Chapter Thirty-One Enzo #3
Time wrinkled around us, losing concept and meaning. After kissing his way down my body, he kissed his way up. It was soft and romantic, without a trace of passion.
By the time he reached my chin, the sun had completely set, and the chill settled across my skin like a blanket. I was exhausted like I’d never been before. Emptied of feelings, words, and thoughts.
“H-happy birthday.” I somehow worked the words out of my mouth. My whole body was trembling, my cock still soft and unaroused. Dried, salty tears peppered my chin, neck, and chest.
I’d never felt less attractive.
But I’d never felt more wanted in my life.
“Thank you.” Tom leaned down to kiss my mouth gently. “So far, it’s the best I’ve ever had.”
And maybe he was right, after all.
Because something had awakened inside me on that evening, under that sunset.
Something I’d kept asleep for a very long time, tranquilizing it any which way I could.
But it was wide awake, alert, and alive now.
And I knew, from this moment on, it was never going back to sleep.
On our way back from our hike/picnic/my mental breakdown, I returned to my normal self.
More or less, anyway.
Thoughts of coming out—as deranged and unlikely as they were—had planted themselves firmly in the back of my head.
The soldiers would lose all respect for me. My brothers would lose their shit—for business reasons, but still. Mama’s heart would be broken. I was supposed to be her “normal” son, even though if she looked closely, she’d see I was anything but. And the fragile deal with the Russians would implode.
But…
Tierney and Lila would be proud and happy for me. Achilles and Luca would no longer make jokes about my sexuality—I didn’t think they’d care much, one way or the other—and I’d finally be able to live my life freely.
Or would I? Tom still wouldn’t be caught dead with me.
And since he was the only person I wanted to be with, and couldn’t be with in public, my motivation was currently nonexistent, more or less.
Tom and I went back to the house, keeping the same distance we had when we climbed the mountain. We showered together, cooked dinner, and fucked a couple times. We found his boss’s chessboard and played—I won, but had an unfair advantage, having been brought up playing chess—and went to bed.
We had to wake up at five in the morning to head back home and beat traffic. Tom seemed completely awake and in good spirits. Of course the ghoul was a morning person.
The drive back felt much shorter than our way to Lake George, but maybe because all we had waiting for us was a reality neither of us was excited to face.
I had a sham of a wedding to plan or a war to fight with the Russians. Both options were unpalatable.
And Tom was facing his own struggles, what with the FBI trying to hurl his ass to Chicago and his desired promotion nowhere in sight. I knew he was having a tough time at work, and I hated that we couldn’t talk about it.
This time, when we got to the city, he didn’t park in front of my building. He slipped into the underground parking and killed the engine. We sat in the dark, neither of us moving or speaking for a few moments.
“I wanted to give you something, too.” He stared at his steering wheel.
“For your birthday?” I teased.
He nodded stiffly, back to being as personable and welcoming as a wet sock.
He produced something from his pocket, sliding it into my hand.
“A crumpled Monopoly card,” I muttered, staring at it in confusion. “My favorite. How did you know?”
Tom shook his head in a you’re-an-adorable-idiot manner.
“It’s not just a card. It’s a get-out-of-jail-free card.
Look at this as a blank check. If you ever get into trouble, if life gets too much, no matter what happens, I promise I’ll stop everything and save you, Enzo.
No questions asked. Just flash me this card and I’ll do it, okay? ”
I worked my throat so I wouldn’t cry again. “I—Tom…”
He put his hand on mine. He was still wearing the bracelet, even though it didn’t go with his sharp suit. “You don’t have to say anything.”
I didn’t.
But I didn’t leave, either.
Even though I knew I should.
“What if you get into trouble helping me?” I asked, finally.
“I followed you to a club, saw an idiot with your dick in his mouth and decided to kill him, and got out of it unscathed,” he said seriously. “I know how to cover my tracks when I need to.”
As far as love declarations went, this wasn’t a great one. I doubted Tom could ever feel toward me something warmer than lust. And still, it tugged at my heartstrings when he said that.
“Androcles and the Lion.” I smiled sadly.
He raised an eyebrow. “Am I the lion?”
Yes. And I am the utter fool who ignores your natural inclination to kill me.
“Thank you,” I said quietly.
“Don’t thank me. I’m not doing this from the goodness of my heart; I’m doing this because I have little choice. You’re my butterfly, Vincenzo. And I’m your net. I’ll never let you fall. I’ll always catch you. It might feel suffocating sometimes, but I can’t help it. I’m wired to protect you.”