Chapter 36
The scents and sounds of the north were different as a dragon.
Rhyel could sense the creatures lurking in the dark below him, see the glow of their auras through the trees, and feel the energy of the moon and the stars against his wings and scales.
But being a dragon and being merged with Kal meant he could also feel the weight of his memories at the edge of his mind. The soul of a wolf only lived one life, but a dragon's soul lived many lives. It was a constant rebirth with one purpose and one goal to protect the lives of the phoenix.
Rhyel heaved a sigh, spouting a small flame from his nostrils as he landed on the peak of a snowy mountain.
Kal, we need to talk.
What's wrong? You're doing well tonight, brother.
I know, but I'm struggling with all these memories.
Rhyel closed his eyes, shedding his full dragon form as he sat on the edge of the peak, staring at his clawed hands. "I'm comfortable being a dragon and I'm getting used to this new power, but there's still something I don't understand about this."
What is it, brother?
Rhyel wrapped his hands around his knees as his spiked tail curled around his feet. "You guarded an Erius phoenix like Sana before, but you left her unprotected when she married into another phoenix coven and she died without her bond to you. Why did you trust another dragon to protect her?"
Because that's the way of the dragons. I had to leave Ragna when she did that. I didn't want to, but she wasn't my true mate and I had no claim or right to carry on being her guardian. The Pasea dragons protecting her husband's coven took over.
Rhyel shook his head as tears pricked the corners of his eyes.
"She suffered without you. I know she loved the man she married.
I can see that, but from what I've learned from our memories, once a bond between an Erius and her dragon is made it can't and shouldn't be broken or they succumb to the burning of the wraiths or in Ragna's case, she was taken and used by the basdringas. How...how could you let that happen?"
I will always regret it and it is why I laid dormant for so long in the Barshaa bloodline. You are the first soul I've truly awakened in and I know now it's because Sana is an Erius and quite possibly the last of any phoenix kind.
Rhyel nodded, wiping the tear that rolled down his cheek. "I won't let that happen to Sana."
You don't have to. You are lucky our uncle made sure that she is our betrothed. We will always be her guardian.
Rhyel slid a hand over his heart. "But we will never be her mate, right? We will never have the right to claim her."
As I've said before, that remains to be seen. A phoenix, especially an Erius, calls to their mate when they are in great need or want of someone who matches their soul, but just because we are Sana's guardian doesn't mean her soul will call to us.
"Like Ragna," Rhyel said through gritted teeth. "She called someone else and it was her demise."
No.
Kal chuckled softly.
Ragna fell in love. That wasn't her mate.
She never had one. It could be the same for Sana.
She may not call anyone to her and she may never grow into the phoenix that she is.
So, it's best that we carry on as we are.
Sana is learning to trust us, and I'm sure you can sense that she has some budding feelings for us, too.
Rhyel's cheeks burned as he nodded.
Ever since he started merging his mind with Kal, his senses have heightened and during his lessons with Sana he'd felt her desire for him. It was gentle and fleeting, but he could feel it when she gazed at him or when they danced across the ballroom.
"Yes, I can feel it and I... I don't want her to lose those feelings she has for me."
Neither do I. I can't feel what you both do, but I like the way our Sana looks at us now.
Rhys murmured like a faint whisper in the back of Rhyel's mind, which was a side effect of merging with his dragon. His wolf was still very much a main part of him, but his voice and his feelings were subdued now.
"So do I, brother." Rhyel looked up at the stars twinkling in the sky and the moon starting its slow descent behind the horizon. A smile spread across his lips as he spread his wings. "And I think it's time I fly back to see her."
And maybe it's time for you to tell her the dragon in her dreams is you. You're going to have to tell her one day.
Kal grumbled.
"I will. I promise, but not yet," Rhyel said as he flew from his perch and down the jagged mountain side back to the castle.
He hovered outside Sana's window as he did every night for the past week to make sure she slept soundly before flying up to his balcony. He shed his half dragon form as he walked through the doors on his way to the bathroom to shower before getting a few hours of sleep.
Rhyel sighed as he curled up on his couch and closed his eyes to find Sana waiting for him as Kal on the sun-filled cliff in their shared dream.
He didn't like hiding his dragon from Sana, and he planned to tell her when the time was right. When he felt confident in his newly awakened powers. That's when he'd reveal himself as the dragon from her dreams.
For now, he'd keep getting to know her like this. He knew it was wrong, but he couldn't help it. He loved the way she curled up beside him and spoke of things she hadn't dared to tell him in her waking life yet.
It used to bother him that she could speak so freely to Kal in her dreams. He was jealous of their closeness, but ever since he started merging his mind more closely with the dragon side of himself, he realized this was how the bond between a dragon and a phoenix began.
It also allowed him to encourage Sana to be more open with him when she was awake.
