41 - Avery
Avery
I unlock Wesley’s apartment door with the spare key she’d shoved into my hand three years ago after declaring that real friends don’t knock.
The second the door swings open, I’m greeted by complete and utter chaos.
Cardboard boxes cover nearly every inch of the living room floor.
Half of Wesley’s bookshelf sits stacked neatly against one wall, while the other half has somehow migrated onto the couch.
Bubble wrap trails across the carpet, and packing paper spills out of an open box labeled KITCHEN in thick black marker.
“Please tell me you brought coffee,” Wesley calls from somewhere deeper in the apartment.
“I did,” I answer, carefully stepping over a box labeled Blankets - Important. “But first, why are blankets labeled as important?”
She pops her head around the corner. “Uh, because they are. Duh.”
“You’re doing this all wrong. You need to be using the blankets to help pack the fragile stuff so you use less packing paper.”
Her brow furrows. “Huh. I hadn’t thought of that.”
I smile widely. “Call the news. I thought of something Wesley Miller didn’t think of first.”
“Why are we calling the news?” Harper walks out of the bathroom into the hall.
“Because Wes is shit at packing.”
Wesley throws one of the blankets at me, narrowly missing the coffees I have balanced in my hand. “I’m not shit at packing.”
Harper chuckles. “That’s debatable.”
Wesley’s eyes narrow. “Traitor.” Then she turns to me, and before she says a word, I already know I’m under fire. “We should be calling the news because Avery’s in a relationship. That’s the real groundbreaking development.”
I feel my cheeks heat, and even embarrassed, I can’t stop the smile that tugs at my lips.
“Oh my gosh, she’s blushing.” Harper’s eyes widen.
“I am not.” I throw the blanket back in their direction and scramble for the kitchen away from their prying eyes.
This morning, I’d been tucked into bed with Grayson, wishing we could stay there forever, but just like we knew it would, the real world came crashing in. His coach called him in to go over whatever punishment he’d face for his on-ice brawl.
I left Grayson’s house an hour ago. Logically, I know that he is probably still in the middle of dealing with the fallout, but that doesn’t make me any less anxious to know what the repercussions will be.
He’d gotten into that fight because of me, and while it was the last thing I wanted him to do, I feel at least partially responsible. Which is why, after driving to my place, I realized that as much as I didn’t want to face the music with my friends, I didn’t want to be alone even more.
Now, I’m here with my friends trailing behind me, preparing for a full-scale interrogation.
“Who’s blushing?” Sloane pops up from behind a tower of boxes wearing some crazy hat that I’m positive Wesley would never be caught dead in.
“Avery,” Harper and Wesley say at the same time.
I flip them off. “I am not. Also, what the hell is on your head?”
She snorts, toeing a box out of her way. “No clue. Found it in a closet.”
I turn to Wesley. “Why do you have-” I trail off, lip curling as I motion to it. “Whatever that is?”
She sighs. “Just give me my damn coffee.”
They all three step forward, taking the to-go cups out of the holder. A chorus of sighs rings out as they all take a sip.
“Damn, that’s good.” Sloane visibly relaxes against the counter.
I slide my phone out of my pocket, clicking it open and then locking it when I realize there are no messages waiting for me. Sliding it onto the counter face up, I glance back to find all three of them grinning.
“I hate all of you,” I mumble.
Harper chuckles, but Wes looks at me as if she’s trying to see right through me.
“Why’d you hide everything with Grayson?” She asks.
“I already told you–” I start.
“No,” she cuts in. “The real reason.”
“That is the real reason.”
“Aves.” Harper’s voice is in full teacher mode.
“What? It started out as nothing.”
“That’s never stopped you before. I’ve heard about every one-night stand or wild hookup. Even when you regretted them. So why was this different?”
“I haven’t been around long, but I even heard about the one-night stand, ‘best orgasm of your life’ guy.” Sloane takes a sip of her coffee.
I turn to her, nose scrunching in apology as she pieces it together.
She almost spits her coffee out. “No. God. I should have figured that out. You mean to tell me that was him? I’ve been lusting for an encounter of my own that mirrors the one you had with my family?”
“You’re not really related.” Wesley shrugs.
“Close enough.” She drags a hand down her face.
I snort. “It was good, though.”
“Put me out of my misery.” Sloane slides the small box labeled kitchen utensils across the counter. “There’s a knife in there somewhere.”
Laughter echoes through the room, settling into an expectant quiet while they wait for me to answer Wesley’s actual question.
“Honestly? Damon fucked me up. And I know I’ve told you about what happened now, but it wasn’t really about what he did as much as it was about how it made me feel. Stupid. Embarrassed. Unlovable.”
Harper opens her mouth, but I shake my head and keep going.
“I told myself I didn’t mention Grayson because telling people we were casually hooking up could screw with the friend group, but that’s really only a small part of it.
” I tap my fingers on the counter. “I was just scared. Scared that it would be exactly like it was last time. Scared that I’d have to admit for a second time that I just wasn’t the kind of person anyone good would actually want. ”
“We’d never think that.” Wesley’s voice is quiet, her hand landing on my own to stop my nervous tapping.
“Yeah, but I did. My parents never loved me unconditionally, at least not in any sort of healthy way. Then, Damon didn’t either.
Then Harper got married, and you found Nathan, and I was so unbelievably happy for you, but I also took it as a sign that I wasn’t the kind of person who could ever have that.
” I pause, swallowing past the lump in my throat before continuing.
