Chapter 27
Yana Pov~
Gianna left me alone with the giant.
He sat down in the chair beside me, taking Gia's empty seat as his large, warm hand rested gently against my back. I let out a sigh and buried my face into my arms, refusing to look at him.
I didn't want to talk to him. Not because I didn't trust him. Not because I was angry. Because I was scared he would think I regretted everything.
Regretted falling in love with him. Regretted marrying him. Regretted having our children. And that couldn't be further from the truth.
Matteo was my steady when my entire life felt like it was falling apart. He brought light into my world when all I knew was darkness back at the Russian mansion. He made me laugh. He made me feel safe. He made me feel something I had never felt before, not as a child, not as a young woman.
He was my everything. And somehow, that made this even harder. Because how could I explain that I was hurting without making him feel like he was the reason?
"Cosa ti infastidisce mia cara?" (What's bothering you, my dear?) His voice was soft as he rubbed soothing circles against my back, calling me by the name I had grown to love over the years.
See?
How was I supposed to be upset when he was always so damn sweet? I took a deep breath, gathering whatever courage I had left, and slowly lifted my head.
His warm brown eyes met mine immediately. Concern was written all over his face, but underneath it was the same love he always gave me.
"You know I love you, right?" I whispered, giving him a serious look so he understood I meant every word. A small smile tugged at his lips. He leaned down, brushing his lips against mine before pulling back slightly to look at me. "Always."
My heart squeezed. "Please don't be mad about what I'm about to say," I warned, giving him a pleading look.
His eyebrow lifted slightly. "As long as you didn't fuck anyone or eat the leftover cake I brought home, I'll be okay."
I couldn't help but laugh softly, shaking my head. "No. I just..." I paused, looking down at my hands. "I'm thinking about our past."
His expression shifted slightly, becoming more serious. "Maybe some of the decisions we made back then are affecting the kids now." The words sounded strange even as I said them. I knew what I meant, but I didn't know how to explain it without making it sound like I was blaming someone.
Matteo studied my face carefully. "What are you saying, cara?" His voice held confusion. "You didn't want to have kids?"
My eyes widened, and I immediately shook my head. "No. No, that's not what I mean." I reached over and grabbed his hand. "I love our children. They are my life. They are the best thing that ever happened to me."
I swallowed, trying to find the right words. "But today...watching Aldo look at them like they were something less than human because of who they are...it made me wonder if we should have prepared them better."
Matteo's expression softened. "Yana..."
"I don't regret you," I whispered quickly. "I don't regret us. Not for one second. I would choose you a thousand times over." My voice cracked slightly. "But I hate that our children have to suffer because of a war they never started. Because of something they never chose."
I looked down, my heart heavy.
"I just keep wondering if we were selfish. If we were so caught up in loving each other that we forgot the world would make them pay for it or if we made the mistake of thinking everything would magically fix itself after our fathers were gone."
My voice cracked slightly as I looked down at our intertwined hands. "Like once they were gone, the war would end and everyone would just accept us. We didn't think about what this would mean for our kids. We didn't think about the way they would be exposed to the prejudices of the Mafias."
I swallowed the lump forming in my throat. "I just can't bear watching them get hurt, Matteo. I can't watch them be treated like they're mistakes."
My voice grew quieter. "That was how I was treated my whole life. By my own family. I know what it's like to feel unwanted. To walk into a room and already know people have decided you aren't enough."
I looked back up at him, my eyes burning. "I promised myself my children would never feel that way. I promised I would give them the love I never got."
A tear slipped down my cheek. "And yet..." I shook my head. "Look where we are, Matteo. My worst fear came true."
By the time I finished, my breathing was uneven, but somehow I felt lighter. Like all those fears I had been holding onto finally had somewhere to go.
Matteo didn't speak right away. Instead, he took my hand in both of his and looked at me with those warm brown eyes that always seemed to see straight through me. He saw everything. The fears I tried to hide. The insecurities I carried from a childhood that never gave me what I deserved.
He knew what he was getting when he chose me. And he had his own scars too. Ones he rarely spoke about because he believed some memories were too dark for the people he loved to carry with him.