Rhyel nuzzled his snout against her hair as she spoke of her childhood and her life before she came to the north.
How she waited on her family's every need.
The awful things her siblings said to her as if she wasn't born of privilege like them and her punishments spent in an old storage room while her father berated and beat her for making simple mistakes.
"And why haven't you shared any of this with Lord Rhyel? I thought you were going to be more open with him about these things."
"I know." Sana sighed, wrapping her arms around his leg. "I... I will, but I'm so afraid he won't look at me the way he does now."
"And how's that?"
"Like he... desires me." She laughed softly. "It's new, but every time we dance, he holds me and looks at me as if I'm the most important person in his world," she said, biting her lip. "I like that and I don't want to lose that."
"Mm, if Lord Rhyel is as lovely as you say he is, I doubt he'll ever stop looking at you like that. Be brave, my Lady and tell him."
Sana nodded. "I'll...I'll try."
And maybe that was the real reason he didn't want to tell her who he was. He wanted to keep this a secret from her for just a little while longer.
Because... because he was afraid she wouldn't be this open with him in her waking life.
Sana sat on her balcony watching the mist drift through the trees while she sipped on her tea and waited for Rhyel to join her.
The past week had been wonderful taking etiquette lessons with Rhyel.
She felt more confident on her feet when they danced together and it warmed her heart that he was so patient with her.
Even when she made a mistake in a routine or stumbled over the different greetings from each House, he didn't get angry or frustrated, but constantly encouraged her to keep her head held high and to laugh off her mistakes.
Sana sighed into her cup. Even with all of his encouragement, she still hadn't found the courage to tell him the truth of what she endured in her life before coming to Darcanos or what happened to her mother.
It was one thing to tell him she was a servant, but to tell him what her family did to her was something entirely different.
What's wrong, little flame?
Sune fluttered to the lip of her mug.
You've been sighing since you woke up.
"I don't know," she said, petting Sune's head. "You know I've been having dreams of a dragon for a while now."
Yes, you said his name is Kal. Is he the reason for all your sighing? What did he say to you?
Sana shook her head. "He's not the reason, well maybe he is. It's just lately every time I tell him a story about my past he's always pushing me to tell Rhyel."
Is that a bad thing? I thought you wanted to be more open with Lord Rhyel.
Sana chuckled softly. "That's exactly what Kal said and you're both right," she said, sighing. "And I want to be more open and tell him the things I talk to Kal about."
But?
A blushed burned over Sana's cheeks as she thought of her lessons with Rhyel, his gazes that made her heart flutter and kisses he left on her hands that made her skin tingle. "But when Rhyel and I are together, it feels like he..." she bit her lip. "Like he desires me and I don't want him to stop."
Ah, I see. I'm sure Kal has told you this as well, but if he hasn't, I have no doubt that if you are honest and open with Lord Rhyel, he would never stop desiring you.
"I hope not," she said, sighing again. "Because I-I really think I... I might be falling in—"
"Good morning, Sana," Rhyel's deep voice rolled over her skin and a tingle pooled in her gut as she looked over him walking out on the balcony dressed in a pair of black slacks and a thick robe with his markings on his chiseled chest peeking through the open 'v' of his robe.
His damp black hair was braided back from his face, and her heart thumped at his ocean blue eyes that seemed to glow in a red hue, just like Kal's, when he smiled and sat beside her.
"G-good morning," she said, tearing her gaze away from him with her heart pounding. "Sune and I were just having a chat before you arrived."
"I see that," he said, pouring himself a cup of tea as Sune nodded to him and flew inside. "Were you talking about anything interesting?"
"U-um no, not really," she said, shaking her head. "Just the dreams I've been having."
"Oh?" Rhyel raised an eyebrow. "More dreams of your dragon?" he said, chuckling as he took a drink. "I'll be honest, I'm a little jealous of this dragon you see every night."
She frowned. "Why would you be jealous?"
Rhyel shrugged as twin flames of red stained his cheeks. "I worry that you speak to your dragon more than me, which is fine," he said, sliding his hand over hers. "But I still hope you'll share more of your secrets with me one day."
Sana looked at his hand engulfing hers and she relished in the warmth of it as she nodded with a smile tugging at her lips. "You don't have to worry about that. It's not easy for me to... talk about things, but I-I prefer spending my days with you than fleeting moments in my dreams with my dragon."
A bright smile spread across Rhyel's lips, and a flurry of tingles burst in her belly at the sight of it. "I'm glad," he said, bringing her hand to his lips. "You know I'll always be here for you when you're ready."
"I know," she whispered. "Thank you."
Whenever he said things like that, she ached to spill every damaging detail of her life to him, but not yet. Not this morning. Maybe... maybe the time would be right when she finished his bracelet or before they left on the tour.
For now, she just wanted to talk about nothing or just hold his hand as they drank tea and watched the sun burn the mist off the trees.