Chapter Three #3
Fuck. So, this was how it was going to be, then.
Isaiah closed his eyes, trying to decide whether knowledge of the outside world was worth being at the mercy of Hilker’s impulses.
But if—when—he died down here, he’d never know.
And if this was the last place, the last person, his body would ever see, what was the harm in giving up a little more of himself along the way?
All things were temporary. Hilker couldn’t hurt him any more than he already had.
Isaiah chose his words carefully. “How is Jose’s Blood Bank fairing? Are Justin and Clementine okay?” As much as he hated the sound of their names together—hated that his wasn’t a part of it—so long as Clementine was important to Justin, then his health and happiness was important to Isaiah.
He expected Hilker to pull out his phone to search for the answer, but instead he simply nodded.
“Jose’s Blood Bank thrives. Since the protests started, they have a line of donors every weekend, and there are human volunteers guarding the vampires who come for blood in the evening.
Most news outlets are avoiding it, but there’s a constant stream of viral social media posts, if you know where to look.
” Clearly he had been looking. “And both its owners are there most days. I can’t say for certain whether they are happy or fulfilled or in love or any such nonsense, but they appear healthy in the videos, and new lab equipment routinely arrives at the blood bank, so I assume Dr. Hughes is enjoying himself. How was that?”
He said it as though it was a riddle Isaiah could solve.
Every detail of Hilker’s answer was still settling into Isaiah’s chest, but he could already feel it filling up the empty, aching spaces.
That fullness would surely shatter if he ever saw Justin again and was confronted by the pity in his eyes and the what-if still strung out between them.
But the chances that Isaiah would leave this lab alive were minimal, so he could bask in this knowledge as though it was the future after his death, and not the one where he’d been forgotten.
Isaiah’s Batman was happy. Hilker had said he couldn’t confirm that, but Isaiah could.
He had Jose’s and a settled, cheerful Clementine, and a community rising around him in this time of turmoil.
If Isaiah had known Justin even a quarter as well as he did, then Justin was the happiest he’d ever been.
Isaiah sniffled suddenly, unable to hold back the rush of emotion that swept through him. He brushed at the edges of his eyes and whispered a quick, “Thank you.”
He could feel Hilker watching him, and he didn’t want to look. “That was everything to you, wasn’t it?”
Isaiah couldn’t deny it now. In a last-ditch effort to appeal to whatever goodness Hilker probably didn’t have, he held up his hand, like that could ward off against being taken like a fool. “Don’t…”
Hilker nudged the hand away. It sent a shiver through Isaiah, hot and terrible, but all Hilker did was boost himself onto the table at Isaiah’s side.
It was so odd seeing him sit there, on the experiment table, his hands folded in his lap, like he was… like they were…
Quietly, Hilker asked, “You love Justin?”
“Very much.” As Isaiah said it, his heart ached. A lump strained at the back of his throat. “But he doesn’t…”
Hilker sighed. His gaze, not hot or cold now, just distant. “I understand what it’s like to not be wanted in the ways that you want. In the ways that you need. And to be the one to do the opposite, as well.” He glanced at Isaiah, a little quirk forming in his lips. “Outside this lab, to be clear.”
It didn’t feel right to just sit with him and talk like this. But Isaiah wasn’t sure it felt wrong either. Nothing quite made sense with this cruel and unusual man. “Who is it for you?”
“There have been a fair few,” Hilker admitted.
“But I recently had a girlfriend who I loved in ways that were deeper than the physical. I would have been the whipping boy to her princess, but she wanted three dates a week and a kiss goodnight, and whether I wish for someone’s body or their mind, I have never been able to love like that. ”
“What happened to her?”
“She grew annoyed and left. Ghosted me, as you say.” He closed his eyes, and his throat bobbed. “Or perhaps something worse… I could never figure out…”
“You love her.” Isaiah angled the question right back at Hilker, this time as a statement, genuine and strangely nonjudgmental. For all of Hilker’s faults, perhaps his love was not one of them. It was abnormal, yes. But abnormal did not need to mean bad.
Hilker smiled weakly. “How do you love someone who’s abandoned you?”
“That clearly hasn’t stopped me.”
Hilker gave a soft, light laugh, so atypical for his demeanor that Isaiah could hardly believe it was coming from him at all. His expression twisted quickly, though, the arrogance returning and a smirk creeping underneath. “You still owe me.”
“You can’t fuck me,” Isaiah said. “And I won’t…” He motioned to Hilker’s nether regions, trying not to appear like he was looking at them when he did. At least the man wasn’t visibly hard. That would have been even more awkward after the conversation they were having.
Hilker ran his tongue over his teeth, half his mouth lifting into a smug grin. So softly Isaiah knew Landon couldn’t hear, he said, “What I want from your mouth is a little different…”