
‘Ella, please. I just want to talk.’
‘If you don’t respond to me, I will track you down, Ella. All I want is to talk to you. No police involvement, no parental involvement. Just you and me.’
“No police involvement?” Matt questions.
“I assume the police still think I’m missing or whatever. They just haven’t investigated. I don’t know,” I say.
“Maybe you should… talk to him?” Matt suggests.
I baulk. “Are you… are you insane? After everything we’ve been through and after everything we’ve done to run away and hide from them, you suggest that I talk to him and tell him where I am?”
He shrugs, acknowledging my logic. “But also… if you talk to him, he’s said it would just be you and him. No parents involved, and he’s promised he won’t force you to go back. Now, I’m not saying I trust the guy, but I’d be with you even from a distance. Maybe a talk is what you both need; tell him you’re committed elsewhere now and there’s nothing he can do to change it. It might be what he needs as well. I know what he did to you, Ells, but he might be on our side if you tell him the truth. Well, that’s assuming the secret is about me, which I’m guessing it is.”
I look away, thinking about it. Aside from overstepping boundaries, Dean’s always been the one to acknowledge that this isn’t really what either of us wanted. His heart belongs with Quinn – or so I’ve assumed – and he must have known that eventually, my heart would belong somewhere else. I’ve always been on the fence about opening up to him about Matt, but the discussion we had at the restaurant weeks ago put a stop to that. Now he’s saying he knows my secret, which I also assume is about Matt. I don’t know what other secrets there could be. Maybe Matt’s right: if I talk to him, it might help us. If I play into his hands, it may work to our advantage. But if it goes wrong, well, I could go back to being without Matt.
This time, though, there’s more than just wanting to be with someone else. I now have the added bargaining chip of a baby on the way.
“What’re you thinking, Ells?” Matt asks.
“I, uh, I don’t know.”
“To be honest, we have nothing to lose, but everything to gain.”
“What if he does tell my parents, though? What if they find us? My dad, or even Anthony, I wouldn’t put it past them to take drastic measures if they find out what we’ve done—”
“Like what? Cut you off from your money? I have some stashed away. You could get a job – once the baby is born and older. I can get a better-paid job.”
I roll my eyes. “They’re powerful, and I’ve been so caught up in running away and getting married, and now a baby… I haven’t stopped to think about what could happen if they find us. What if they kill you?”
He smirks. “Ells. I mean, they run a damn catering company—”
“There’s more than just supplying food to this, Matty, we both know that. I don’t know why, but they have always been so determined and shady over this. Dean acknowledged me when I told him there’s more to this than money. They just ooze powerful and murderous if this goes sour. It worries me. I might not know what, but there’s so much more to this—”
I’m interrupted by the doorbell going off.
“Who the shit?” Matt mutters and gets up to answer it. I sit down on the sofa, a wave of nausea crashing into me like a tsunami of hormones and nerves.
“What the hell – get out of here!”
“I know she’s here! Ella!” another voice rumbles through the house.
Oh, shit.
There is no way he could know where we are.
The lounge door slams open and Dean storms in like Hades, risen from the underworld. His fists furl, his eyes pure fire. Everything around him turns sour and wilts, killing off any happiness there was two seconds before his arrival.
“I said—”
“And I have come here to see Ella, you piece of shit!” Dean bellows.
“Dean, what the fuck?”
“If you two want me to keep this quiet, you will both shut up and listen to me,” Dean roars. “We are all going to sit down and talk.”
I watch Matt retreat and close the front door. Bailey immediately jumps up beside me on the sofa as if to provide a barrier between Dean and me as his anger dissipates.
The tension as Matt walks back into the room rises like a heatwave.
The room starts spinning again, the thump, thump, thump in my heart gets heavier. The breathing of Bailey is just about enough to keep me grounded.
I see something in his eyes change from the fiery rage to a sort of relief. At the same time, I feel everything good around me start crashing down; the cloud Matty and I were on with fleeing, the date of our wedding, the pregnancy… everything good pops like bubbles. I had blown the bubbles up, watched them each form and be perfect, floating away in our perfect little world in Nick’s house and then Dean crashed in, popping them from under us as if they never existed.
Even bubbles leave residue behind, and I know the residue of this is going to stain the carpet beneath us all.
Actions have consequences, after all, and this is my consequence.
“Happy wedding day, Ella,” Dean says.