Chapter 75
Kaladin actually did it.
Ember watched in quiet agony as her best friend and the man she secretly loved gave his heart to Ragna.
She supposed it was to be expected. Ragna was the Erius and Kaladin was the mightiest of the Barshaa. It wasn't uncommon for him to do such a thing, but it hurt so deeply that she finally knew he didn't share the same feelings as her.
It also hurt that Ragna acknowledged his declaration of unwavering loyalty, but didn't choose to fully bind her heart to his because she didn't love him like that.
The only solace Ember had from this upsetting celebration was that Ragna was honored to have his heart, so at least she respected his choice.
"You haven't lost him, Ember," Ivis said, as he stood beside her watching the moving display. "He'll always be your best friend."
Ember nodded. "I know," she said as her eyes fell on Zivana, Ivis' wife, caring for their young child who'd just found her dragon wings and a wave of sadness washed over her. "But why do I feel so alone now?"
"You're not alone. You have a whole coven and clan who loves you and," he said, nodding to her parents who were toasting the occasion with their visiting brothers and sisters from the Poccanam covens. "Zayan has come all this way to court you, but you haven't even given him a chance."
Ember glanced over at the dark skinned phoenix with his vibrant green eyes, thick curly black hair and beautiful red wings tipped with deep blue. "That's because he didn't come here for me." She chuckled. "He only has eyes for Ragna and I think they would make a lovely couple."
Her astute observations of Ragna and Zayan were punctuated by the two joining each other in a dance around the great fire and the way they gazed at each other made Ember's heart churn with envy.
Not that she had any feelings for Zayan.
She just wished she could have the abundance of love offered to Ragna–specifically the love she'd garnered from Kaladin, but that would never come to pass.
Once a dragon bound his or her heart to another, it was almost like a true mate bond except the only thing that could break it was death and even then, the bond still lingered, but it didn't follow them to their next life like a true mate.
"You may be right about Ragna and Zayan," Ivis murmured. "But you're wrong about Kaladin. His heart may belong to Ragna now, but he still loves you in his own way."
Ember's heart thumped as Kaladin neared them with a brilliant smile gracing his lips, his golden red hued eyes glimmering with glee and his deep tawny arms held out to her.
"Ember, my fiery songbird," he said, bowing to her.
"Would you do me the honor of joining me for a dance to celebrate my pledge? "
She loved and hated the way he made her heart melt for him. "Of course I will." A smile graced her lips as she took his hands. "And I'm so happy for you," she said, squeezing his hands while her heart broke to say those words.
"Congratulations, Kaladin," Ivis said, patting a hand on his back. "May your heart serve to protect Ragna well."
"Thank you, Ivis." Kaladin beamed with pride. "I hope you don't mind me stealing Ember for a dance?"
"No, no. You two enjoy yourselves," Ivis chuckled, waving them off. "I need to give Zivana a break from our little spitfire, anyway."
Ember laughed at the little dragon spewing fire over her plate of meat and giggling as it shriveled into ash. "Aw, bless her. She takes after you."
"Yeah," Ivis said, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck. "That's what I'm worried about."
"She'll be alright," Kaladin said, laughing. "Ivara will be a mighty dragon like you and Zivana."
"She will," Ivis said with a grin as he left them to dote on his family.
"And you, songbird," Kaladin said, tucking her hand in the crook of his arm as he led her to the great fire. "You will be a mighty matriarch one day."
"I hope so." Ember laughed as they danced to the rhythmic beats of the drums with their clan and coven. "But I fear I'll be leading my coven alone."
"Nonsense." Kaladin scoffed. "You will find the one who sweeps you off your feet and yearns to rule beside you, but if that doesn't happen," he said as he twirled her around, holding her back against his chest. Her heart fluttered and simmered as he leaned into her ear. "You'll always have me."
Oh, how she wished that was true, but he would never be hers and the love she felt for him would always remain locked deep inside of her because his act today proved he didn't return her feelings and he never would in this life.
