Chapter 12 #4
I would sit in a chair and pretend to be Mama.
I would say, Meg, you comb that hair of yours and wash your face I did not raise you to be a pig in a sty how about using soap this time!
That was how I would make myself wash and generally keep myself in one piece.
You would not believe how I would carry on when I would not do what I told me to do.
Finally the weather broke and it was not so cold.
So I said, I will walk the twenty miles to town and beg for food like crazy Old Miss Rondo with the can.
But somebody in my head said, You better think about that, Meg, because what if she comes back?
And you are gone and then you keep on missing the other, back and forth and back?
So I got me a red crayon and I wrote big on the wall: STAY HERE I WILL BE RIGHT BACK.
I had burned up all the paper already. The whole time thinking how cross she would be with me for crayoning the wall.
If I had just stayed at Ophelia’s.
If I had just let the pregnant mama dog back in the house.
My bones ached like they had cutting blades in them.
They started to squeak like doors. When I threw up, nothing came out, so I went to the cabinet and shut my nose and I swallowed a oyster and it slid down like a slimy thing might slip down a hole.
But then up it came. So I tried again. Before I knew it I had ate the whole jar of them.
I was so tired. I was still so sure she was coming back. If anybody asked, I would have said it.
One morning, the pretend mama who made me wash myself came in and sat me down. She said, You have been a very bad girl, Meg. Burning my things up. Crayoning my wall.
I said, I did not, trying to fool her with the lying lesson like she had taught me. She said, Yes you did, I have had it up to here with you. And the pretend mama got up and walked out the door and left me there. You would not think that could happen to a person twice.
I believe it was a day or so after that when a man pulled up in a car with square wood sides that looked like a box on wheels.
I thought, That is the white man, Bert, who found the dead pregnant mama dog coming to wring my neck. I hid behind the plaid settee with the wooden arms that I could not get off to burn.
He knocked and then opened the door right off himself.
I leaned around to see. It was a man in a wrinkled brown jacket.
He was not fat but he did look like he ate pretty good, and had brown hair and crinkled eyes.
He must have saw me peeking because he came inside and around the settee and said, Oh Jesus. Oh dear God.
He was not mean or mad, but I stayed where I was.
He said, Darlin’, are you alright?
I have been better, mister.
He asked, How old are you?
Nine, I said. How old are you?
He ran his hand slow through his hair. I noticed it was a toasted bread color because food was on my mind. He reached for me, but I jerked back.
It’s alright, darlin’, I’m a doctor—
I told him I did not need any kind of shot.
How long you been out here by yourself?
What day is it today? I asked. I looked over at the wall calendar with the cheery Santy Claus drinking the Co-Cola bottle. Dammit, I could have burned that damn thing for heat.
He said, It’s January 2.
Lord. Where does the time go?
He swallowed hard in his neck and looked at a silver watch on a chain like he did not know what he was supposed to do with me.
So I told it to him straight. All I need is you to ride me to town, buy me some bread and a bacon slab, maybe a couple hard candies if that is not pushing it, and then you just bring me right on back home. To meet my mama when she comes on back home.
He told me to stay where I was and went and got me a apple from the car.
I had not ever ate a apple so good. I asked, What other food you got in there, mister?
He was walking all around the house, looking at the half-burned chair and all inside the kitchen cabinets. I worried maybe this was about money. I told him, Just run me to the store and I will pay you back. Soon as a thing comes in, I will pay you right back.
He shook his head and said, I need to get you somewhere better, darlin’.
But what if she comes back? I pointed to the writing on the wall because I was very confused.
I would’ve come sooner if I’d known, if your mama had gotten in touch sooner—
Well I threw a flying fit then. Where is she and When is she coming home and Where is she gone to and What do you know—
He shook his head. Darlin’, I need to get you somewhere safe, and you need something to eat.
Lord, I just wanted food, so I said, Alright. And then you bring me right on back? You take me to the store and then you will bring me right on back?
Because it said on the wall I WILL BE RIGHT BACK and you see, I was very confused.
He nodded and he was not scratching his nose or anything.
He put me on the seat of his car next to him, and I asked him more questions about my mama, but he just shook his head.
I was so tired, I could not stay awake. When I woke up, the car was in front of a blue house with a sign out front that said THE LAFAYETTE COUNTY ORPHAN ASYLUM FOR GIRLS.