Chapter 18 #2
"Is that the reason? That man in the car—that's why you're in such a hurry to throw me out of your life like garbage?" The moment I opened my mouth, I knew I'd messed up. But I couldn't control my emotions. Anger was burning me to ash.
Ella stood there, face instantly pale.
I threw my cigarette on the ground and crushed it. Then I strode quickly toward her. "Tell me." I was almost begging. If she just told me she loved him, maybe—maybe I could give her other options.
She'd tortured me too long. It hurt too much.
"What right do you have to control me? Wait, how do you even know I live here? You had me followed? Those random people showing up around me lately—those were all yours!"
"I'm your husband!" I told her seriously. "That's me protecting you! If my people weren't watching you twenty-four-seven, do you have any idea how dangerous it is for a single, beautiful woman living in a place like this?"
Ella was too naive. Since graduating high school, she'd only worked at the sanatorium. Everyone around her loved her. She had no idea how cruel the world could be.
"What can that doctor give you? A shy kiss? A life struggling in the slums? He can't even pay your medical bills!"
"He gave me respect! He gave me warmth you never did!
" Ella actually said. "Lucas, all those nights I waited for you to come home—where were you?
When I walked five kilometers in the rain, called you until your phone died—where were you?
Did you ever think about how I felt? Now I finally don't have to wait anymore.
I'm done with you! Please just let me go! I don't want to live in pain anymore!"
Her words were blades, shredding my heart.
I never knew she'd gone through this. She walked five kilometers in the rain?
She called until my phone died? When did this happen?
Why couldn't I remember any of it? My head spun in chaos, guilt and pain twisted together, nearly tearing me apart.
I wanted to say something, to explain, to apologize, but my mind was blank. I didn't know where to start.
Then, sharp pain on the back of my hand snapped me back.
Her fingernails had scratched a bloody line across my skin.
Blood beaded on the surface, stinging. And then Ella cried.
She kept crying, tears streaming down like broken pearls.
In that moment, I suddenly understood. From the second she saw me in this hallway, from the moment she heard my voice, all I brought her was pain.
Fear, anger, grief, despair—every emotion was written on her face.
But not a trace of joy or relief. Seeing me didn't comfort her.
It put her on guard. I wasn't her refuge.
I was the nightmare she was trying to escape.
I thought I'd come to win her back, but I was just hurting her again and again, with my suspicions, accusations, and possessiveness.
I was like a walking disaster, making her world more broken every time I appeared.
People passed in the hallway, looking at us curiously.
Ella's face flushed instantly. She turned away, fumbling for her keys to escape inside, but I stepped forward first, arm braced hard against the doorframe.
I lowered my head, almost humbly begging.
"Ella, just this once... please, give me one chance. Even just ten minutes. Please?"
Ella gave in. She released the door. I knew—that was Ella's nature. She'd forgive anyone who showed her weakness.
The moment the door closed, I couldn't hold back anymore. I pressed her against the wall, hands braced on either side, trapping her between me and the surface.
"Lucas, you—"
I kissed her.
I'd held back too long. From this morning at the hospital, seeing her and that man sleeping side by side, to just now witnessing them kiss in the car—that burning agony had nearly driven me insane.
I didn't know if that doctor had targeted Ella's tendency to accommodate, her inability to refuse, but right now, my only thought was to completely erase any trace of another man from her body.
This kiss had no gentleness. I forced her teeth apart, tongue driving in, brutally claiming every inch of her mouth.
Her lips were incredibly soft, carrying that faint sweetness that haunted me.
My tongue swept across her palate, locked onto hers, sucking and biting ruthlessly.
Ella struggled violently, fingers pushing at my chest. I tightened my arms, pinning her to the wall.
Her broken whimpers didn't stop me. They pulled me taut like a bowstring stretched to its limit.
My other hand slid down her curves, gripped her hips hard, and lifted up. She trembled all over, letting out a shattered moan. That sound was a hammer blow straight to my lower abdomen.
My slacks were painfully tight, erection already rock hard and throbbing. I pressed my hips harder against hers, making her feel exactly what she did to me—that fierce, screaming desire. Her eyes went wide, but she didn't push away. Instead, her hands weakly climbed around my neck.
I kissed her like a madman while carrying her toward the couch. I pressed her beneath me, hands already impatiently sliding under her clothes.
I couldn't wait anymore. I was desperate to tear away everything covering her body.
I wanted to conquer her in the most primal, brutal way possible, to fill her completely, make her tremble and moan beneath me until we merged into one.
I was crazed with the need to brand her from the inside, make her forget that doctor's face in this life and the next.
My hand roughly pushed up her shirt. Through the lace bra, that soft touch nearly destroyed what little control I had left. My hand reached behind her, fumbling for those damned hooks.
"Smack!"
The sharp sound exploded in the silent room.
Burning pain spread across my cheek. I froze completely.
Since birth, except for my grandfather's stern lessons when I was young, no one had ever hit me.
"Lucas, you said you just wanted to talk!" Ella's eyes were red, voice thick with tears. "What do you think I am? Some tool you can use whenever you want? You're... you're too much!"
The pain in my cheek kept spreading.
I stared at her, somewhat dazed, my heart feeling like someone had grabbed it tight.
For the past two years, I'd always assumed Ella liked this pace, because I'd never shown her real tenderness or care.
Except for our wedding night, when I'd briefly restrained myself after realizing she was a virgin, every time since had been my selfish plundering.
I was addicted to that storm-like possession.
I selfishly thought her acceptance meant we fit together.
But I never imagined she'd be this unhappy. That she'd hate my touch this much.
Watching her curl into the corner of the couch, shoulders heaving with fear, Mrs. Hughes's anxious voice suddenly echoed in my head, "She's hospitalized... It's serious."
She'd just been discharged, her body so weak she could barely stand, and all I could think about was violating her body to claim ownership. I looked at my hand braced beside her, suddenly feeling like an irredeemable bastard.