But maybe in another life, in a different time, they would find each other again and he would love her enough to give her his heart instead.
Sana woke to the sound of chirping seabirds and the delicious scent of roast meat and freshly baked bread.
Her stomach growled in need and she groaned at the dull ache throbbing in her head.
Opening her eyes, she frowned sitting up in the cushioned bed in the cavernous cove with sunlight casting its bright rays over a sunken pool beyond what she assumed was a bedroom.
She couldn't remember anything from the night before except dancing the Sha'ani with Rhyel.
Sana rubbed a hand over her tingling heart as she leaned back against the pile of plush pillows behind her.
Ember, what happened last night? Where are we?
A tired melodic laugh whispered through her mind.
Our dragon gave us his heart and I believe we're in an old dragon's den.
Sana nodded as the memory of dancing the Sha'ani with Rhyel and his sensuous proposal of his heart rose to the forefront of her mind, but she couldn't remember anything after that moment.
That's because I took over our body and I am so sorry.
Ember said as her flickering flame shrank as if she were embarrassed.
I got so excited to accept Kaladin's heart that I forgot how young I am and I tried to shift.
Is that why I feel so different?
Sana said, rubbing a hand over her tingling heart.
Because you tried to shift?
Well, yes and the fact that our heart is bound to our dragon.
What?
Sana's eyes grew wide as the tingles spread through her veins.
Like...in the memory I dreamt last night.
Yes...
Ember yawned.
He's bound to us and we are bound to him, just like the memory that came back to me.
She yawned again.
I'm sorry, Sana but I need more rest. I'm not fully recovered from last night.
Sana nodded.
It's alright, Ember. You rest.
Ember's warm soft flame hummed a gentle rhythm inside of her as if she'd fallen asleep.
"Good morning," Rhyel said, shuffling into the room and her heart thumped and simmered at his bare marked up chest and harem pants hanging low on his hips. "How are you feeling?"
"I'm okay," she said, rubbing a hand over her heart. "I don't remember much from last night, but Ember filled me in a little bit before she went back to sleep."
"I'm sure she did," he said, holding his hand out to her. "Why don't we talk about what happened last night over breakfast?"
Sana frowned, slipping her hand in his as he helped her out of the bed. "You made breakfast?"
He chuckled and nodded. "I did. I told you I can cook."
"You did," she said as he led her through the old dwelling that didn't look like it'd been lived in for centuries. "But it doesn't look like there's much here. Where did you get any food to cook? And whose dwelling is this?"
"It's an old dragon's den. Which dragon family it belong to, I'm not sure, but there was a healing pool in here, so it must've belonged to Barshaas who were gifted in the art of healing," he said, leading her down a cavernous hallway to a covered terrace pooling with sunlight overlooking to sparkling blue ocean.
"And I went fishing and foraging to make our breakfast this morning. "
Sana's stomach grumbled at the display of smoked salmon, poached eggs, fresh bread rolls and sliced mangoes and melons on the clay-stoned table. "Oh, this looks and smells wonderful," she said, sitting on the cushioned couch that lined the terrace. "Thank you for making all of this."
"Of course," he said, sitting beside her and pouring her a thick deep orange drink. "This is a banana and mango smoothie made with the Barshaa healing waters. It'll help with any lasting remnants you might be feeling from last night."
She took a hesitant sip of the bittersweet smoothie and her eyes grew wide as it soothed the dull, pounding ache in her head. "Mm, it's delicious too."
"I'm glad you think so," he said, making her a plate of food. "And I'm sorry things got a little out of hand last night."
"Don't apologize for that. It wasn't all your fault." She shook her head as she drank more of the soothing drink before sitting her glass on the table. "Ember said she got too excited when she took over our body and tried to shift."
"Yes," he said, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck. "She and Kal had some things they desperately needed to tell each other."
Sana nodded. "I guess they did. I had a dream of Ember's memory when Kaladin gave his heart to Ragna," she said, rubbing a hand over her heart. "And Ember... she was so hurt by it."
