Chapter 8 #2
She steeled herself, tensing at his grip. “I know where you go. I know about Andrea.”
The words shocked him in a way he wasn’t expecting.
His mouth fell open, but nothing came out.
There was no explosion, no yelling; there was only shocked silence.
He couldn’t imagine how she could possibly know, how she felt so confident bringing it up to him like this, or how he could make this go away.
He tightened his grip on her arm, digging his fingertips into her soft skin, causing red spots to bloom across it.
Just as he felt like he was going to lose control, he released his grip, pushing her away slightly and turning his back to her.
He quickly put distance between them, pulling on his hair with both hands and walking toward the other side of the kitchen.
“Don’t bother denying it, Philip,” Kathryn said flatly. “She told me herself.” She walked to the other side of the table—an act of defense.
He turned to look at her then and saw nothing resembling love or obedience, nothing resembling Kathryn. The pain on her face was loud. Her eyes were rimmed red, her lips trembled, and her hands were balled into fists that she pressed into the table in front of her.
“Kathryn,” he managed to say quietly. He had no plan for what he would say next.
She shook her head, bringing one hand up to stop him before he could tumble into a string of nonsense excuses. “Didn’t you hear me, Philip? She told me herself !” She slammed her hand down on the table, sending the teacup careening over. “Your mistress called our home. She told me everything!”
The only sound was cold tea dripping onto the hardwood floor, and it sounded sickening to him.
It felt as though time were suspended and they were now just hovering in a disgusting moment.
He swallowed hard; anger was beginning to explode from deep in his gut.
He knew Andrea was unclean. She was a filthy animal, powerless to rise above her own primal desires.
Initially that’s what had drawn him to her.
He saw sin. He struggled to tame her, struggled to keep her clean.
She feared him and worshipped him in equal amounts, but she wasn’t Kathryn.
He could never mold her into a suitable wife.
He told Andrea that early on in their relationship, and she’d punished him for it.
She’d seduced him onto her level, pulling him down into the depths with her and then betraying his trust, revealing the repulsive creature he’d always known was inside her.
“It was an indiscretion,” he finally said, staring at the liquid slowly dripping from the table.
“An indiscretion?” She laughed, looking at him as if she were occupying a place high above him. “‘For God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.’”
He scoffed, gritting his teeth together in an effort to stay calm. “Sermonizing me now, are you?”
She grinned, a smile he had never seen on her face before.
This brand-new creature before him was a nightmare.
“Sermonizing you?” she asked, shaking her head.
“You said those very words last week at the Sunday service. Hebrews 13:4: ‘Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled!’” Her fist hit the table again, sending the teacup tumbling to the floor.
It shattered loudly, ricocheting like the spilled tea.
Then her face dropped, settling into an emotionless mask.
“You hypocrite. You sinful hypocrite. You preach and you judge, but you are the rot. You are the destruction of virtue that you preach against.”
He walked out of the kitchen as she spoke, not wanting to look at the stranger anymore. He could feel anger rising inside him, taunting him and imploring him to strike out. She followed, continuing her verbal assault as they entered the living room.
“She told me you’re violent, Philip.” Her voice was breaking, and she moved into the room with her hands clasped together. It was like she was begging the ultimate unseen authority to make it all stop, make it all go away.
He sat on the couch and put his head in his hands. He began to rub his temples, staring down at the cream-colored carpet. It looked like it could be dirty, like it was once pure white. “She’s a liar,” he said.
“You’re the liar,” Kathryn shot back. “She sent me photos of her bruises. She told me how you brutalized her.” The tears started falling freely then, and she let her arms drop limply to her sides.
His gaze remained fixed on the carpet. It was never pure white; it was always this dirty shade of cream.
He wondered if people knew that when they saw it or if they just thought it was filthy.
“I will not be judged in my own home,” he said sternly, finally standing up and looking at his wife’s tear-stained face.
“There is only one who can judge me, and it’s not you, Kathryn. ”
“I want you out of my house. I should have kicked you out of this house a long time ago,” she said, her voice hollow and far away. “If you don’t leave, I’ll report what you did to that girl.”
His heart beat wildly in his chest. He felt himself shudder with rage, flipping through dozens of reactions as he hardened himself to his shattered spouse. Before he could respond, Kathryn turned around and walked toward the staircase.
“I’m not the only one with the photos,” she said calmly, slowly ascending each step in the dark. He could see the outline of her white pajamas, the glistening of tears in her tired eyes. “Leave.”
He stood in the dark living room for what felt like an hour before he finally walked out the front door of his home.
Everything he had worked for was slipping away, falling to pieces because of a whore.
His father had always told him that some of the greatest men were taken down by women who didn’t know their place, their silent role.
He could feel rage spreading like spilled ink inside his body.
As he walked across the front lawn, he looked back at the house’s top right window: the room where his son was still sleeping.
There was no light and no movement, and Philip vowed to him in the dark that he would fix it.
Getting into the car, Philip settled himself as the interior lights turned on and the ignition clicked.
He knew what was necessary, what was required of him.
He always knew Andrea wasn’t meant for the kingdom, and she had proven him right.
Eve may have eaten the apple, but Andrea took down the entire tree.
She burned the garden to ash. And she was going to learn that even penance wouldn’t bring her salvation.
Later that night, as the searing-hot iron burned away the flesh of her tongue, quieting her screams forever, his anger didn’t dissipate. She was a mistake, a venomous serpent spitting blasphemy, and the iron’s unforgiving bite was the sermon he intended to deliver.
Now he watches the detective hurrying away from the grocery store with two bags slung on his arm.
He throws them into his car, sliding into the driver’s seat after them.
As the detective pulls away from the parking lot, Philip asks himself how far he is willing to take this to protect his secrets.
He can already feel the weight of judgment casting out from the community.
Hawkins and the congregants will surely begin to ask more questions the longer he is gone.
With a powerful family behind him and the loyalty of the Kingsborough police force in his hands, Philip can stand solid in his convictions.
He won’t let someone take everything he has worked for, and it’s time for certain people to learn their place.
It’s their own fault that they have to learn it the hard way.