Chapter 14
Sana gazed up at Rhyel's empty balcony, hoping to get a glimpse of him as she did every morning for the past week.
But he was never there and it only fueled her guilt that he was sent on some random quest because of her. She'd never forgive herself if she caused Darcanos to lose its leader and Alpha.
Lord Rhyel will be back, Sana. Don't worry. The quest takes time.
Sana sighed as Sune fluttered to her shoulder. "But what if something bad happened? It'll be my fault if he gets hurt or killed on this quest."
Sune's deep rumble of laughter echoed in her mind as he pressed his tiny head against her neck.
That won't happen. The quest isn't a physical journey. The Alpha is safe. No harm will come to him, I promise.
"Well, then I hope he doesn't resent me for it when he returns," she said, taking a drink from her steaming cup of bitter berry tea as she watched the fog drift through the tops of the black leafed trees. "I wouldn't want that either."
Resenting you will be the last thing on Rhyel's mind when he returns, but you may find that the Alpha might fall in love with you.
Sana choked on her tea. "Fall in love...
with me?" she said, wiping her mouth. "No.
You must know that the Alpha wolves of Darcanos have mates and Rhyel's father cursed his bloodline.
He'll never have a mate and he'll never find love.
That's what I've read. So, he'll never be in love with me and I.
..I could never hope for something like that either. "
And why not, little flame?
"Because hoping for someone to love me is asking for too much," she said, shaking her head. "I've already been blessed with enough as it is."
Mm, if you say so, my dear.
"Good morning, Lady Sana and Sune," Kezi said as she poked her head out of the double doors of the balcony. "Your bath is ready for you."
"Thank you, Kezi," Sana said as she shuffled into her room and eyed the black leathers lying on her bed. "Am I not to wear the dresses Loic had made for me today?"
"Oh no," Eula said, smiling as she opened her curtains. "We've been told you'll be starting your warrior training today. You'll be learning how to ride with General Zena and First Officer Oziel."
Sana's heart thumped as she trailed her fingers over the thick leathers. She'd been dreading this the moment Zena told her she'd become General one day. She was barely getting used to walking in heels and now she was going to learn how to fight. "I'm not sure I'm ready for this."
"Nonsense, my Lady. You'll be fine," Kezi said, helping her out of her robe. "It's your first day with the warriors. No one will expect you to get things right on your first try. We all know this life is very different from what you're used to."
Sana took a deep breath and nodded. "I know. All I need to do is try."
"That's the spirit, my Lady," Eula said, adding another log to the fireplace. "That's all we can expect of you and I'm sure my Lord will be proud of you when he returns."
"Thank you," Sana said as she shuffled into the bathroom and closed the door. "Do you think I can do this, Sune?"
Become the General?
"Yes," she said, slipping out of her night shift and stepping into the steaming bath.
Of course I do. I think you can do anything you set your mind to.
"But I'm not strong like Zena," she said, lifting her arms from the soapy water. "I'm scrawny. I don't have any muscles, and I doubt I'll be able to lift a sword."
All of that will come with time. Have some faith in yourself. You are more powerful than you think.
"I'm glad you believe in me because I'm not sure I can do any of this," she said, leaning back against the tub and staring at the ceiling as tears pricked the corners of her eyes.
"But I don't want to disappoint anyone. Zena, Loic and my maids have such faith in me and I just..
.I just don't see it. I still feel like a servant dressing up as a noble. "
Sana...you have to give yourself time to believe in yourself, but I promise you, the more you do these things, the more you will see yourself as worthy.
Wiping a tear that rolled down her cheek. Sana let out a deep breath. "Thank you, Sune. I'm glad I have you."
And I'm glad to have you as well, little flame.
Sana's body was in utter pain.
Her arms hurt from learning how to properly hold and swing a wooden sword and her fingers hurt from failing to shoot any sort of target with a bow and arrow.
She cringed and winced as she limped behind Oziel and Zena to the stables while she held onto the reins of her beautiful black stallion.
Kral was a lovely, gentle equestrian, but she had never ridden anything in her life and she was not cut out to be a warrior or a soldier.
She'd never be ready to take Zena's place. ..ever.
"My Lady, you look like you had a good day." Hallen, the stable keeper and Oziel's right hand, chuckled as he took the reins from her. "I promise it gets easier."
"Are you sure?" she said, leaning against the side of Kral's pen. She liked Hallen. He wasn't gifted like her and made quite a name for himself amongst the other warriors. "I'm not sure I can handle that again, and I didn't do nearly as much as anyone else."
"Hallen is lying to you, my Lady," Oziel said, slapping a hand on his friend's shoulder. "It doesn't get easier. You just get stronger."
"It's true. We all started right where you are," Kiana, another ungifted warrior, said as she led a few more horses into the stable. "You did really well today."
"Thank you, but you're all being too kind to me," Sana said, shaking her head. "I think it'll take a long while before I'm ready to be your General."
"It'll take as long as it takes," Zena said, leaning on the pen beside her. "But right now, you need a good meal, a long soak in the bath and a good sleep before we do it all again tomorrow."
