Chapter 38 #3
I extend my hand down to Ryan. He looks up at me with wet eyes. I nod at him and swallow down the lump that’s in my throat while the rest of the Blizzards come pouring over the boards in front of their bench and skate past us to celebrate their win.
“Come on,” I say to Ryan. He grabs my hand and slowly rises to his feet.
“We should check on Ivanov,” he says. “That wasn’t his fault.”
I throw my arm around him and guide him towards Ivanov and his net. “It wasn’t yours, either.”
“Maybe not,” Ryan says. “But I’m going to be playing this over and over again in my mind on an endless loop for the rest of my life.”
“Or,” I say, jostling him around, “we replace this memory with us winning the cup next year.”
He huffs out a laugh. “Look who’s finally becoming an optimist.”
“What can I say? You’ve rubbed off on me.”
“Literally.” He laughs for real this time. “And often.”
Ryan
Normally, I’m all about the handshake line, but this is brutal. This is easily the most heartbroken I’ve ever been, and I have parents who hate me. There is literally no worse feeling than losing this damn cup when it was so nearly within our reach.
“Good game,” I say almost robotically to every player on the Blizzards whose hand I shake.
One by one. One after another. An endless line of the people who just ripped the Stanley Cup from us.
An entire season’s worth of work, gone. And now I have to shake their hands and congratulate them when all I want to do is get on our damn plane, fly back to St. Louis, and curl around Brandon in our bed until my chest no longer feels like it’s cracking in half.
“You almost had us,” Tavish says as he grasps my hand. “That was a good, hard fight. I can’t wait to see you guys again next year.”
“Thanks,” I say. “You guys played great. It’s easy to see why you’ve won the cup twice now.”
He pats me on the back and moves on. Next in the line is Connor. He looks like an absolute mess. Completely drained and like he wants to go home as much as I do. Gavin is right on his heels, keeping a hand on Connor’s shoulder as they make their way through the line.
When Connor reaches me, instead of simply shaking my hand, he grabs it and pulls me into a hug as well. “You should be really proud of yourself,” he says. “The Mules played so hard. This game really could have gone either way.”
“Nah,” I tell him. “It was yours from the start.” He lets go of me and I look him right in the eyes.
They conceal nothing. He’s just won one of the biggest games of his life and while I know he’s happy, I also know he’s sad.
He gave up so much to be here. So much to be able to be free and to be open.
So much in order to love the man standing behind him, who, even in victory, looks like his only concern is making sure Connor is alright.
I grab a hold of him again. “If we had to lose to someone, I’m glad we lost to you. You deserve this win. Enjoy it.”
“Thank you,” he says. “And next year, we’ll be ready to defend it against you again.”
He lets me go but stays near as Gavin comes in for his handshake. He grins at me as he takes my hand. “I hope those ribs aren’t giving you too much trouble.”
“It’s all part of the game, right,” I say, as he pats me on the shoulder with his free hand.
As he lets go of me he nods his chin at Brandon coming up next in line. He waits for him to come to us, then leans in close for only us to hear. “Take care of each other this summer.”
My head jolts and I look at Brandon, whose eyes have gone wide.
Gavin grins. “Don’t worry,” he says. “I figured it out on my own, and I haven’t told anyone other than Connor. But take care of each other. And if you ever need anything…”
“Like someone who can throw a punch,” Brandon says.
Gavin laughs, and lightly punches Brandon’s shoulder in jest. “You get it.”
“Yeah, we both do.” I reach my hand out to shake his again.
Brandon
After getting reassurance from Connor and Gavin, I only have one handshake left to take before I can get off this ice and wallow in misery with the rest of my teammates.
Ander.
He’s at the end of their line, standing there in all his gear with his arms outstretched for a hug.
His mask has been taken off, so I can see his face, which has little bits of confetti stuck all around it.
I expect to see him elated. And while he does look happy, there is a tentativeness to his smile.
I shake my head at him. As miserable as I am right now, I’m also thrilled for him. He is still, no matter what, my big brother. So I let him lift me off my feet as he hugs me.
“I am so fucking proud of you!” he shouts into my ear.
“Proud of me? You’re the one who won.”
He puts me back down. “I’ve won this thing before.
What I hadn’t done…” He pauses and pushes me with his goalie glove.
“Is watch my brother’s dreams come true.
You’re one of us now. And I can’t wait to play against you for years to come.
” He pats me one more time on my shoulder.
“Now go be with your team. You and I can celebrate more this summer. With Ryan too.”
I watch him skate away to go join the rest of his team while the commissioner and the keeper of the cup begin to walk the Stanley Cup to center ice to award it to the Blizzards.
They carry it right past Danton, who is waiting by the exit, patting each of us Mules on the shoulder as we go by.
He looks devastated, but like a good captain, he’s holding it together for all of us.
Taking a deep breath, I skate towards him.
I’ve watched the Blizzards get handed the cup before.
There’s no need for me to watch it again.
The need is for me to be with my team. Win or lose.
Good or bad. It doesn’t matter. In hockey, your team is a second family.
And damn am I glad to be a part of the Mules.
“We’ll get them next year, Cap,” I say when I reach Danton. I’m the last one to him.
“Damn right we will,” he says as we walk off the ice and head down the tunnel.