"I know," he said, threading his fingers together. "But that won't happen in this life, Sana. I'm yours now."
"I can feel that now," she said, sliding her hand over his.
"In Ember's memory, she said this bond can only be broken by death and it still lingers on a dragon's heart in their next life.
" She bit her lip as Ember's envy and hurt washed over her as if she was reliving the memory again.
"Does Kal still have feelings for Ragna too? "
"He did, but those lingering feelings faded the moment he realized who you are," Rhyel said, wrapping his hands around hers. "He was always in love with Ember and that isn't going to change because I'm in love with you too."
She should've found comfort and solace from the clarity in his blue eyes, but a nagging twinge of doubt hovered like a cloud around her heart as if she couldn't truly believe or accept 't believe or accept that Rhyel would always be hers.
"But it could change," she said, squeezing his hand as she looked away from him to the waves building on the ocean. "Because I'm not your true mate."
"I have no need for one," Rhyel said, curling his fingers under her chin and turning her face to his. "And my love for you will never change, Sana. I wasn't lying when I told you you're the one my wolf howls for, the phoenix my dragon was born for and the one my heart beats for."
He caressed her bottom lip with his thumb. "And I'll keep reminding you of that until you truly believe it."
Her heart thumped as she wrapped her fingers around his wrist. "How do you know that I...I don't?" she whispered.
A smile graced his lips as he kissed away the tear rolling down her cheek. "Because I can feel what's in your heart," he said, taking her hand and pressing it over his chest. "You'll feel what's in my heart too when you're ready to truly accept me."
Sana frowned. "But I do accept you."
Rhyel shook his head. "Only part of you has," he said, caressing the back of her hand. "And maybe once you understand more about who you are, you'll be ready to accept the bond our hearts share."
Sana gazed at her hand over Rhyel's chest and the gentle beat of his heart.
She didn't realize that was how their bond worked and she wanted to feel what was on his heart too, but she wasn't sure the doubt she felt would ever go away.
It felt like she'd always be waiting for someone or something to ruin the happiness she felt with him.
"I... I think you're right," she said, looking up at him.
"I'm sorry I'm not ready to accept this yet, but I want to. "
I know you do and you will," he said, bringing her hand to his lips and kissing her palm. "But there's no rush and right now, you should have some breakfast and finish that smoothie so you can feel refreshed enough for the wedding tonight."
"Oh goodness." Sana's heart thumped and her eyes grew wide. "I think all that kelp liquor made me forget the whole reason we came here," she said, biting her lip. "And I'm not sure I'm ready to face them all at once."
How would her father receive her? Would he pretend he didn't send her to the north to die?
Did it matter? Now that she knew she wasn't a Lightbourne, it didn't matter what they thought of her, but she still couldn't shake the unease of being back at the place she once called home with the people who treated her as if she was nothing.
"Don't worry, Sana. I'll be by your side," Rhyel said, squeezing her hand. "And there's nothing they can do to hurt you anymore. I won't allow it."
A smile tugged at Sana's lips. "I know you won't," she said, sliding her hand to his cheek. "And I'm glad I don't have to face them alone." She leaned into him and pressed a soft kiss against his lips. "I'm glad you'll be with me," she whispered.
A warm tingle raced down her spine as he cupped the back of her neck. "Always," he murmured against her lips.
Her worrisome thoughts floated from her mind as she wrapped her arms around Rhyel's waist, melting in his embrace and the sweet tenderness of his kiss. She never needed to worry when she was with him, when she held his heart and he'd do anything to keep her safe.
Everything would be fine at the wedding and once it was over, she wanted to go home and start becoming the woman and the phoenix she was meant to be.
A/N: Oo, my heart hurt for Ember in that memory ?? And I don't think Sana having that memory is going to help that doubt she feels about Rhyel's love for her.
BUT I'm glad she wants to become who's she's meant to be.
I feel a massive upgrade in Sana's confidence loading. ...?????????