Sana hung her head and sighed. "I think I prefer Loic's lessons over this."
A rumble of laughter left Oziel's lips. "Aw, don't say that. You'll give Loic a big head," he said, sliding a hand to Sana's shoulder. "I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but you've got a warrior's spirit, my Lady. You did better today than I thought you would."
"Thank you, but I'm far from being the General you're all hoping for."
Oziel shook his head. "Don't worry about that," he said as a smile tugged at his lips and pride glinted in his blue eyes. "I'm just happy you didn't give up on your first day. That's all that matters."
"Exactly," Zena said, slipping her arm around Sana's shoulders. "Come on, let's get you inside and out of those leathers."
"Rest well, my Lady," Hallen said, giving her a bow. "Kral and I look forward to seeing you tomorrow."
"You as well," Sana said, patting the neck of her horse. "Thank you for being patient with me, Kral."
Sana held onto Zena's arm as they ambled up the winding stone steps to the castle.
She didn't think about how many stairs there were from the castle down to the training grounds at the base of the forest this morning, but heavens.
Her thighs were shaking and screaming at her as she carefully took each step.
Zena chuckled, rubbing her arm as they ascended the steps. "I remember my first training session and this torturous walk back to the castle."
"You felt like this too?" Sana said, wincing as they started up another flight of stairs.
"Oh, yes." Zena nodded. "I was just as scrawny and uncoordinated as you when I joined the military."
"Really?" Sana said with her eyes wide. "What made you join?"
"Besides my father being Lord Vito's first officer, I wanted to be a warrior like Lady Aloysia." Zena smiled. "She was my idol growing up."
"She must've been amazing."
"She was. She never gave up on anyone who chose to serve as a warrior of Darcanos and when Rhyel appointed me as his Beta and General, I vowed to be just like her," Zena said as she pushed open the gate to the courtyard at the top of the steps.
"So, I'm not going to give up on you either.
One day, you'll be eager to take my place as General. "
Sana laughed. "Again, I think you all have too much faith in me. Commanding the military beside Rhyel seems like a massive feat."
"It is and it's not easy, but you didn't give up today," Zena said, wrapping her arm around her shoulders. "And that says a lot about you, my Lady."
"Thank you," Sana said as they strolled under the twinkling lights weaved into the vined arches above their heads. "Can I...ask you something?"
"Of course. What's on your mind?"
"I know you're married to Captain Cori, but was there ever a time you were meant to be Lady of Darcanos?"
"You mean was there ever a chance that Rhyel and I were true mates before his father cursed his blood?"
Sana nodded. "Yes. It's just that you two are very close. I just wondered if...if there was more to your relationship in the past." She bit her lip and shook her head. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't ask such things."
"I don't mind that you asked and no, there was nothing more to our relationship.
Rhyel and I are like siblings. We're the only children of our parents and we grew up together since our fathers were such good friends.
We have never felt anything more for each other than being kin," she said as a smile graced her lips.
"But now I'm curious why you asked. Are you worried his heart is taken by another? "
A blush scorched Sana's cheeks. "No. It's... it's nothing like that. I was just curious why you're not the Lady of Darcanos."
"I suppose I could've been." Zena shrugged. "But I fell in love with Cori and a marriage to me wouldn't have gotten the north a renewed alliance with the south."
"That's true. Oziel mentioned that Lord Dante was the one who convinced my brother to make this arrangement with you."
"Mm-hm," Zena said as they ascended the back stairwell to their rooms. "Lord Dante was very adamant that a marriage between you and Lord Rhyel would be advantageous for the north. I was also swayed by him being Rhyel's uncle, so I agreed."
Sana smiled. "Lord Dante was always kind to me when he would visit my father. It makes me feel better knowing it was him who organized my marriage and not my brother or father," she said, rubbing a hand over her arm. "I thought they sent me here to die."
Zena turned to Sana and grasped her shoulders with her eyes full of sorrow. "I'm so sorry for however you were treated in your home, but you're safe here and if you ever want to talk about it, know that I'm here for you."
"Thank you, but no..." Sana said, looking down at the floor. "I don't want to talk about that."
"Okay, but my offer is always there," Zena said, hugging her. "You're part of this pack now and that means we're family."
"I...I appreciate that."
Family. Sana didn't know what it meant to be a family. She spent more time being a servant to her family than ever being treated like she was one of them.
But in this House, it seemed as if everyone was treated like they were family. Like they belonged. From the maids to the officers and everyone in between. They treated each other with kindness and respect.
She hadn't been into the city yet, but she imagined they felt the same. The north wasn't a nation full of barbarians like all the rumors her sisters spread. They were wholesome people and it made her want to try harder, train more and learn all she could to be the Lady House Darcanos deserved.
And you will, little flame. You will.
A/N:I really love Sune and Sana's relationship ?? I also love that everyone is accepting of Sana and that Zena is very honest with her about her relationship with Rhyel.
I can't wait for Rhyel to come home. I'm very curious how his time away and this quest is going to change their dynamic with each other.
Assuming Rhyel isn't stuck in the future with his true mate. ...????