“I think once I realized that Grayson was nothing like Damon, it scared me more, because if he was actually good and he didn’t want me, it would prove everything I already thought about myself.”
“And now?” Harper asks.
“And now, I realize it wasn’t about me at all. It was about them. It was always about them, and I deserved better.” I swallow. “Grayson is that for me. He’s more than I ever thought I’d have, and he saw right through every thorn and loved me anyway.”
Tears prickle in my eyes, and I wipe them away.
Sloane pushes off the counter. “When my mom died and Wyatt adopted me, Grayson was there every step of the way, helping Wyatt figure out the paperwork and processes. He started bringing us to family dinners and never once made us feel weird about it. He told us that it’s what family does, treating us as if we’d always belonged. He’s pretty amazing.”
“Did you say Wyatt adopted you?” Harper asks, brows furrowing.
Sloane shrugs, but I can see something behind her eyes. “Long story for another day. My point is that Grayson really is one of the good ones.”
“The best one.” I smile.
“It’s nice seeing you so happy.” Harper pulls me into a quick hug, and I let her.
“You know, he might be good for you, but you’re just as good for him,” Sloane adds while emptying one of the kitchen drawers.
“I think his coach would disagree.”
“Okay, yeah, that sucks. But I just mean in general. Grayson has always been so straight-laced and controlled as if he’s never been allowed to relax into himself.
And yes, he shouldn’t make brawls on the ice a regular occurrence, but I’m not sure he’s ever felt passionately enough about anything to lose himself in it.
I think it’s good for him to really feel things to the fullest extent. ”
I turn the idea over in my head, remembering what Katie said about him living in a box. Two of the people who know him best think that I’m good for him, and while normally I would ignore the idea entirely, I decide to take them at their word.
“What ended up happening with hockey?” Wesley asks, taping a box shut.
“He’s there now. I don’t know yet, but whatever it is, he’ll be okay.”
I say it as much for them as for myself.
“I love this for us.” Wesley spins around the kitchen. “You’re in a relationship. I’m moving in with Nathan. Harper’s married. Who would’ve thought when we were twenty that this is how things would pan out?”
“At twenty, I wasn’t thinking about the future. Probably just Jello shots.” I tease.
I glance at Harper, but she doesn’t even grin.
Sloane sighs. “I’ve made three friends here. Wesley is coupled up. Now Avery’s coupled up. And Harper is happily married. What about me?”
Harper’s face tightens.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, cutting through the chatter.
“Nothing.”
“Bullshit, Harp.” I cross my arms. “I’ve known you too long for you to be able to successfully lie to me. You’re shit at it.”
“We can talk about it later.”
“No,” Wesley cuts in. “I’m sick of all this ‘we’ll talk about it later’ bullshit we’ve all been doing for months. We’ve been avoiding hard conversations too much.”
“I’m getting divorced. Okay?” Harper slams her cup down. “I’m not happily married. I’m not in a perfect relationship. I’m in no relationship at all. Are you happy now?”
She’s been with James since they were fifteen. They just got married last year. They were supposed to be forever.
“I had no idea.” Wesley hugs her, but Harper’s arms hang at her side.
“I didn’t think…” I trail off, having no idea what to say to someone whose entire life is being turned upside down. “Are you okay?”
She snorts, then her eyes start to water. “Not really.”
This time, when we reach for her, she hugs us back, all four of our tangled limbs trying to provide comfort.
“What did he do?” Wesley asks the question I’d been thinking.
There’s no world in which this divorce is because of a mistake Harper made. She’s given James everything for years.
“Nothing. It isn’t some big cheating scandal or a lie we can’t come back from. He just did nothing. Nothing to save us. Nothing to show me he even wanted to try. So, I finally had the papers drawn up.”
“It’s been that bad for that long?” Sloane’s brows shoot up.
“Yeah, the divorce is new. The marriage has been over for a while. I just didn’t want to face it.”
“I’m sorry, Harper,” Sloane says, squeezing her hand.
“You know what’s best for you, and if that’s this divorce, then we’ve got you,” I say, making sure she knows that we’re here for her.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Wesley asks.
“Not really. Not yet.” Harper shakes her head, and I notice her hand shaking slightly at her side.
“So we’re back to that whole ‘talk about it later’ thing?” I tease, breaking the ice.
“Yeah, I’d rather focus on being happy for you,” Harper says, and I can see in her eyes how much she means it.
“And happy for Wesley because her new apartment with Nathan is so much nicer than this place.”
“Hey! I love it here.” Wesley pinches me.
“It’s small and dark.”
“It’s homey.”
“Sure, we can call it that.”
“Says the woman with a velvet couch,” Sloane adds in.
Harper grins, and Wesley winks at me because, without either of us saying a word, that is what we both were trying to make happen.
“I like my velvet couch.” I toss a marker at Sloane.
“So did everyone,” she grins widely, “in the seventies.”
I gasp, “Do you even have a couch yet, or are you still sitting on the floor?”
“You said my carpet was comfy.” Sloane points at me.
Harper finally joins in, “Sloane, babe, no one’s carpet is that comfy.”
The room is quiet for a second until we all burst out in a fit of giggles. It’s exactly what we needed to lighten the mood.
Every single one of us is on the cusp of a major life change, and I feel so lucky to go through it all with them. And even though everything is different, it’s still the same.
My phone buzzes on the counter, and I pick it up to see Grayson’s name flash across the screen. Okay, so it’s mostly the same, but there are some things that are better.
Grayson. He’s better.