Some things only he and his brothers understood.
"Mia cara," he whispered, squeezing my hand. "The difference between you then and our children now is that they are growing up in a home where they are loved."
His thumb brushed over my knuckles. "They wake up every day knowing they are wanted. They are protected. They are cherished."
A small smile tugged at his lips. "They are also spoiled rotten, but that is beside the point." I let out a small laugh through my tears. "We are raising strong, intelligent, caring children. We cannot change the past, Yana. We can only choose what we do with the future."
He leaned closer. "And right now, we are choosing to show them that they are not defined by what other people think of them."
I stared into his eyes and slowly nodded. "I don't regret anything," I admitted softly. His expression softened.
"I think after hearing Aldo tear our kids down, I blamed myself. Or maybe I blamed the younger version of me who didn't understand what we were getting ourselves into." I sighed. "I just couldn't resist the Matteo Basilio charm."
The corner of his mouth lifted immediately. "Understandable. It is a very powerful charm."
I rolled my eyes, laughing as I tugged his arm. "Don't do that." He chuckled, but then his expression softened again. Pulling me into his embrace, his long arms wrapped securely around me.
"We will do the best we can," he whispered into my hair. "We have each other." I closed my eyes and rested against him. "We do."
A comfortable silence settled between us before I looked up. "And your brother..." Matteo groaned slightly. "Here we go."
I smiled. "The whole Gabriel thing is still confusing me. Is he really just his best friend?"
Matteo shook his head with a small laugh. "Adriano has been confusing me from day one. I just stopped asking questions years ago." He gave me a playful look. "Trust me, it keeps my sanity intact."
I laughed as he leaned down and pressed his lips against mine. And for a moment...the chaos outside disappeared. There was just us.
Gianna Pov~
I walked into my sons' room and found Damien sitting on the bed while AJ watched TV beside him. Damien was scrolling through his phone, but the second they noticed me, their attention immediately shifted toward me.
"Hey guys," I said softly, walking closer.
"Mom, are you okay?" Damien asked, sitting up straighter. I nodded with a small smile. "I'm okay. But what about you two?" These were my oldest boys. The ones who noticed everything, who carried more than they ever admitted. I needed to know how they were truly handling everything.
They both nodded. "Better than the rest of them," Damien answered honestly. "We kind of pieced together that something like this would happen eventually." His jaw tightened slightly, anger flashing across his face.
"I think it was more anger than anything else. Aldo shouldn't be able to walk all over us like he has been."
I sighed softly. "I know, but your father will stop him. You know that, right?" They both nodded without hesitation.
"We would never doubt that," Damien replied. A small smile tugged at my lips. The confidence they had in their father warmed my heart.
"Good. Now I'm going to get some sleep. It has been a very eventful day." I walked over and kissed both of them on the cheek.
"Goodnight, boys." I turned toward the door, but before I could leave, AJ's voice stopped me. "Mom."
I turned around. "Hmm?" He gave me a small smirk. "We aren't ashamed to be Russian."
My heart softened. "We couldn't imagine ever being normal anyway." I smiled, feeling a warmth spread through my chest. My boys were growing up. "Love you boys."
"Love you, Mom," they both replied. With that, I walked out of the room with a smile on my face.
Walking down the hallway, I stopped in front of Adriano's and my bedroom door. I took a deep breath in and slowly released it before a yawn escaped me.
I was exhausted. Opening the door, I stepped inside and closed it behind me.
Adriano was already in bed, surprisingly. He sat against the headboard, the comforter resting around his waist as he worked on his laptop. His face was focused, completely lost in whatever he was reading.
I took the opportunity to slip into the bathroom, change, and finish my nightly routine. By the time I was done, Adriano had already closed his laptop and placed it on the bedside table.
I climbed into bed beside him, barely getting comfortable before his arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me against his warm body. I smiled against him, pressing a kiss beneath his jaw.
"How were the twins, Ales, and Dantae?" I asked. We had split up earlier, each taking a group of kids to make sure they were okay and to answer any questions they still had.
Adriano sighed softly. "The twins were more upset than anything else. They were scared after everything that happened, but I managed to cheer them up."